Koorlangka Dreaming Becomes a Reality: A Moombaki Virtual Reality with Connections to Noongar Moort, Boodja, and Karnarn

Round 1

Reviewer 1 Report

Comments and Suggestions for Authors

I enjoyed reading of this work. The project seems novel, exciting and much needed. Indeed, I say ‘Woolah!’ as my spirit is very happy to see this work going on.

I encourage the editors to work with the authors to see this published. In my view, there are a number of great contributions to the field of education and work with koolungka. This includes the fact that it highlights a project that draws upon and builds itself on the foundations of Noongar epistemology, knowledge and methodologies. I find highly interesting and critical the paper’s discussion of Noongar lenses, knowledge systems and epistemologies. In my view this has massive value for students generally.

Again I say ‘woolah’. Following old methodologies this is a project that brings together a range of people to work together, most impressive and most central are koorlungka, demankur and Noongar katatjin. This is a part of the work that makes my koort djerapiny. This is not only quopaduk (beautiful) but a wonderful methodological model we can all learn from. If it were only for this reason then the paper must go public.

The description of the process used to develop the resources is also critical. The part played by what wedjela call ‘art’ and performance is another methodological contribution.

I would love to see and understand more about what the actual game/s look like. I can see much relevance to various of areas of work with koorlungka including building their Noongar ‘literacy’, digital ‘literacy’ and English literacy as well as supporting cognitive development, health and wellbeing, sense of confidence and esteem as Noongar and other areas of education (I suspect this includes maths, science).

As someone who has been fortunate enough to be taught by many Noongar knowledge scholars I enjoyed reading about the process of having koorlungka guide the work through their artful expressions. I think there is a wealth of wisdom to be gained from these processes. I wonder how easily a reader with little knowledge of Noongar frameworks would find this paper. Perhaps, some citation could help these kinds of readers.

I am less clear about what the games look like, what students do as they navigate the work and for what purposes designers are attempting. I suspect that first and foremost having students enjoy themselves and be introduced to more Noongar knowledge is more than adequate. However, this might be something that readers are wondering about.

There may also be some who are wondering why it is important to do this kind of work. As well as the explanations about the connection between culture and health and wellbeing there is some good evidence from brain science on the importance of experience, familiar language and cultural relevance to cognitive activation.

I don’t think the paper has demonstrated the work has played a positive role in strengthening the wellbeing of Aboriginal children, particularly Noongar children. I personally have little doubt that it will and probably has. Indeed, my own experience tells me that without language and culturally based learning tools we will always struggle. However, I suspect that most readers will not conclude from what they have read that the work has played a positive role ….

On the other hand I don’t think the paper necessarily has to do this. I think the strength of the paper is in describing a process that invites students to have a fun, exciting, illuminating and culturally relevant set of learning experiences. Perhaps this could be the conclusion.   

Additional comments that I noted as I read. This is intended as food for thought if it is found to be useful.

I note that literature is cited that establishes a correlation between language and general health, self-esteem and connection to culture. This is impressive.

 

A thought: I wonder if the authors are also familiar with work on the value of cognitive development, learning and education in first, second and other languages. As the author’s clearly understand, even though some koorlungka may not have been introduced to old version of Noongar language, many will be Noongar English speakers and listeners. This is likely to mean that having learning experiences in their home languages will be very important for cognition and depth of education.

 

I was particularly impressed to hear about the use of new technology, gaming and platforms that koorlungka find new and exciting.

 

Lines 119 and 120 are a little unclear at this stage.

 

Line 127. I love the use of the metaphor of riverbed. Is it useful to make it clear that this is a metaphor?

 

Line 132. Noongar lens? This implies that there is one distinct lens. Might you think about talking about Noongar lenses?

 

Line 170 “it is the trilogy of Noongar theory’ – this is unlikely to mean much to anyone is has not heard or read Lennie Collard. Perhaps it could be explained in a sentence or two.

 

Page 4.I personally think these interpretations are beautiful and illuminating. They make a great deal of sense to me given my own learning of Noongar knowledge systems and content. I wonder if some readers may not follow all that is being written or want some kind of definitive explanation of how the writers have come to this. (I personal find what has been offered more than enough but know that many academic readers can be demanding). Of perhaps it may help to cite some of the work of Noongar philosophers such as Len Collard, Cheryl Kickett, Noel Nannup, Barry McGuire etc or themselves if they are not in the group mentioned).

 

Line 157. What about a citation or two from various Noongar scholars on this?

 

Line 167: yes, the celestial ‘world’ is central. Again, I wonder about some citations, particularly from Aboriginal scholars.

 

Line 197: this may not be clear to many readers. I must confess that I am not entirely clear what is meant by: “The accessories depicted may be of contemporary society but the inclusion of them may show that they are important as part of traditional Noongar culture.” Perhaps some elaboration or an example may help.

 

1. 205: “progression of the child, Hunter and Elder” – do you mean the progression through the life process from child through to elder?

 

I notice the capitalising of various nouns seems to be inconsistent eg. line 205: “child, Hunter, Elder” Is there a suggestion that child is not a proper noun (the popular convention) but Hunter and Elder are proper nouns?. I think that this may be fine but worth explaining.

 

Line 210. Is moort necessarily ‘bloodline’?

 

Line 226: perhaps citations could be used here.

 

Line 244: in what way is innate being used here? Often it means inborn??

 

Line 268: a citation or two could be good here.

 

Line 272. Why is … in the sentence?

 

Line 274 should be ‘back and forth’

 

Line 276: I am not sure what went on with game design students that allowed them to understand Noongar epistemology and gain insights deep enough to shape their design work.

 

Line 286: It is worth noting how difficult it is to get a sense of what happens in the game/s. I wonder if images or some other visual means can be used to give the reader a sense of the experience.

 

Line 322 yes, but I am not really clear about what the experience looks like.

 

Line 353. Many readers will want to know how you have come to the conclusion that the game “has played a positive role in strengthening the wellbeing of Aboriginal children”.

 

Line 375: this has already been said.

 

Line. 383 ‘our current work is to work …” this is unclear.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments on the Quality of English Language

Refer above to ideas for clarity.

Author Response

Please see attachment

Author Response File: Author Response.docx

Reviewer 2 Report

Comments and Suggestions for Authors

This is a highly innovative and engaging Indigenous methodology for storytelling and sharing knowledge with children and young people. The process and engagement of community in developing this resource makes an important contribution to bring back traditional knowledge for those in the present and future. 

The paper is well written and highlights the process and methodology well. There is ... on line 272 that Im not sure is supposed to be there. 

The assertion that this resource strengthens identity, culture, country and kin is implied throughout the process but not evidenced in the paper. The paper could be strengthened by having quotes or measures from children that highlight their experiences and impact of participating in this project - how it made them feel more connected, strengthens identity, interest in schooling etc. It may that these results will be reported in another manuscript, so maybe you could signal this future paper, if this is true. 

Otherwise, this paper should more clearly state that this paper is about the process of development/methodology of the platform rather than emphasising the desired outcomes (strengthening children’s wellbeing and educational outcomes). 
There is larger International Indigenous research that could be utilised to strengthen the argument that Indigeneity is associated with better outcomes.

I also wonder if this methodology could be written up to support other Indigenous communities could follow a similar process to tell their unique histories and localise their teaching about Indigeneity based on this process. With the development of AI, creating this type of platform may be more accessible in the future to help communities with telling their own storytelling. 

Overall, congratulations on a wonderful project and I look forward to seeing more about it. 

Author Response

Please see attachment

Author Response File: Author Response.docx