A Way Forward for Discernment in Congregations: LGBTQ+ Inclusion Discernment
Abstract
:1. Introduction and Literature Review
1.1. History: The Church and Inclusion/Exclusion
1.2. The Church and LGBTQ+ Inclusion
1.2.1. Examples of Church Discernment Processes
1.2.2. Issues of Discernment
2. Materials and Methods
2.1. Qualitative Study
2.1.1. Sampling
2.1.2. Interviews
3. Results
3.1. Three Groups of Congregations
3.1.1. Congregations with Difficult Processes
Our process was very painful…the realization of what we learned about each other in our approach to this question, in particular, was very painful…… Those political overtones, though completely unintended by us, you couldn’t escape it; it was like this soup that we were living in at that time where…you’re on this side or you’re on that side. And that sort of washed over every aspect of your life, and it was horrible (H1B3)Basically, the church can “come out” in a helpful way and in an unhelpful way. So, for instance, if a church doesn’t quite figure out ways to bring everybody along with them, then there can be a schism that takes place… Maybe 5–10% of the congregation left after the decision. And so-the ones that stayed… were like, “This is the right thing to do” … but it did cause the congregation and the budget to dip after the decision (G4A1).
3.1.2. Congregations with History of Process
… the church has tackled tough issues before, and so one of the things I think we learned again for multiple times is we can tackle tough issues, we can discuss it, we can disagree, but we can come to a majority decision, and then we can all learn to respect the majority decision and continue to do the important things without letting that separate us (H2B1).The church has always been—it was, as far as I know, the first Baptist church in our state to have female deacons, ordained women, and allow women into leadership positions in the church. Those guys have crossed that bridge a long time ago. So, the church, throughout its history, has had a—this isn’t our first rodeo, so to speak, on a controversial issue (C2B1M).
I think the history of this church is they’ve always been deeply involved in justice issues. So, I think, from what I hear people recalling is, they felt that there was some injustice in place (C3B2J).It really has been who the church has been all along. They’ve had very prophetic pastoral leaders. Always pushing issues of justice. So, I think it’s, like you said, that’s part of the DNA of the congregation (C3A1).
It’s for the Kingdom. We’re here to do the work that is laid out before us. It’s really these kinds of hard decisions and hard conversations are part of this church and its past. It’s not the first time that—there are different issues that this church has made hard decisions when no one else did, and so, it’s part of our heritage, really. So, it’s very much our DNA (C2A2).You’re gonna lose people. There’s no getting around that. You cannot make everyone happy. You have to decide what the highest value is and be okay with that. But you can’t stay in the middle. It’s not okay. You do more damage in the middle than you do taking a side, honestly (H4A1).
3.1.3. Ministerial Led Processes
And then there were people who felt that I shouldn’t have preached that because I was trying to push the issue versus the congregation sort of—so that was kind of a it totally depends on who you ask if that was a wise sermon or an unwise sermon. I have no regrets about it. But it definitely rattled a few people (C1A1).I did a lot of work, but it didn’t end up helping very much. I sort of sat down with everybody individually and I said, “Here’s the process our congregation is in the middle of. I can’t tell you for sure how it’s gonna end up. Here’s where I think it might end up. We wanna stay in relationship with you. I just wanna have a conversation with you about what that might look like or if that’s possible.” So, I tried to be really intentional about being relational with leadership from each of those major entities (C1A1).We’re a healthy, vibrant church. The people who left did not leave talking, in large part I think because they respected me, and they respected the church, and they respected the process (C2A1).
Well, I think we still have people who are comfortable with the church and uncomfortable with the denomination because of that. And I think they would be the part of the group I said or those who decided that maybe they didn’t agree with the redefinition of marriage but wanted to remain a part of the congregation and a part of the fellowship while disagreeing with what the Book of Order says (G2B1).Well, our church we’ve already said that we’re gonna be accepting of anybody and I keep telling my church that the big United Methodist Church is gonna do what they want and this has all been kind of I think distracting us from doing God’s work. At least in my church, we are gonna continue to do God’s work and we’re not gonna get sidetracked by all this drama that the big church is doing, that we have a mission and that mission is to be out and helping make disciples of Jesus Christ and helping the poor and the widows and just doing what the church is actually supposed to be doing. So, as far as our church goes, it hasn’t affected it and there’s people that are concerned about how the big church is going, but my thing is I’m gonna continue to do Christ’s work regardless of what the big United Methodist Church wants to do or is doing (H7A1MH).
3.1.4. Combination of Processes
3.2. Process Elements for Each of the Three Congregational Groups
But the Methodist Church decided that they had no place in the Methodist community. At that time, there were several members of the church, I would call them elders of the church, who had children that chose a different sexual orientation than they were born with. And so, this was a very upsetting time for them and it was at this time that the entire congregation pulled together and said we will not accept this. We will be a reconciling congregation. We will accept all people regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation. We just wanted them to be good Christian people or good people. And we set that up. I don’t think anyone has ever looked back. There were times we did have—and this was before my time also, so I’m not topic talking from first experiences (H4B1).
3.2.1. Example 1
3.2.2. Example 2
I’m not sure. For that specific reason—I mean, because the church has a number of different social justice stances, and it might be all wrapped up in that, why people are attending. But I mean, just an estimate, maybe five to 10 people that have come. I mean, if I count all the LGBT members of our church, for sure, all of them, so that actually probably would push it beyond 10, once you gather together allies and members of the community, that would come in to stay for that reason (C3B3M).
And I think a little history about our church might be important. For years, our church provided the meeting place for PFLAG… And it had always been a very open and accepting body regardless of someone’s sexual orientation. Nobody really knew—or if they knew, they didn’t really care what someone’s orientation was—and none of that changed (G2B1).
We did lose a few families. Interestingly, not very many people would say they left because of that. I think most people would say they left because of me. At least, that’s been my experience. I kind of interpret that as I’m an easier target. I’m the new pastor. It’s easier to be upset with me. But—you know (C1A1).So, we’ve had people who’ve left. We’ve had people who’ve come… but there has been concern that some of the people who left either because of the LGBTQ issue or for some other reasons that may have been connected in some ways to that (C1B1).
3.3.3. Example 3
I don’t think it’s exactly excommunication, but you know you get kicked out of the church. And so based on what the United Methodist Church has said formally as a church body, those things could potentially happen. I mean I doubt that they would happen because of the scale that they would have to discipline everyone who’s in support of reconciliation is huge. But also the bishop of our jurisdiction, she is also an open lesbian and so in addition to receiving death threats the whole time she’s been bishop, she now has to face losing her ordination because these are really serious … Well, not to mention the fact that it’s very hard to convince people in the queer community that we are inclusive and affirming when our own church body is saying that we are not. So, we go to gay Pride or we go to gay events (M4B3M).
4. Discussion
Then the United Methodist Church had this terrible vote and kind of went back into history in terms of openness and equality and a lot of the … So, I was on church council at the time. A lot of the leaders were really frustrated about it. A lot of people like me—even lifelong Methodists like myself—were like, “I have to leave the church. How can I sit here and be complacent?” So, out of that kind of people talking about it, the church council decided to move forward with the reconciling process a second time—or at least a second time since I’ve been a member of the church. So, I want to say the spring—late spring maybe—we started this process again and so people volunteered to be on the reconciling ministry steering committee (M7B3V).
4.1. Strengths and Limitations
Strengths of the Study
4.2. Significance of the Study
5. Conclusions
5.1. Preparation
It was about, “Who are we as a congregation and how do we be God’s people?” So, I think being very clear about why you’re having the conversation and making sure that your motives are right, that they’re theologically grounded and it’s not about money or members or you know any of those other things… So, I think that would be kind of key is making sure you know what your “why” is before you ever start” (G6B1MH).
Well, I would say do it on purpose. Decide who you want to be. Understand that there can be consequences to being open and affirming. Plan carefully. Be open. Don’t hide things. Don’t whisper in the corners. Be open to everybody but just be ready that there will be some people who won’t be accepting of it. You cannot change people overnight and long-held beliefs, you just can’t tell people to get over it. It doesn’t work that way. So, be patient, be prayerful, be kind, be thoughtful, and be ready (G4B1).
I think the biggest things other congregations could take away from this would be like A. just have the discussion. It needs to be had. There some churches that aren’t ready to have it like that like they know that it would be super contentious if they had the discussion so they’re waiting but I would say every church should at least have it no matter where they end up on it they should have the discussion and then have it be whatever it is (G1B1).
… I think overall the church has learned how to have more respectful conversations about difficult topics and things we disagree about…. I think the church has learned how to talk about things and to be more open to other people’s point of views and also realize that there’s a lot of differing point of views about a whole slew of things, including the bible and all of that (M7B3V).
I’m looking at churches, organizations, people helping churches and congregations get through the process in a healthy way is not only something that’s good for the LGBTQ community and inclusion, but also good for many other very divisive topics within congregational life. And so I think that’s needed more and more (G4A1).
5.1.1. Hear Every Voice
I would say giving every voice a chance to be heard … and even to the point of saying, “We would really like to hear from everyone” knowing some people are more reluctant to speak up… So, I think that was just a big lesson learned—really hearing from everyone, really trying to just be as clear and say things head-on so that people know exactly what the choice points are (C3A2MH).
5.1.2. Leadership, Process, and People Matter
Whether preparation is done by the ministerial staff, lay leadership like deacons or elders, or another church entity, the leadership model for choosing and implementing the process is as important as the process itself. That includes understanding the church identity and church goals, how hierarchical the leadership model is, and how decisions are made in the congregation. In every process and every decision, the people of the congregation matter and should be considered with care. And I think that’s the best advice I can give any institution that’s considering is never lose sight in whatever process that’s that congregational polity, to always make people the most important thing (G4A2).
Of course, every church is going have to come to their own decision, while we feel strongly that our outcome was where God was leading us… I would respect if they studied and prayerfully approached the Christian and came to a different conclusion, our story has a bit of a problem with churches that just won’t even face the question. But that’s not my place to say. It just seems a little, burying your head in the sand to say it’s not a question that deserves attention, and that these people deserve thoughtful, prayerful consideration. But I think choose the process that’s right for your congregation knowing that people are going to criticize your process because people find it easier to say it was a bad process than to admit that they came to a different decision (H1B3).
So, what I wish I knew I mean that people aren’t an issue that these are people’s lives and it’s easy for us to have conversations about the issue and how it affects our churches and denominations and schools and all of the above but—at the end of the day—these are people who are beloved children of God (H5A1).
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Acknowledgments
Conflicts of Interest
Appendix A
- Before we begin, do you have any questions for me about the consent or the process?
- Please provide basis demographic about yourself: Age; Marital Status; Race/Ethnicity; Religious affiliation; Educational preparation/seminary?; Marital Status; If married, how long; Children; Grandchildren; church membership in this church including how long; leadership roles in the church; other information you would like for us to know… This information will be separated from the interview in a demographics document connected only to your interview ID number.
- How would you describe your congregation?
- What challenges have you seen your church work through? What has the church learned from these experiences?
- What is the congregations’ position with respect to having a conversation about LGBTQ + persons in the congregation? Are you: considering a conversation? Having a conversation? Had a conversation?
- What vocabulary is used in your congregation? Congregation/church/fellowship? Church members? Pastor/minister/priest/?; LBGTQ+?
- What is the leadership format in your church? Elders? Deacons? Coordinating Council? What type of church governance is in place?
- What was your congregation’s process for discernment in the conversation related to more open membership?
- o
- Who led it? (members, deacons, discernment committee, pastoral team?)
- o
- Was there a precipitating event(s) that led to the discussion?
- o
- What was the process for planning the discussion?
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- How would you describe the health or climate of the congregation before the church discussions?
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- Who led the plan? Process for deciding on leadership?
- o
- Discuss the process and who was included.
- o
- What went well?
- o
- What did not go well?
- o
- What do you wish your church had done differently?
- o
- Did discussion include conversation about LGBTQ+ youth? Depression, anxiety, suicide?
- o
- How would you describe the health or climate of the congregation after the discussions? After the decision? Now?
- What recommendations do you have for other congregations interested in engaging in a similar process of discernment?
- What was the conclusion of the process?
- o
- How was it arrived at?
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- How, and to whom, was it communicated?
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- What have been the intended and unintended consequences of the decision/conclusion of the process?
- o
- Once the decision was made, discuss any denominational impacts or repercussions (including affiliation, budget, etc.).
- o
- Discuss impact on church membership, attendance, leadership, diversity, neighborhood, budget, immediately and over time?
- What are the lessons learned from the process and from the conclusion?
- What do you wish you had known as you started down the process of discernment?
- What resources do you believe are important in assisting congregations once they have made their decision to be an accepting congregation?
- What else would you like to share with us about this process and your congregation?
- What else would you like to share with us about this process and yourself and your family?
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Harris, H.; Yancey, G.; Dawson, K.; Gregory, J. A Way Forward for Discernment in Congregations: LGBTQ+ Inclusion Discernment. Religions 2021, 12, 191. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel12030191
Harris H, Yancey G, Dawson K, Gregory J. A Way Forward for Discernment in Congregations: LGBTQ+ Inclusion Discernment. Religions. 2021; 12(3):191. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel12030191
Chicago/Turabian StyleHarris, Helen, Gaynor Yancey, Kimberly Dawson, and Jess Gregory. 2021. "A Way Forward for Discernment in Congregations: LGBTQ+ Inclusion Discernment" Religions 12, no. 3: 191. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel12030191
APA StyleHarris, H., Yancey, G., Dawson, K., & Gregory, J. (2021). A Way Forward for Discernment in Congregations: LGBTQ+ Inclusion Discernment. Religions, 12(3), 191. https://doi.org/10.3390/rel12030191