Sexuality, Intimacy, and Loneliness in Later Life: How Older Single and Widowed Black Women Seek Support Beyond Family

Abstract

Loneliness poses a significant risk to the physical and mental well-being of older individuals, making it a pressing public health concern. Particularly for minority groups like elderly single and widowed Black women, the consequences of loneliness can be even more pronounced. To gain deeper insights into the experiences of loneliness and coping strategies used by these women, a qualitative phenomenological research study was conducted, involving interviews with fourteen such individuals. The study revealed four main themes: lonelier with age; looking beyond the family for intimacy; family responses to loneliness; and coping with loneliness. Irrespective of living arrangements, all participants acknowledged experiencing varying degrees of loneliness. Despite having extensive social networks, many struggled with feelings of loneliness, alienation, and a lack of emotional closeness and connection. Consequently, these findings emphasize the importance of addressing loneliness in elderly single and widowed Black women, considering the intersectionality of race, gender, and mental health when assessing the risk of loneliness. Practical and policy implications suggest that professionals and physicians working with this group actively screen for loneliness and develop interventions and psychological support to help these women navigate their feelings of isolation.

1. Introduction

Loneliness, a significant public health and mental health concern [1,2], has been shown in research to have various negative impacts on health. These include impaired cognitive functioning, reduced quality of life, diminished physical abilities, increased risk of sleep disturbances, cardiovascular disease, and higher mortality rates [3,4]. Studies have indicated that experiencing loneliness is associated with symptoms of depression [2] and overall mental health [5,6]. Loneliness has proven to be the most reliable predictor of depressive symptoms, poor mental health, and the development of psychiatric disorders throughout one’s lifetime, even when accounting for factors related to isolation. Multiple factors, such as a low quality of life, withdrawal from social activities, decline in physical or mental capacity, and isolation, can trigger loneliness [7].

1.1. Loneliness in Later Life

Although loneliness can be experienced at any age, its progression varies as individuals grow older, with those aged 80 and above having the highest prevalence of loneliness [8]. Older adults over the age of 65 often perceive loneliness as an unpleasant experience due to the fear of losing friends and cognitive abilities as they age [5,9]. Recent estimates indicate that one-fourth of community-dwelling seniors aged 65 and older are socially isolated [10], and nearly half (43%) of individuals in this age group report feelings of loneliness [3]. The death of spouses and being single can also contribute to loneliness among the older persons [11,12].

Loneliness is a subjective concept with no universally agreed-upon definition, leading to multiple interpretations. Researchers define loneliness as an absence of emotional and social connections [1,6,13,14]. Ojembe et al. describe loneliness as a negative feeling that arises when a person’s social needs do not align in quantity or quality with their existing relationships [15]. According to Taylor, isolation can be experienced on both a social and an intimate level [16], wherein socially isolated individuals feel detached from society and lack friends or social networks, suggesting that loneliness relates to the internal feeling of being lonely [17,18].

The level of loneliness one experiences may be influenced by their level of social interaction [19]. Social contact refers to the regular engagement individuals have with others [2]. Marriage, partnerships, families, and close friends all play crucial roles in people’s social lives [20,21]. Recent research indicated that older adults who had less frequent social interaction with family and friends reported higher levels of loneliness [1,3,10].

It is important to note that loneliness and social isolation are not synonymous and do not always coexist [22]. One can feel lonely despite having numerous close friends and acquaintances, while others might not feel lonely despite being objectively socially isolated from everyone they know [22]. However, some studies have used isolation as an indicator of the presence of loneliness [16]. According to the Oxford Dictionary, someone who feels lonely is “dissatisfied with the regularity and intensity of their social ties or the gap between the interactions they have and the relationships they wish to have” [23]. Thus, loneliness is a highly individual and relative experience.

1.2. Loneliness Among Older Black Women

While loneliness is widely studied in later life, its meanings and consequences are shaped by racialized and gendered life-course experiences that remain insufficiently explored. Within Black communities, studies exploring loneliness among older Black women often focus on the unique kinship system [24]. Unlike the traditional nuclear family structure, African American families exhibit a complex web of extended family ties that are often overlooked in favor of the two-parent hierarchical model [25,26,27]. A striking contrast emerges when comparing living arrangements; older Black women are more likely to reside with relatives other than a spouse, with 29% doing so compared to 14% and 28% for whites and Asians, respectively [28]. They also lead the way in solo living, with 44% choosing this path over 38%, 25%, and 24% for their white, Asian, and other racial counterparts.

While measures of loneliness tend to overlook and oversimplify the experiences of older women, it is important to recognize that their risk of loneliness stems from the quality of relationships with their adult children and extended family members. This may explain the surprising findings of Robert et al. that highlight how low-quality relationships lead to a sense of isolation, even when engaged in relationships [28]. Ojembe et al. explain that the experience of loneliness among older Black adults differs significantly from other ethnic groups due to the disproportionate disadvantages they face throughout their lives. Single and widowed older Black women have especially high levels of loneliness [16].

1.3. Intersecting Factors Shaping Loneliness

Loneliness among older Black women must also be understood within a racialized life-course context [29]. Compared with White older adults, Black women are more likely to experience cumulative structural disadvantages—including economic strain, neighborhood disinvestment, discrimination in health and social systems, and disproportionate caregiving burdens—that shape both exposure to stress and access to emotionally supportive relationships across adulthood [30]. These inequities may contribute to higher risks of widowhood and partnered loss, reduced opportunities for companionship in later life, and greater reliance on informal support networks that may not meet needs for emotional intimacy. As a result, loneliness may reflect not only interpersonal absence but also constrained relational opportunities produced by structural racism and gendered social expectations [15,31].

Prior work suggests that older Black women cope with loneliness through multiple pathways, including spirituality and faith community participation, reliance on extended kin and fictive kin networks, friendship-based support, volunteering and community engagement, and meaning-making practices that reinforce resilience [32,33]. However, these supports may not address emotional-intimate loneliness when the unmet need concerns companionship, touch, or romantic closeness. However, less is known about how older Black women navigate emotional-intimate loneliness when these coping pathways do not fulfill needs for companionship, touch, and romantic closeness—an area this study seeks to address.

Despite a growing body of social theory that emphasizes the role of race, gender, and sexuality in shaping Black social and intimate life, the experiences of older Black women, particularly in relation to loneliness and family relationships, remain under-researched. Existing scholarship has paid limited attention to how loneliness is understood, experienced, and negotiated in later life among Black women, or how these experiences are shaped by intersecting social, cultural, and historical contexts. Consequently, important questions remain about the social processes and structural conditions that contribute to the disproportionately high rates of loneliness observed among older African American women.

In response to these gaps, this study focuses on older single and widowed Black women, a group whose experiences of loneliness remain largely undocumented in the U.S. literature [34]. Specifically, the study examines how older single and widowed Black women seek support, companionship, and intimacy beyond their immediate family networks as strategies for coping with loneliness in later life.

1.4. Theoretical Framework and Conceptual Orientation

This study is guided by an integrated theoretical framework drawing on social constructionism, socioemotional selectivity theory (SST), and Selective Optimization with Compensation (SOC).

Grounded in social constructionism, this study conceptualizes loneliness as a socially produced and culturally mediated experience rather than an objective or purely individual condition [35]. This framework is particularly well suited to examining how older Black women interpret, negotiate, and give meaning to loneliness within intersecting contexts of aging, gender, race, and intimacy [36,37,38].

Central to social constructionism is the idea that individuals actively construct the meanings that shape their perceptions and experiences [36]. This perspective has been widely applied across disciplines, including gender studies, sexuality, and psychology, and underscores the importance of understanding lived experience from individuals’ own perspectives. In this study, social constructionism enables an exploration of how older Black women interpret and negotiate loneliness within the social structures that shape their everyday lives [37]. Social constructionism informs the study’s focus on meaning-making, emphasizing how participants construct and negotiate understandings of sexuality, desirability, and companionship within culturally and historically situated contexts.

1.5. Socioemotional Selectivity Theory (SST)

While social constructionism provides the primary analytic lens, complementary life-course theories help contextualize age-related changes in relational priorities and coping strategies. To situate these subjective experiences within aging-specific processes, the study also draws on Socioemotional Selectivity Theory (SST) [39,40]. SST posits that as individuals perceive their remaining time as limited, motivational priorities shift away from future-oriented goals (e.g., knowledge acquisition, expansive social networks) toward emotionally meaningful goals, including intimacy, emotional closeness, and affective satisfaction.

This theory is particularly relevant for understanding why participants—despite having extensive family ties and social networks—continued to experience loneliness. SST helps explain the women’s emphasis on emotional intimacy over social quantity and their desire for romantic companionship rather than increased social activity. Within this framework, loneliness arises not from social isolation per se, but from the absence of emotionally significant relationships that align with later-life motivational priorities.

1.6. Selective Optimization with Compensation (SOC)

In addition, Selective Optimization with Compensation (SOC) theory [41] provides a complementary lens for understanding how older adults adapt to age-related changes by selectively prioritizing valued goals, optimizing available resources, and compensating for losses, including shifts in health, social networks, and relational opportunities. SOC posits that individuals manage aging-related losses by selectively investing in valued domains, optimizing remaining capacities, and compensating for limitations.

Applied to loneliness, SOC suggests that reductions in social interaction do not inherently produce loneliness; rather, loneliness occurs when older adults lack access to meaningful relationships that align with their prioritized goals. The women in this study demonstrated selective social engagement, maintaining a small number of emotionally fulfilling relationships while disengaging from interactions perceived as superficial or emotionally unsatisfying. This theoretical perspective underscores that loneliness is not synonymous with social withdrawal but reflects unmet emotional needs; the SOC model explains how.

Together, SST and SOC illuminate how aging shapes both motivational priorities and adaptive strategies, while social constructionism situates these processes within culturally grounded narratives of gender, race, and aging.

1.7. Conceptual Distinction Between Social and Emotional Loneliness

Finally, the study is informed by Weiss’s typology of loneliness [42], which distinguishes between social loneliness (the absence of a broader social network) and emotional loneliness (the absence of close, intimate attachment). This distinction is central to interpreting participants’ narratives, as most women described emotional-intimate loneliness rather than social isolation. Despite frequent contact with family, friends, and community networks, participants emphasized the absence of romantic intimacy and emotional closeness as the primary source of their loneliness.

2. Methods

I used phenomenology as my primary method of inquiry, aiming to delve into the subjective experiences of older Black women and the personal meanings they ascribe to loneliness. Phenomenology, as defined by Creswell, is the examination of phenomena, objects, or events in our daily lives [43]. Following Husserl’s approach, Giorgi describes phenomenology as a rigorous scientific approach to understanding subjectivity [44,45]. According to Wojnar and Swanson, interpretive phenomenological treats the subject and the research as co-creators of knowledge and frequently employs a paradigm of exploration rather than verification [46].

Phenomenology serves as a powerful lens for comprehending human experiences as individuals interact with their surroundings and others [47]. By adopting this approach, I aimed to evaluate and understand common situations from the perspective of those experiencing them, shedding light on the subjective world of older Black women and their personal encounters with loneliness.

Data Collection and Demographics

Creswell discussed various aspects of the data collection process referred to as the “data collection circle” ([43], p. 146). This circle encompasses locating the site/individual, establishing rapport and gaining access, purposeful sampling, data collection, recording information, resolving field issues, and storing data (2012).

I utilized purposeful and snowball sampling to locate older black women in the community who self-identify as widows or single [43,48]. Following Patton’s definition of purposive sampling, I selected a homogeneous purposive sample consisting of older black widowed women to gather the richest form of information [49]. Additionally, to increase the sample size for this hard-to-reach population, snowball sampling was employed to recruit participants referred by other widows [48].

After obtaining approval for the study from the Institutional Review Board (IRB), I recruited participants through various channels such as flyers, online platforms, word-of-mouth referrals from senior canters, churches, dating sites, community message boards, bereavement support groups, fitness canters, and by making guest appearances at events targeted towards older widowed black women. Data were collected between January and July 2019.

The semi-structured interview guide used open-ended, non-leading questions and follow-up probes to allow participants to define loneliness in their own terms and describe coping strategies based on their lived experiences. Sample questions included: “Can you tell me about your social life and relationships at this stage of your life?”, “What does loneliness mean to you?”, “How would you describe that experience in your own words?”, “When you do feel lonely, what do you usually do?”, “What helps you cope or feel connected?”, and “Have your ways of coping changed over time?”

Although the interview guide did not include a standalone or systematically administered set of questions focused explicitly on physical or sexual intimacy, participants were invited to speak broadly about loneliness, relationships, coping strategies, and sources of connection in later life. Within this open-ended format, several participants voluntarily raised issues related to physical intimacy, sexual desire, and the absence or reconfiguration of physical closeness. These narratives were retained and analytically examined as part of the study’s exploration of intimacy and coping in later adulthood.

For this study, I conducted interviews with fourteen older black women. Their ages ranged from 60 to 75 years, and their demographic details are provided in table one. Although participants varied in marital history (widowed, divorced, never married), all were living without a cohabiting romantic partner at the time of interview. Some participants were dating; however, none shared a household with a partner. Participants were therefore grouped analytically based on their shared experience of navigating later life without a partnered household, while acknowledging variability in pathways into singlehood, (see

Table 1. Participant Demographics.

Pseudonym	Age	Country of Origin	Marital Status	Living Arrangement	Age at First Marriage	of Years Since Partner Died/Single/Widowed	Dating?	Children	Work Status
Emmanuela	71	US born	widowed	Alone	18	3	Yes	2	Retired
Vicky	71	US born	widowed	Family	17	20	yes/no	2	Retired
Marie	69	US born	separated	Alone	21	50	No	3	Student
Rose	60	US born	widowed	Alone	20	12	yes/no	1	Retired
Becky	75	Caribbean	widowed	Alone	20	23	Yes	2	HHA
Agnes	60	Africa	widowed	Alone	25	15	yes	4	Retired
Abigail	70	US born	widowed	Alone	17	20	Yes	1	Retired
Paula	60	US born	widowed	Alone	17	50	No	6	Retired
Kate	74	US born	widowed	Alone	18	5	No	1	Retired
Lumba	75	Caribbean	never married	Alone		50	No	0	Retired
Alice	64	Caribbean	divorced	Alone	21	5	no	4	Manager
Sharon	64	US born	never married	Family		30	No	3	Manager
Mary	74	US born	divorced	Family	21	30	Yes	1	Retired
Tamika	68	US born	divorced	Alone	25	30	Yes	3	Gym Director

).

Interview times were scheduled based on mutual convenience, and participants were given the option to choose their preferred location. Although the initial assumption was that participants would prefer their homes, many opted for cafes and restaurants as they felt their homes were not suitable for discussing such sensitive topics. With participants’ permission, the interviews were voice-recorded.

Throughout the collection, analysis, and reporting stages of this study, strict ethical standards were maintained. The women participated voluntarily, were verbally informed about the study’s nature, goals, and procedures, and their privacy and confidentiality were protected by using pseudonyms instead of their real names to ensure the declassification of personal information. Data were analyzed using an inductive, phenomenological thematic analysis. Interview transcripts were read repeatedly to ensure immersion and to identify meaning units related to loneliness, intimacy, family relationships, and coping strategies. Initial open coding was conducted by the author, followed by constant comparison across transcripts to refine codes and identify patterns of shared meaning.

The identified themes were organized into a table summarizing the analysis and highlighting key points through significant statements. Additionally, a narrative account was created to emphasize expressions that were meaningful to the participants, accompanied by personal interpretations. Supervision, peer review, and maintaining a reflexive journal facilitated the evaluation of coherence, plausibility, and reflexivity in the interpretation process [48].

A subset of transcripts and the preliminary coding framework were independently reviewed, and discrepancies in interpretation were discussed until consensus was reached, resulting in refinement of codes and themes.

Analytic rigor was enhanced through reflexive memo writing and peer debriefing with a qualitative researcher experienced in phenomenological methods. Reflexive memoing was used to examine how the researcher’s positionality, assumptions, and emotional responses shaped interpretation. This reflexive process informed ongoing analytic decisions and helped ensure that themes remained grounded in participants’ narratives rather than imposed a priori interpretations.

While member checking was planned, it could not be fully implemented as the participants were unwilling to review their reports and transcripts. However, auditing trail documentation was maintained throughout the data collection and analysis [48]. Consistent with phenomenological qualitative research, reliability was established through analytic transparency, reflexivity, prolonged engagement with the data, and thick description, rather than through statistical measures of intercoder agreement. NVivo 12 (2018) software was employed to organize and analyse the data, chosen based on my familiarity and comfort with the software.

3. Results

Four interrelated themes emerged from the analysis, each comprising several sub-themes that captured variations in participants’ lived experiences of loneliness and intimacy in later life: lonelier with age; looking beyond the family for intimacy; family responses to loneliness; and coping with loneliness. Across all themes, women described loneliness primarily as an emotional and intimate experience rather than social isolation, consistent with Weiss’s distinction between emotional and social loneliness and supported by recent literature on aging and loneliness [22,42].

3.1. Lonelier with Age

Lonelier with age became a prominent theme when examining the women’s experiences as they age. The loss of social connections due to retirement, widowhood, the death of a loved one, divorce, or separation poses a significant risk for older individuals to feel lonely. Older adults often use subjective language to describe the loneliness they experience due to these losses. The women in this study expressed that loneliness equated to a lack of companionship and the inability to freely discuss personal concerns.

As the women became older, they felt lonely more often. Lumba, a 73-year-old participant who has never been married but has had past relationships, finds the experience of aging and being alone to be challenging. “I know I get lonely now that I’m older, but I try not to think about it, but it is hard.”

Similarly, Becky, a 73-year-old grandmother who worked part-time and hasn’t been in a committed relationship since her spouse died 15 years ago, openly admitted, “Yes, I am older, I am lonely, and I have feelings,” as she described her experience with loneliness.

All the women, regardless of how long they had been married, felt lonely. However, those who married young and later lost their spouses to death or divorce had a particularly difficult time adjusting to being single. Until old age, these women had never experienced true solitude, making it challenging for them to cope. For instance, Alice, who married at 18 and recently got divorced after five years, had never lived alone before.

This was a new and challenging experience for her “From when I left my parents’ home until I moved in with my spouse, I never lived alone.” She expressed her pride in her two children, with her eldest daughter having a guesthouse and her youngest daughter in her late twenties. Despite her close bond with her children, they didn’t alleviate her feelings of loneliness.

3.2. Emotional Loneliness Despite Social Presence

The women defined loneliness based on emotional connection instead of social isolation. Emmanuela, a 74-year-old widow, discussed her experience of feeling loneliness after her husband’s death, but not isolation. “After his death, I had no one in my life save the kids. And, well, there were times when I felt alone.” Emmanuela’s lack of a romantic partner left her feeling lonely despite her social connections, a sentiment shared by most women.

Paula (age 60) confessed that she was done with dating and had no interest in pursuing a new romantic partnership. Despite experiencing failed romances ever since her husband passed away when she was 25 years old, Paula admitted to feeling lonely without a male companion, although she no longer desired romantic relationships. She also mentioned longing to be part of an older couple every time she saw one, with her emotions becoming particularly intense.

“Sometimes I look at happy couples and wish it were me, but then I remind myself, “What the heck.” To avoid dwelling on it excessively, I distract myself with music. Since I am a human with feelings, I have always believed that the mind has superior control over the body.”

These women defined loneliness as a lack of close relationships. They struggled with loneliness in silence, mentioning the absence of support or systems that promote open conversation, resulting in internalized emotions. During the interview, Paula became overwhelmed when the subject was brought up. She confessed that not even her family knew about her loneliness because she never revealed it to them. The interview was paused as Paula became visibly distressed, underscoring the extent to which her loneliness had remained unexpressed. She was inconsolable as she recounted the death of her first and only true love at the age of 25. She admitted that she had never shared her complete sorrow with anyone, including her mother, siblings, or children. She requested to finish the interview once she had regained her composure after the unexpected outpouring of her emotions. Her emotional release exposed the extent to which she had suppressed her feelings of loneliness.

3.3. Looking Beyond Family for Intimacy and to Overcome Loneliness

All the women I interviewed possessed supportive families and networks of friends, which is quite common among black families with rich social connections [50]. Despite the abundance of social networks, the women were able to differentiate between isolation and emotional support. They recognized the distinction between the love and care they received from their families and the intimacy they would experience with a male companion. They conveyed that having a spouse or male companion provided greater emotional fulfillment compared to being the parent of adult children, as they could not establish the same level of intimacy with their children as they could with a partner. Two individuals from the study, Agnes and Emmanuella, serve as prime examples of this. Agnes continued to mourn her husband’s untimely passing even five years later, while living with her children. Although she described her children as wonderful, their love and kindness did not alleviate her sense of loneliness.

“There is no correlation between the number of people you live with and your level of loneliness. Like I said earlier, even though I live with my children and have people around me, I have been alone since he passed away. Since I was still alone, I continued to feel isolated. I want a romantic relationship with a man. Having a man in our lives isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s the kind of thing we both seem to enjoy, which led to my current relationship.”

This account illustrates that loneliness persisted despite co-residence with family and the presence of social support. Agnes distinguished between being surrounded by others and experiencing emotional and romantic intimacy, emphasizing that family relationships did not substitute for the companionship she associated with a romantic partner. Her narrative underscores how emotional loneliness can remain unresolved even within seemingly supportive living arrangements.

3.4. Emotional Selectivity in Later-Life Relationships

Despite strong family and community ties, participants emphasized that familial relationships could not substitute for romantic intimacy. Agnes noted, “My children love me, but it’s a different kind of love.” This selective pursuit of emotionally meaningful relationships reflects age-related motivational shifts described in Socioemotional Selectivity Theory. As the women grew older, most of them felt compelled to search for romantic partners to combat loneliness. Agnes admitted that she had previously found happiness and companionship through her interactions with men, which helped alleviate the pain of losing her husband. She revealed that after burying her love for her late spouse, she discovered it anew in her current relationship.

“It baffles me that I fell in love with a specific person; he made me happy for a while. I had a pleasant and joyful mood. To have a conversation with him was something I was looking forward to. For guidance, I always went to him. There was another responsible adult I could confide in if I felt sad. Someone was there to greet me with a friendly “How was work?” upon my return from the office, someone who took the time to get to know me personally. But they didn’t get it, my kids.”

Other women also experienced similar emotions. While they acknowledged the significance of family, they expressed that their relationships with their loved ones fell short of their expectations in terms of intimacy. In addition to the love and care they received at home, they desired closeness with someone else. They believed that the affection they received from their children and families could not compare to the joy and happiness of finding an intimate partner. Due to their longing for closeness, the comfort they derived from their children was likely inadequate.

3.5. Family Responses to Older Adults’ Loneliness

The ways in which the families of the women comforted them and understood their feelings of loneliness differed. While Emmanuela and Agnes’ loved ones recognized that they were lonely, other women had contrasting experiences. Those with a strong social network knew that their friends and family had noticed their loneliness and provided assistance. Becky’s children have asked her how she copes with being alone, and she has shared with them her approach of suppressing her loneliness so that it does not overwhelm her. She advised her children,

“It is not right to fixate on things that may never happen. Some individuals have a very low threshold for disappointment. For me, the important thing is to keep going.”

The women reported that their families acknowledged their inability to fulfill their parents’ need for companionship and encouraged them to establish new friendships. Lumba experienced this in her own responses.

“As I have no roommates, I’m sure my relatives also saw that. One of my nieces has always said, “She needs companionship. We don’t like it when she’s by herself.””

Some women shared that their loneliness evoked sympathy from their children, who recommended they go on a date. Listen to Agnes’s tale:

“Since my husband died five years ago, I have had zero interest in having sexual relations with men and have no desire to do so. Even though I never said anything about it, I think my kids understood that I was sad and lonely. Perhaps that’s why they asked me to track down a certain person. My children told me, “Mom, you have to go out; why don’t you go to christian.com or any of those websites; if you don’t know how to do it let me help you; maybe you get somebody.””

A few of women appreciate their family’s acknowledgment and assistance in dealing with their feelings of loneliness. However, Tamika, a strong and independent woman, does not share this sentiment. Despite her children’s concerns, she believes that she can manage her loneliness without their help.

“We don’t even talk about my emotional or sexual life so I just cut it off where I know it can’t go any farther. I’m not sure I’d want them to anyway because I value my privacy.”

Many other women lacked the same level of understanding and support from their loved ones. Despite wanting to discuss finding a companion to alleviate their loneliness, certain family members dismissed them and made jokes. These women face difficulties expressing themselves due to poor reception and societal expectations regarding old age and sexuality.

3.6. Coping with Loneliness

Having no one to confide in or discuss private matters with was identified as a major contributor to loneliness by the women in this study. When asked about their feelings regarding a lack of emotional connection, most individuals likened it to having no sexual activity whatsoever. Marie, now 69 years old, got married at a young age, 21, but her marriage ended after just 11 months. She has remained single for 50 years at the time of the interview and rarely goes on dates. It has been five years since her last date, and she acknowledged that the ensuing solitude was challenging to bear. Despite her earnest efforts, she frequently experiences loneliness despite maintaining a busy schedule. She provided further details,

“I visit galleries and theatre performances. No art form moves me more than music. In particular, I adore historical libraries. When I get home, there is no one there. I guess it would be good to go out with somebody and have sex or whatever you have with a partner.”

Participants’ discussions of loneliness frequently intersected with reflections on changes in sexual desire and experiences of physical closeness. Although physical intimacy was not a primary focus of the interview protocol, participants voluntarily raised issues related to sexual desire, physical intimacy, and its absence, which were closely intertwined with their experiences of loneliness, companionship, and emotional well-being. While not originally included in the interview guide, participants identified these topics as important to understanding their lived experiences.

The women used coping with loneliness interchangeably with coping with sexual urges. Despite having undergone menopause, many women still experienced sexual desire, as [51] outlined. The women dealt with them in a variety of ways. For some, sexual satisfaction came in the form of lovers. For Emmanuella, this was the case as she explained.

“Even though I’m not as sexually active as younger women, I still find it enjoyable. I like the closeness we have. To put it simply, I am a very tactile person. I get a rush every time I touch the dude. I enjoy the sense of closeness it gives me to you.”

Some individuals suppress their sexual urges when alone, believing that there is no point in indulging in such cravings. These women refer to the physiological effects of experiencing sexual impulses as temptation. The participants’ religious beliefs were found to be associated with a greater inclination to perceive sexual impulses as temptation. Rose, a 60-year-old widow who had been alone for 12 years, regularly attended church and resided in a New York suburb. During the interview, she discussed her methods of controlling sexual desire.

“You get it. Contrary to [inaudible]… Right now, I’m single, but I believe in God and what He says regarding sexuality. And since I am now single, I try to remind myself of this fact whenever I feel a little bit tempted [laughs]”.

Rose told me, “When temptation strikes, I take a hot-cold shower.” I urged her to elaborate. “Put that time to better use. Perform some running activity. It would help if you got some exercise. If you’re bored, do something different”.

3.7. Sexual Self-Expression and Stigma

As mentioned by Rose, most women took physical actions to manage their emotions. However, some of them were unable or unwilling to do so. They asserted that their desires were so intense that they turned to unconventional methods to satisfy them. Some people, like Sharon and Marie, resorted to sex toys as a relief, while others found relief in masturbation (i.e., Vicky, Sharon, and Mary). The few women who admitted to masturbating cited feelings of shame, guilt, and stigma despite its utility in satisfying sexual arousal.

When asked whether she continued to experience sexual desire at age 71, Vicky responded, “Of course I do.” When probed about how she managed those feelings, she explained, “To be honest, I masturbate sometimes. Occasionally I feel like it’s wrong… I feel like it’s sinful, so I refrain, but sometimes the need is so strong that I go for it.” Reflecting on age-related expectations, she added, “I never imagined a woman of this age would… Women don’t talk about it. You don’t discuss it with them because you’re frightened of being judged. Therefore those talks never happen”

Although Mary shared Vicky’s view that masturbation is both necessary and sinful, she defended its use and acknowledged that it can cause shame:

“Of course, It’s helpful to understand yourself and experience it internally. Still, it’s also beneficial to know yourself so that, if you do need someone, you feel comfortable expressing that with someone and saying things like, “Well, this is how satisfies me; this is what makes me feel good,” and similar items. However, we never stopped feeling bad about it, even when we were young.”

The conversations among women regarding masturbation were characterized by feelings of embarrassment and anxiety over judgment. Their conservative views on sex and reactions to masturbation may have been influenced by the social context in which they entered their sexual maturity. Due to family and social expectations, women’s sexuality was considered taboo, but some still saw masturbation as acceptable. The women openly reminisced about growing up with this sexual taboo, recalling a time when discussions about sexuality were deemed inappropriate in both polite company and within the family. Society could ostracize them for addressing these matters so openly. Despite the pervasive cultural influence on the lives of Black women, older Black women may continue to experience loneliness due to the inseparable association between sex and emotional intimacy [51,52].

4. Discussion

In the current study, I delved into the deeply personal experiences of older Black women navigating widowhood and singlehood. Each woman shared her unique and complex narrative, rich with individuality. Interpreted through the combined lenses of Social Constructionism [37], Socioemotional Selectivity Theory [39,40], Selective Optimization with Compensation [41], and Weiss’s typology of loneliness [42], these findings offer a nuanced understanding of loneliness as an emotionally grounded, socially situated, and culturally mediated experience.

In this study, emotional loneliness refers to the perceived absence of emotionally meaningful and intimate connection [15,23], whereas sexuality and sexual expression are examined as related—but analytically distinct—domains through which participants articulated unmet emotional needs [53,54]. While sexuality emerged organically in participants’ narratives as a site of meaning-making and emotional expression [55], the primary analytic focus remains on loneliness as an affective and relational experience rather than on sexuality as an independent construct [15,56]. These women not only contended with intense feelings of isolation but also recognized that combating solitude extended beyond familial support and closeness. Their stories revealed four key themes: feeling lonelier as they age, seeking intimacy and overcoming loneliness beyond the family, family responses to the loneliness of older adults, and strategies for dealing with loneliness. This scholarly work delves into these women’s intimate experiences with loneliness, casting light on how racism, gender inequality, socioeconomic status, and aging intertwine in this context.

The first theme, feeling lonelier as they age, captures the experiences of these women regarding loneliness and how it intensifies as they live alone or go without dating. Participants frequently described widowhood and long-term partner loss as central to their experience of loneliness in later life. The absence of a primary attachment figure reshaped daily routines, emotional regulation, and identity, intensifying feelings of emotional loneliness even among women with active family and social networks.

Structural inequities also shape relationship loss. Black women face disproportionately high exposure to widowhood, reflecting broader health disparities that shorten Black men’s lives. This structural reality can compound vulnerability to emotional loneliness by increasing the likelihood of partnered loss while simultaneously limiting socially sanctioned pathways for older women—particularly older Black women—to seek new intimacy or companionship [31].

Participants who had been partnered for decades—often since early adulthood—described a sharper transition into loneliness after loss or separation. For these women, long-term partnering shaped daily routines, identity, and emotional regulation; therefore, the absence of a primary attachment relationship in later life felt especially destabilizing, not because early marriage causes loneliness, but because prolonged partnership reduced prior experience of living independently or seeking new intimacy after loss.

Participants’ emphasis on sexual intimacy should be understood as the articulation of a normative unmet need that is frequently stigmatized in later life. Their willingness to name desire and physical closeness challenges dominant narratives that render older women’s sexual needs invisible or illegitimate. For many, stigma, shame, religious norms, and age-based stereotypes constrained open discussion, shaping how loneliness was privately managed and publicly silenced.

Viewed through a social constructionist lens, these findings illustrate how emotional loneliness in later life is produced not only through individual loss, but through structural inequalities and cultural norms that shape whose intimacy is recognized, supported, or silenced. Together, these dynamics help explain why family presence alone was insufficient to mitigate loneliness and why participants sought intimacy and companionship as meaningful responses to loss rather than as deviance from age-appropriate roles. All women reported experiencing loneliness, regardless of their marital or family status. Whether they lived with relatives or alone, they expressed feelings of loneliness. Even women who were recently widowed, separated, or divorced revealed their loneliness. However, women who had not been in a relationship for a long time believed that their lack of a partner exacerbated their loneliness.

Aging and feeling lonely was expressed as a challenge for participants. Aging brought about a sense of weakness, loss of social connections, and occasional financial struggles, and loneliness magnified these losses [9,12]. This may explain why these women viewed loneliness as challenging and sought interaction with others. Thus, loneliness drove some women to seek intimate and sexual relationships. Even women who were not dating reported feeling lonely.

Consistent with prior research, participants described loneliness as intensifying with age, particularly following widowhood, divorce, or prolonged singlehood. Importantly, loneliness was not defined by social isolation but by the absence of emotional and intimate connection. This finding aligns with Weiss’s concept of emotional loneliness, wherein individuals experience distress due to the lack of a close attachment figure rather than insufficient social contact [42].

From the perspective of Socioemotional Selectivity Theory, this emphasis on emotional closeness reflects age-related motivational shifts. As perceived time horizons narrow, older adults prioritize emotionally meaningful relationships over broader social engagement. The women’s narratives illustrate how emotional intimacy—particularly romantic and sexual intimacy—becomes increasingly salient in later life, rendering family and friendship ties insufficient substitutes. Consistent with literature on later-life relationships, some participants viewed dating as one strategy for reducing emotional loneliness by restoring companionship and intimacy. However, gendered patterns in later-life partnering shape these opportunities. Prior research suggests that men and women may experience and respond to loneliness differently in later life, including differences in social network composition and reliance on partners for emotional support [57]. In our study, participants’ narratives suggest that family and friendship ties—while meaningful—did not fully meet needs for emotional-intimate connection, contributing to interest in dating or companionship [11,53].

The theme of seeking intimacy and overcoming loneliness beyond the family underscores the fact that the women involved in this study placed lesser reliance on familial relationships for emotional intimacy and support in navigating their loneliness. Consequently, despite receiving backing from their families and friendships networks, these Black women continued to grapple with feelings of loneliness. Interestingly, even the presence of children fell short in sufficiently alleviating their loneliness, as the profound level of intimacy required surpassed what familial bonds alone could provide. Despite extensive kinship networks, participants expressed a desire for companionship that extended beyond familial relationships. While families provided care, support, and social interaction, they could not fulfill the women’s needs for emotional intimacy and romantic connection. This distinction underscores the limits of kin-based support in addressing emotional loneliness and challenges assumptions that strong family ties protect older Black women from loneliness [32,58,59]. These findings align with recent studies showing that emotional loneliness is more strongly associated with psychological distress and health risks in later life than social isolation alone [9,56].

These findings are consistent with SST [39,40], which suggests that emotionally meaningful bonds—rather than the sheer presence of others—are central to well-being in later life. Participants’ pursuit of romantic relationships reflects a selective investment in relationships perceived as emotionally rewarding, even when such pursuits conflicted with cultural norms surrounding aging, sexuality, and widowhood.

Research on dating in later life has shown that social connections are essential [21,57]. While Black women of all ages have more friends and acquaintances than any other group, they are more likely to date when they reach middle age because they desire something more from a partner than what friends and family provide [53]. Particularly acute feelings of loneliness may have afflicted these women due to most having married at a young age, engendering a yearning for sexual intimacy with men. A major reason for this is that the women feel the love they receive from their families differs from the level of intimacy provided by a male companion, which contributes to their loneliness. This observation stands in stark contrast with other research focused on older widows, which suggested that such individuals often internalize societal expectations to remain devoted to the memory of their deceased spouses [57,60,61], and find it difficult to envision a sexual life post-bereavement.

Their search for romantic involvement was rooted more in the pursuit of emotional bonds than transient liaisons, with an emphasis on securing long-lasting commitments over ephemeral connections [56]. This preference for depth over breadth in emotional engagement corresponds with insights provided by Fung, Carstensen, and Lang who examined social tendencies across age groups among European Americans and African Americans [39]. Additionally, it resonates with Lima’s et al. findings which suggested older women become more selective with their social engagements, prioritizing emotionally significant bonds over superficial ones [62]

Family responses to loneliness varied widely. Some families acknowledged the women’s emotional needs and encouraged companionship, while others minimized or dismissed these needs, often through humor or avoidance. These responses reflect broader social constructions of aging and sexuality that render older women’s desires invisible or inappropriate.

Through a social constructionist lens, these dynamics illustrate how cultural norms shape not only individual experiences of loneliness but also the social contexts in which such experiences are acknowledged—or silenced. The women’s reluctance to discuss loneliness and sexuality with family members underscores the persistence of stigma surrounding older women’s emotional and sexual lives.

The final theme, coping with loneliness, illustrates the strategies these women employed to manage their loneliness. Some women did not have effective coping mechanisms for loneliness. For example, some did not attempt dating as a means of coping following the death of their spouses. The coping strategies described by participants further align with Selective Optimization with Compensation [63]. Many women selectively disengaged from relationships they perceived as emotionally unfulfilling while maintaining or seeking high-quality intimate bonds. Others compensated for unmet emotional needs through religious practices, self-regulation, or sexual self-expression, including masturbation, despite feelings of shame or stigma. Viewed through a social constructionist lens, these experiences reflect how cultural narratives about aging, gender, and sexuality shape the expression and management of loneliness in later life.

SOC helps explain why reduced social interaction did not uniformly result in loneliness. Rather, loneliness emerged when emotional needs were unmet, regardless of social activity level. This finding reinforces the distinction between social and emotional loneliness and highlights the adaptive strategies older women employ to navigate aging-related constraints.

Some of the approaches that the women attempted to cope with loneliness were unsuccessful. The inability of women to deal with loneliness presents healthcare professionals and physicians with an opportunity to offer assistance. These women defined loneliness as a lack of close relationships. They struggled with loneliness silently, mentioning the absence of support or systems that encourage open conversation, which resulted in internalized emotions. Professionals should try to reach out to individuals like Paula, who couldn’t share their feelings of loneliness with family or friends but felt comfortable opening up to professionals like myself, a stranger yet someone she felt safe with to reveal her internalized emotions. These findings echo recent work highlighting the lack of supportive spaces for older adults to discuss emotional and sexual needs and the need for interventions that address emotional-intimate loneliness directly [64,65,66,67]. Concerted efforts are needed to extend these interventions to older adults in the community. Consider the health implications mentioned earlier regarding the risk of emotional loneliness, which has become a public concern. The women in this study emphasized loneliness in terms of emotional intimacy. These women’s narratives underscore the need to address this gap.

5. Limitations

Several limitations should be considered when interpreting these findings. First, the study is based on a relatively small qualitative sample, which is appropriate for in-depth phenomenological inquiry but limits the transferability of findings beyond similar contexts. The sample size was sufficient to achieve thematic depth but was not intended to support statistical generalization.

Second, although participants identified as Black women, they represented diverse backgrounds of African descent, including Caribbean and African origins. The analysis did not disaggregate findings by country of origin or migration history, which may shape norms surrounding intimacy, family support, and discussions of sexuality. While subgroup comparisons were beyond the scope of this study, participants’ narratives suggested meaningful within-group variation that warrants further investigation.

Third, the sample included older Black women with different marital histories, including widowed, divorced, and never-married participants. Although these groups share the experience of later-life singlehood, their pathways into and experiences of loneliness may differ. This study was not designed to compare subgroups by marital status, and future research could more explicitly examine how these distinctions shape loneliness and coping.

Fourth, participants were primarily drawn from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, which may influence access to resources, housing arrangements, healthcare, and opportunities for companionship. As such, findings may not fully reflect the experiences of higher socioeconomic status older Black women, whose social and material contexts may differ.

Fifth, the sample included only older, heterosexual Black women, limiting the applicability of findings to those with different sexual orientations or partnership configurations. Experiences of loneliness, intimacy, and coping may differ for sexual minority older adults, whose perspectives were not captured here. Because physical intimacy was not systematically assessed through direct questioning, the findings related to sexual and physical intimacy reflect participants’ voluntary disclosures rather than comprehensive accounts. As such, these findings should be interpreted as illustrative rather than exhaustive and point to the need for future research that more explicitly examines physical intimacy and sexuality among older Black women.

Finally, data were collected at a single point in time and reflect participants’ experiences within a specific moment in the life course. Loneliness and coping strategies may evolve across stages of widowhood, dating, or aging. Additionally, as with most qualitative interview studies, participants self-selected into the research and may differ from those less willing to discuss loneliness or intimacy.

Despite these limitations, this study offers novel insights by centering older, unmarried, and widowed Black women’s perspectives on emotional loneliness and intimacy—domains that remain understudied in later-life research. By foregrounding eroticism and emotional-intimate needs, the study extends intersectional and feminist scholarship and highlights important directions for future research on within-group heterogeneity among older Black women.

Implications for Practice

Taken together, these findings underscore loneliness as an emotionally complex and relational phenomenon that cannot be addressed solely through increasing social contact or expanding social networks. For older single and widowed Black women, loneliness is deeply intertwined with emotional intimacy, sexuality, and culturally mediated expectations of aging. Although many participants reported strong family and community connections, loneliness persisted when emotional and intimate needs were unmet, highlighting that loneliness is not synonymous with living alone or social isolation. Women living with others were equally vulnerable when meaningful emotional connection was absent.

These findings have important implications for healthcare and social service practice. Given established links between loneliness, depression, and suicide in later life, clinicians should routinely assess emotional loneliness as part of regular care, even among older adults who appear socially connected. Screening approaches should move beyond household composition or frequency of social interaction to include emotional and relational dimensions of well-being. Healthcare providers and social service professionals must also create safe, nonjudgmental spaces in which older Black women can openly discuss intimacy, sexuality, and emotional needs—topics that are often stigmatized or dismissed in later life.

At the community and intervention level, the findings point to a clear need for programs that explicitly address emotional-intimate needs rather than relying solely on network-based or activity-focused solutions. Community-based initiatives that normalize conversations about aging, desire, loss, and companionship may help reduce stigma and encourage older Black women to speak more openly about their experiences. Peer support models led by older Black women themselves may be particularly effective, as shared lived experience can foster trust, validation, and collective meaning-making, thereby promoting healthier coping and emotional well-being.

Given the central role of spirituality and faith in many participants’ lives, partnerships with faith-based institutions represent an important opportunity to address loneliness while honoring spiritual values. Such collaborations may help reduce religious stigma surrounding sexuality in later life while offering culturally congruent sources of support. Educational resources designed for older adults and their families are also needed to challenge ageist assumptions that dismiss sexual desire and emotional intimacy as inappropriate in later life and to help families better understand and support widowed or single relatives who seek companionship or new relationships.

Finally, these findings have implications for intervention development and future research. Programs aimed at reducing loneliness among older adults should explicitly evaluate whether emotional and intimate needs are being addressed, rather than focusing exclusively on increasing social participation. Dating or companionship programs tailored for older adults may offer meaningful pathways to connection when designed in ways that respect autonomy, cultural context, and safety. In addition, future research and program evaluation should incorporate intimacy-sensitive measures of loneliness, particularly when working with older Black populations, to ensure that assessments capture emotional and relational dimensions often overlooked in conventional loneliness scales.

6. Conclusions

This study contributes to a deeper understanding of loneliness as an emotionally and socially constructed experience among older single and widowed Black women. By centering women’s own narratives, the findings challenge deficit-based and ageist assumptions and highlight the importance of intimacy, meaning, and relational connection in later life. Future research should continue to foreground older Black women’s voices in examining how loneliness shapes health, well-being, and aging across diverse social contexts.