A Critical Evaluation of the Impact of “After Tears” Parties on the Funeral Traditions of the Vatsonga in Limpopo—A South African Traditional Perspective

Abstract

Death is a universal phenomenon, defined by the rituals associated with it and conducted within the confines of the culture to which the deceased belonged; thus, it is nearly impossible to universalise a particular mourning pattern, as African people display considerable diversity. The complexities introduced into African mourning by colonialism and other developmental changes, such as urbanisation and the recent COVID-19 pandemic, have relegated many African traditions in relation to bereavement to the periphery. A newer and controversial practice associated with funerals conducted among black communities in South Africa is that of the “after tears” party. Although this practice has not yet infiltrated the rural areas, it is nevertheless a phenomenon that is worth investigating, seeing that those who participate in this practice are predominantly from townships in Gauteng, and such events are gradually occurring in the rural villages as well.

1. Introduction

Many African scholars have argued that disciplines like psychology are responsible for promoting Euro-Western bereavement practices at the expense of African ways of mourning (Kubler-Ross 1969; Stroebe et al. 1993). While African ways of knowing were being displaced, the Western mind was centralising Euro-Western thought and knowledge. This shift was made intentionally to prove the notion that Africa was a tabula rasa before the arrival of the colonialists. As a result of this shift, foreign cultures found a space in which they could manipulate African ways of burying the dead and how loved ones should be mourned.

Research suggests that many African people have lost their identity and the true practice of their culture, that is, they have become mere shadows of what they once were (Baloyi 2020). A simple observation of the current practices associated with death and funerals reveals considerable changes compared with the way in which African people used to bid farewell to their loved ones. These changes have unquestionably had many effects on the culture and identity of most Africans, including the Vatsonga people, who are the focus of this case study.

The “after tears” parties, often referred to simply as “after tears”, are one of the ongoing practices taking place at funerals in black townships in South Africa (Setsiba 2012). Due to the scarcity of written documentation, it is rather difficult to pinpoint the exact date of origin of the “after tears” practice. What can be stated with reasonable confidence is that there no evidence that indicates that the “after tears” existed during the late 1980s. It is also not easy to locate the tribe within which it is practiced; however, most available writings indicate that it began as a movement in the early 1990s (Abruzzini 2017; Ngoepe 2016). What is apparent is that this phenomenon is not confined to a particular ethnic group, and it should not be viewed as a practice that has been adopted by everyone or every African. Little academic research into these parties has been conducted; they usually take place after burials in black townships in Gauteng (Setsiba 2012). It is, however, hoped that the research reported on in this article will shed further light on this phenomenon.

The structure of this article will begin with the identification of the problem and the method of study. The background will introduce the rise of the “after tears” parties. Because of the limited literature available on this topic, the literature review presented will be brief in scope. This will pave the way for the traditional leader’s point of view, which will be broadened by qualitative findings from questionnaires and some narrations that emanated from such a discourse. The psycho-theological discussion will lead to advice on a way forward and further guidelines before the closing remarks are made.

2. Problem Statement

The SABC Munghana Lonene FM Programme, “Gongomela”, recently discussed the following topic: “Xana mhaka leyi ya after tears lomu minkosini ya amuleka kumbe e-e, na swona hikokwalaho ka yini (“Is the practice of “after tears” accommodated or accepted in our communities, and why?”). Coincidentally, this topic was also raised at a meeting of the Congress of Traditional Leaders of South Africa (herein referred to as CONTRALESA), a political formation that brings together traditional authorities, like chiefs and headmen, and, among other things, advocates for the protection of cultural heritage; they expressed deep concern about this practice. That this topic is being discussed at this level is an indication that it is a community problem confronting various cultural groups. The essence of this discussion was to suggest the importance of interrogating the contestations that surround this practice, which is predominantly happening in black townships but also slowly occurring in rural areas. It has become critical for cultural change advocates, traditional custodians, and communities at large to engage with this topic. The problem this article aims to address is the matter of how “after tears” infringes on the solemnity, dignity and respect that is characteristic of these occasions. The issue that people, especially those who follow traditional rites and practices, have with “after tears” is the question of its origin and how it became part of black people’s practice, and if there is a need for it among some rural black communities. What is its impact on people and their cultural beliefs, and how does it preserve culture? Lastly, this paper investigates whether this impact produces a positive outcome for cultural change within the community

3. Literature Review

The difficult part about finding academic sources that examine “after tears” parties is that these celebrations are a new phenomenon and limited to a relatively small section of the population, notably certain sectors of people, especially in black townships. Some African authors who have investigated this new practice include Kgatle and Segalo (2021), who provided a brief psycho-theological analysis of the phenomenon. Mabasa and Makhubele (2020) did not directly address “after tears” as a concept; however, their research indicates how the shift from quiet and solemn African funerals has been undermined and compromised by drunkards and noise. Though it is not specifically labelled “after tears”, the behaviour that contemporary youth display at African funerals echoes the intentions and idea of “after tears” practices and is criticised by many African scholars like Maboea (2002), Mahlangu (2016), Ngubane (2004), Magudu (2004), Setsiba (2012), and Ngoepe (2016). Happy Setsiba argues that the party hurts the bereaved family and chances of recovery from grief (Setsiba 2012), while Letsosa (2010) and Lukhele (2016) say it is perceived by some as disrespectful.

Bopape (1995) emphasises the dignity and respectful behaviour that must be shown during funerals from the Basotho perspective and provides a strong cultural perspective that is relevant to the study. Some of rituals discussed are disposition of the corpse, washing of the corpse and taking it from mortuary to homestead, speaking to the deceased on the way to the graveside, shaving of hair, etc.

It is generally accepted that culture and tradition occupy a central position in African funeral proceedings. Nkosi et al. (2019) argue that culture largely dictates the quiet and solemn behaviour that is expected of those attending a funeral. Nkosi et al. (2019) discuss appropriate clothing and other behaviours and investigate a few issues that are also related to the “after tears” phenomenon. Their study was also based on qualitative interviews, since literature on the topic of funerals is very scarce. Radzilani (2010) presents a discussion on the clothing worn during the period of mourning, stating that black garments indicate mourning and invite sympathy from other people following the loss of a spouse (or a loved one, for that matter) (Radzilani 2010). Bopape (1995) focused on the Bapedi to show how the church, through its pastoral services, provides comfort to bereaved families, while Selepe and Edwards (2008) provide a communal perspective, where the bereaved family is supported by the community. The value of social support has been echoed by other scholars (Yawa 2010; Shiino 1997; Maloka 1998; Magudu 2004). Though it does not cover the topic of “after tears”, the study by Mokhutso (2019) on traditional burial rituals in Mamelodi township also deserves to be mentioned, as it does offer information about African funerals in a particular context. Cleansing rituals by use of herbs, putting on grass necklaces, and shaving hair are some of the rituals amongst the Batswana people (Mokhutso 2019; Tshoba 2014).

Setsiba (2012), however, deals specifically with “after tears” parties, finding that these originated among gangsters and taxi drivers and that they were conceived to appeal to young people (Setsiba 2012).

Manenzhe (2007) and Letsosa (2010) both mention the “after tears” phenomenon in their studies, while Kgatle and Segalo (2021) also mention it briefly, although their research was focused mainly on the psychoanalysis of grief during the COVID-19 pandemic.

A general view is that if “after tears” parties are allowed in African culture, then the identity, respect, and dignity that the African funeral deserves will fade away (Baloyi and Musili 2025). The study by Lukhele (2016, p. 32) also indicates that South Africans have become a depressed society because, instead of mourning a death, we switch to celebrating as if nothing happened. The word “disrespectful” in the context of a funeral was also used by the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who was condemning the conduct of South African mourners during memorial services for the late former President Nelson Mandela (Rumbold 2014).

4. Method and Demarcation of the Study

This research study is based on a mixed-methods design, which includes a conventional research approach (such as traditional storytelling), a qualitative questionnaire, and face-to-face individual interviews. The questionnaire was circulated among thirty (30) traditional leaders, with twenty-six (26) out of the thirty (30) completing and returning the forms to the principal investigator. The research participants were traditional leaders of villages around Malamulele, a town within the Collins Chabane Municipality, which lies between Mozambique and Zimbabwe in the north-eastern part of South Africa. All these traditional leaders are members of CONTRALESA (the Congress of Traditional Leaders of South Africa). The dominant ethnic group in this area are the Vatsonga, who speak Xitsonga.

Questionnaires were administered to and structured recorded interviews were conducted with traditional leaders via the tribal offices in Collins Chabane Municipality in 2023. These questionnaires were distributed to traditional leaders on 30 March 2023 and collected within three weeks. All rules and protocols of ethical research, according to University of South Africa research policies, were followed, and the data is now protected within the research group, which is continuing to write articles from the data collected.

Traditional leaders are often called “chiefs”, and they each have their own royal councils, which serve as their advisors. From the 30 questionnaires distributed, 26 were completed by the traditional leaders together with their royal councils. Within the context of South Africa, they are also understood to be the custodians of different cultures within their respective ethnic groups.

Prior to the enforcement by the apartheid government of the Bantustan system, in the late 1960s, some of the Vatsonga people lived with the Vhavenda, which accounts for several cultural similarities between the two groups. Most of the people who reside in the area are impoverished and live in a rural setting. The research approach taken opened the possibility of gathering stories, life experiences, and meanings, as it allowed for narratives to be analysed and the impact of what was discussed to be understood (Datta 2018).

The batch of questionnaires distributed to the members of traditional leadership featured questions 8 and 9, and the follow-up interviews featured questions 1.4. and 1.7, detailed as follows.

Question 8: What is your opinion about loud music or other celebrations when, at the same time, there is a funeral is being conducted on your land?

Question 9: What is your opinion about the “after tears” party at the funerals in your village?

Question number 1.4. How do you take it when young children attend funerals and are even allowed to see or view the body of the deceased?

Question number 1.7: How do you feel about this new tradition, called ‘after tears”? Explain how it may feel for the bereaved family that parties are held after their funerals in your village as a traditional leader.

These are the questions that received attention, and the findings will be discussed later in this article.

Although parties and celebrations often include the consumption of alcohol, playing of loud music, and exuberant behaviour, this article wants to consider these elements within the context of an “after tears” party at a funeral. A desktop reading and clips of some media talk shows on the topic of “after tears” were added as secondary sources. It is the aim of this study to find out the views of the black people living in the rural areas of South Africa on “after tears” and whether they feel it should be incorporated into their culture. Another question regarding this practice is why these events are mostly held in the streets (instead of in the homes of the deceased) and if this is acceptable or not.

5. A Brief Background on African Funerals and the Rise of “After Tears” Parties

For the purpose of this study, the author confines the perspectives and perceptions of this study to two small tribal groups in Limpopo, especially in traditional villages, where the traditional leaders are still regarded as custodians of culture, though this should not be interpreted as an admission that everyone in those villages conforms to these beliefs. These are areas where death and dying are still feared and respected, related taboos are upheld, and rituals are observed in this regard. The norm in the villages is that from the time of the announcement of the death to the burial, the households in the village go into mourning, and the focus will be on respect for the dead and funeral preparations. For a week, prayers and communal support are offered, while the body is kept in the mortuary. When burying, several traditional practices, taboos, and rituals are often observed. If some of the traditionally agreed-upon practices are not observed, the family may be penalised by the traditional leaders; for instance, if the burial does not take place at the agreed-upon time, the family will be subjected to some penalties.

So, should a village member pass away, all activities would stop, and those related to the deceased would ask for leave from work to go home (in the case of migrant workers) to prepare for the burial of their family member. Baloyi (2014) and Pauw (1975) report that even if a party or wedding had been planned beforehand, the death of a family member or a close relative would result in the cancellation or postponement of the celebration to allow everyone to come together and mourn.

It is believed that if the traditional and cultural prescriptions and rituals are followed, another death can be averted, so that it may not come again to the family concerned. There is a saying in Tsonga, “Laha ndlati yi nga ba kona yi tlhela yi vuya” (Unisa 2022), which translates to “Where lightning has struck, it may come back to strike again”. This could be interpreted to mean that where death strikes, it could come back and strike the same family again. Accordingly, most of the rites practised aim to prevent this from happening. Jindra and Noret (2011) observe that before the present changes, the traditional hierarchies—involving chiefs and elders—had the power to control and regulate public events, such as funerals and the rites associated with them, within the traditional confines of their respective localities.

Death has always been regarded as bringing contamination or bad luck to a family, the removal of which requires certain rituals. When death has struck, the whole family is seen to be vulnerable to bad luck if prescribed rules and rituals are not followed. This bad luck is often termed “black aura”, which is believed to descend upon a family that has lost one of its members. In the words of Msomi (2008, p. 101), “[m]isfortune and black aura is always what Africans try to deal with when death comes to visit them”. For the deceased to rest well or go well, the funeral must be conducted according to the rites and rituals set out by the family or even of the village. Nwoye (2000, p. 66) explains:

Our people have the conviction that when people participate in honouring or making well the exit and funeral ceremony of others, they pave the way for being equally honoured by those who survive their own exit. Therefore, everyone is affected and involved in the funeral, doing whatever they are expected to do. Death is a communal ritual, and no one must isolate themself because, when death comes to their family in the future, they will expect the same support.

As culture has evolved over time, and because of the impact of urbanisation and other developments, these traditional practices have been influenced by these changes, “after tears” being one example. Such changes have come about at funerals in black townships but can also be seen slowly creeping into the traditional villages, where they clash with traditional ways of dealing with death.

Although Africans view death as a solemn event, to which a restrained response is appropriate, the so-called “after tears” party—particularly in urban townships—seems to have gained popularity (Setsiba 2012, pp. 42–43). Setsiba (2012, p. 47) notes:

Societies are continuously faced with pressures to change some of their traditional practices in efforts to improve quality of life. These benefits cannot be accomplished without displacing some entrenched customs and introducing new social organizations and technologies.

From the quotation, the introduction to and interaction with other cultures, values, etc, have contributed to shifts in traditionally held views.

Bopape (1995) suggests that practices, such as “after tears” parties, represent a combining of African, Western and religious traditions as part of the mourning process. Abruzzini (2017) describes “after tears” parties as occasions to drink, listen to music, and fondly remember a loved one who has recently passed away and has been buried. However, these parties have come to be events characterised by loud music, dancing, the consumption of alcohol, smoking, and other forms of rowdy behaviour. Thus, specifically, young people arrive in flashy cars to attend funerals and, immediately after the funeral “tea” or reception (a meal shared among the mourners after they have buried the deceased), they open up their car boots and take out cooler boxes full of alcoholic drinks and armchairs to start drinking and partying precisely where the funeral has been conducted just a few hours earlier. The practice is commonly engaged in by young people, with the older generation taking a critical view of it. The young people attending the “after tears” may dress provocatively and engage in inappropriate behaviours, such as the spinning of cars and the discharging of firearms, on the strength of the claim that the deceased would enjoy these activities. These echo situations described by Mabasa and Makhubele (2020) in their investigation into the negative consequences of mporosi (traditional beer drinking) at funerals.

Gone are the days when funerals were regarded as a ceremony to mourn and remember the life of the lost loved one. The increasing popularity of “after tears” means that funerals have turned into events involving partying and drinking after the burial (Ngoepe 2016). This runs completely counter to the established trend of demonstrating respect for both the deceased and the grieving family, ensuring that they bid their loved one a dignified farewell. Traditionally, graves and cemeteries were respected, and it was believed that you could not walk about in a graveyard unless evil spirits had brought you there. This was literally taken from the Bible, in Mark 5:2, where a mad or spirit possessed man lived or came from the tombs to Jesus. Now people have lost that sense of humility, as we see a trend of videorecording at gravesites. Older people find this phenomenon hard to comprehend, with many saying that the tradition of burying their loved ones with dignity has been lost (Ngoepe 2016).

Dolly Matau (63 years old) of Ga-Rankuwa, interviewed by News24, explained that when she was growing up, funerals were carried out with respect, dignity, humility and honour. In her words,

[F]unerals in our time used to be respected immensely, as it was a sad period for the family in question. Neighbours and close friends in the streets would be considerate and avoid meeting friends in the streets and avoid making noise and disturbing the family during mourning.

(Abruzzini 2017)

Abruzzini (2017) states that, customarily, people would wait until a week after the funeral before drinking alcohol and, even then, it would be traditional beer. During those times, it would have been considered shameful for people to engage in activities such as “after tears”. However, people hold a variety of views regarding “after tears” celebrations. Zeeman (2019) quotes a female interviewee stating that the idea of celebrating after the funeral does not bring comfort to the family but is rather simply an excuse to get drunk. By contrast, a 28-year-old male disagreed, stating that he saw nothing wrong with celebrating the life of the dead person, although he did feel that the current generation behaves excessively during these celebrations. He expressed the view that such excess is culturally and morally unacceptable as, nowadays, it seems to be just another excuse to get drunk (Zeeman 2019).

Baloyi (2014) mentions that in the past, the African spirit of ubuntu was promoted by the sharing of a meal, regardless of whether the event being marked was painful or celebratory. This explains why funerals end with people feasting together when they return from the cemetery. It is within the framework of ubuntu that Mouton (2014) and Wilkinson (1980) agree that human beings are understood in terms of how they relate to one another. The pain experienced by the bereaved family will one day be experienced by another family, and supporting one another is therefore crucial. It also implies that if a person misbehaves during the funeral of a neighbour, they need to be warned, because someone may treat them equally disrespectfully on a similar occasion in the future. This is life in a community, and it is emphasised that you are expected to treat others as you yourself expect to be treated.

Kuhlmann (2021, p. 1), in discussing mourning practices among the Batswana, states that

Funerals used to be a sad and solemn occasion for the bereaved family. Neighbours and close friends tip-toed around the homestead dealing with the loss; avoiding making noise and disturbing the family during mourning. Televisions and radios were switched off and people would not come and go as they pleased in the family’s yard as a sign of respect for the occasion. In addition, the entire family of the deceased would not be allowed to venture out of the homestead after sunset. Fast forward to today and everything has changed.

There is, therefore, unquestionably a difference in the way that young people and older people view practices relating to bereavement and burial, with older people generally considered to be custodians of culture and tradition. Thus, practices such as “after tears” have the potential to divide and fragment communities, since they do not have the sanction of most senior traditional people.

6. A View from the Traditional Leadership

African people have traditionally viewed funerals as solemn, quiet and dignified events, with the bereaved family being supported by the entire village and neighbourhood and being afforded the time to go quietly through their mourning period without any disturbance. This is because death, on its own, regardless of whether the deceased was young or old, is so painful that it can lead to the loss of hope for the future on the part of the bereaved family (Kgatle 2020). Among the Vatsonga, leaders would announce the death of one of their villagers with the words “Ku weriwa hi papa ra ntima” (Baloyi 2014), which translates to “A dark cloud has drawn or befallen over the people”.

In most cases, following the announcement of a death, any kind of planned celebratory event would be suspended until after the burial so as to ensure that the entire community is available to support the bereaved family. It was reported by the majority of the village leaders who participated in the study that it is for this reason that there are specific times allocated for the burial to be held. If the bereaved family did not adhere to the process, by completing the burial within the prescribed time limits, there would be penalties, because it was only after the burial that the rest of the community would be allowed to go ahead with their planned celebrations or events. In most instances, it is a contravention of the village agreement to be found at the graveside after 10:00 on the day of the burial. Baloyi (2014) reports that a pastor was once told to stop a congregational conference in a particular village and to adhere to the prescription or pay a penalty.

Although the practice of “after tears” has not been adopted in many rural villages under traditional leaders, most of these leaders are not in favour of this practice, based on their knowledge of the way these youth-led parties are conducted within the urban context of black townships. There is enough research evidence to make the case that the practice of “after tears” is problematic. With the observance of the “after tears” practice, there seems to be little difference between a funeral and an ordinary celebration or party. Lukhele (2016) sees the practice as nothing more than an opportunity for the youth to consume alcoholic beverages and behave inappropriately, while Letsosa (2010) declares it to be disrespectful within the context of a funeral. Without undermining the need for culture to be dynamic and change with the times, it can nevertheless be argued that cultural modifications and changes should not be used as an excuse to diminish the identity of African people.

Participants were virtually unanimous in their condemnation of these practices, with some even indicating that practices of this nature would result in penalties being paid to the local traditional leadership should they take place within their villages. During follow-up data collection, the same 26 responses were against the practice of “after tears”, except for the 2 who indicated they are not sure, since they still need to observe the practice closely.

Out of the 30 tribal authorities (CONTRALESA tribal offices), represented by no less than 5 participants each, 96% of the respondents expressed their views by using phrases and words like leyi i mihlolo (“this is a taboo”), nkosi na ntsako a swi hlangani (“funerals and parties do not mix”), ahi tsaki eankosini kambe hi rila mufi (“we do not celebrate, but mourn”), and mintlangu ayi pfumleriwi hi nkarhi wa nkosi (“we do not allow parties during funerals”). The overall sentiment is that the bereaved family must have solemn time to process the passing of their loved one. It was evidenced that, in some villages, some attending “after tears” were penalised for playing loud music while there was a funeral in the neighbourhood. One leader indicated that it is an agreement that, before the burial is completed, no other partying event is allowed in the whole village. This view of death as a mystery that requires all people to come together and participate in this solemn and contemplative process together has also been observed by some African scholars (Baloyi 2014; Maboea 2002; Tjibeba 1997).

The expressions recorded verbatim below serve as a summary of the responses of 25 of the 26 participants, who expressed themselves in the strongest possible terms. The responses in Xitsonga are given first, followed by their translations into English: mihlolo, huwa a yi pfumeleriwi ku fikela nkosi wu hundza, swi bihile ngopfu, gome na Ntsako a swi fambisani, muti wa ha ri na gome lerikulu. Huwa a yi fambisani na Ntsako, Kutani loyi a endlaka huwa ange vi wa le nkosini (“It is a taboo”; “Noise is not allowed until the funeral is over”; “It’s very bad”; “Sorrow and happiness are not friends”; “Someone who is making a noise cannot be a mourner at the same time”).

The traditional leaders saying that “this is a taboo and should not be allowed” indicates that there is a contestation or a problem with the practice of “after tears” in the community. According to Abruzzini (2017),

An “after tears” party is a time to drink, listen to music and fondly remember a loved one who died. Some parties are relatively subdued, with only a handful of guests telling stories about their most treasured memories. Others are loud and boisterous, bordering on disrespectful. Since this is a relatively new tradition, details vary depending on the hosts.

The author acknowledges the diversity of African tribes, some of whom would celebrate and dance during funerals. Galdade (2018) reported on the dances at funerals among the Mali Dagon people and some Ghanaian tribes.

As for this study, the focus on the South African context is that death is a quiet time, in which even listening to the radio or watching TV is taboo during the mourning period. Any sign of celebratory mood is regarded as undermining the bereaved family’s pain as well as an attempt to destroy the communalism that ensures the village’s solidarity during one family’s loss.

Abruzzini (2017) sees the decision of young people to hold “after tears” parties as a direct violation of the observance of solemnity and silence and the rule about not socialising that the older generation seeks to preserve for their funerals. The author proposes that this practice drives a wedge between older and younger generations of African families and communities during funerals. If, during a funeral, a family is expected to be united in grief, as indicated by one Baloyi (2014), then the “after tears” party—which does not have the sanction of all members of the family and the community—is the cause of a great deal of disunity and, therefore, merits research, albeit in acknowledgement of the fact that the need to maintain culture and tradition in a democratic situation requires many compromises (Setsiba 2012).

7. The Impact of “After Tears” on the Bereaved Family

The Munghana Lonene SABC programme, entitled Gongomela, discussed the relevance of the “after tears” parties of the people within the context of the Tsonga-speaking people, led by Mr Nkwinika Russel. Even though I began listening in the second hour, many of the callers were very critical and discouraging of the practice, citing issues of culture and respect and allowing for a peaceful funeral and mourning period. They indicated that most of those who come for the “after tears” do not inform the bereaved family but come as friends or colleagues of the deceased and, immediately after funeral and having a meal with family, open their car boots and start drinking and dancing, thus turning the funeral into a party (SABC, Munghana 2025).

It cannot be denied that secularisation and Christianity have, in one way or another, played a role in the decline of the seriousness with which death or the fear of death is treated. Because of the advent of modernity, the popularisation of secularism was internalised, not only in different disciplines but in traditional and religious life itself. Arora (2013) collected some different philosophical contestations about whether religion came in because of death or not (Ebersole 2005); however, despite delving into those differences, the overarching idea is that religion and death have worked together for a long time now, regardless of the point at which death was culturally defined and conceptualised (Baloyi and Makombe-Rabothata 2014). As secularisation pushed Africans from communalism to individualism, it prompted new ways of dealing with grief, and “after tears” might just be one modern way of dealing with grief. The fear and respect that African people used to have for death and dying has left them, because secularisation and Christianity have exposed people to death in so many ways; for instance, traditionally, young people were not allowed to see the dead body or even be close to the household where there is a funeral. For most South African traditional people, especially Tsonga and Venda people, children from the family of the deceased were taken elsewhere until the funeral was over.

It can be noted that during the Age of Enlightenment in the 18th century, the movement called for the “liberation of man from self-imposed tutelage”, which played a role in capacitating human beings to rationally reduce fear or doubt (Arora 2013). In the twentieth century, the plastination of human bodies, which involved ornamentation and putting the bodies on display, was popularised, despite being religiously contested. Traditionally, African deaths are mourned and not celebrated. For Du Toit (2009), human fear of death and the superstitions around it prompted churches and people (including young people) to creatively come up with other coping mechanisms.

Although everyone grieves differently, Abruzzini (2017) agrees that death of a loved one causes stress, and that this extends to younger people, and friends, colleagues and siblings of the deceased. This usually happens during the early stages of loss, which O’Connor (2019, p. 5) characterises as “acute”:

Acute grief, or the period immediately following a death, is often characterized by a loss of regulation. This can be observed as increased intensity and frequency of sadness, anger and/or anxiety, and emotional numbness and difficulty concentrating, in addition to dysregulation in sleep and appetite.

During this phase, most young people seek refuge in doing something else to deal with stress. This explains why, in the past, the African tradition did not condone young people and immature people attending funerals.

Keyes et al. (2014) identify a long list of disorders, including PSTD and mental health problems, associated with the unexpected death of a loved one. Among these disorders, there is a special mention of mood disorder, coupled with anxiety and alcohol use disorders. This may explain the behaviour of the youth who participate in the “after tears” parties in South Africa: their main purpose could be to drink and try to forget what has happened. The question to ask then is whether this behaviour can be considered to have therapeutic value, helping the mourner to carry on with life (Makatu et al. 2008).

Since this practice is relatively new in South Africa, it remains to be seen whether its effect will outlast and replace the existence of grieving and other therapeutic methods of healing. Setsiba (2012) questions whether “after tears” does indeed qualify as a coping mechanism for the loss of a deceased friend or family member. Mahlangu (2016) cautions that, regardless of the growth of this practice in black townships, many older people are disgusted by it, and he calls it barbaric and un-African because, if “after tears” is a type of party, it is in direct opposition to the African funeral tradition, which is marked by solemnity. African people did not previously uphold the concept of “celebrating the dead”. Following the death of a loved one, African people do not subscribe to the notion of the celebration of a life well lived, as discussed by Milne (2022).

Lechman (2023) argues that some people seek spaces such as a riverbank or park in which to hold such “after tears” celebrations. It is also possible that young people confuse the new concept of “celebrating death” with partying, hence “after tears” parties. Setsiba (2012) asks whether, considering the advent of the “after tears” party, the church or religion still has a role to play in assisting mourners or bereaved families to cope with death. Similarly, Ngubane (2004) sees the self-alienation of black people from their culture as being the outcome of modernity, progress, civilisation and other forms of development. Urbanisation also has a role to play.

From a psychological point of view, one could argue that the emergence of “after tears” celebrations represents a type of moral rebellion. Resistance by young people to the tradition of quiet mourning and their preference for the practice of “after tears” cannot be simply explained as a new culture, particularly since people are aware that this is against the established African tradition as it relates to mourning. Rather, it is a form of resistance to what culture is all about. In their article “Moral rebels”, Sonntag and Wadian (2022) consider how the tendency to be a moral rebel develops. In most cases, moral rebels rely on their own intuition; they are ignorant of dissenting opinions, or they ignore them (Sonntag and Barnet 2013; Alzola 2015; Sonntag and Wadian 2022). They do this with the idea of trying to avoid any threat to their behavioural freedom. The context of the youth and young adults, as identified by Sonntag and Barnet (2013), is relevant in the context of “after tears” in South African townships.

The risk of division among members of the bereaved family is evident. If not all members of the family and clan sanction the “after tears” practice, then there will clearly be a difference of opinion between the older people who reject it and the young people who choose to implement it. However, traditionally, death has been seen as an event that brings a black family and community together, rather than driving them apart. In the words of Setiloane (1989, p. 9):

Every person is related to one another. These relationships, by blood, by marriage or by mere association, are emotionally seated and cherished dearly. This becomes evident where a need arises, like some tragedy (a death) or occasion for rejoicing.

Maboea (2002) echoes this, arguing that nothing rivals death as a factor that encourages the African community to come together and to be constantly on guard together. We must ask whether self-alienation of Africans from their own socio-cultural background, because of modernity, civilisation and other urbanisation processes, will indeed influence how they mourn (Setsiba 2012).

There is often a clash between what “after tears” entails and the pastoral messages that the church conveys to the bereaved family during the week of mourning. Even though there is not much thought about death and children from a biblical point of view, some evidence shows that death, the funeral procession, and the mourning period were all respected, in order to enable elderly people to have solemn time to process the death. An example of the expectation of culture is when David was to mourn his son, who died after a long illness. It is written in 2 Samuel 12: 20–21 that

David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. 21 His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”

The ancient Middle-Eastern cultural convictions provided that death, a funeral procession and the mourning period were all considered solemn and quiet traditions; therefore, all forms of joyous celebrations were strictly avoided and forbidden. In the book of John 11: 71–41 read of the presence of elderly people who were comforting Martha and Mary during the death of their brother Lazarus. The Bible further teaches us of two of Jesus Christ’s greatest miracles, which both occurred during solemn funerals; the first was the raising of the widow’s son found in Luke 7:11–17 and the resurrection of Lazarus in John 11.

Pastors and other religious leaders need to understand the interrelatedness and connectedness of religion and ethnicity and culture in this context (Beyers 2017). This implies that, in importing religion into culture, the missionary or pastor should pay attention to understanding the culture into which that relocation is happening. Lukhele (2016), subsequently supported by Kgatle and Segalo (2021), notes that if the healing of the bereaved family is the aim of religion within the context, an African-based pastor’s work will be easier if the family is united rather than being divided. Furthermore, should the collective family, as well as their pastoral caregivers, be against the practice of the “after tears” party, then this must be announced during the procession of the funeral. However, if culture has problems with itself, it is culture that must correct itself. It cannot be ignored that young people and their “after tears” practices are part and parcel of the community.

8. Conclusions

Although “after tears” parties are creeping into funeral practices of the black people in black townships and some rural villages, it remains unconfirmed whose culture they are. This practice was found to be championed by the youth, some of whom may not be aware of the original cultural practices performed at African funerals. The practice seems to have already caused challenges for most traditional and elderly people, hence the traditional leadership (CONTRALESA) has indicated a complete denial and rejection of it being part of their culture. The practice of “after tears”, by contrast, undermines the dignity and the respect that the bereaved family should be afforded during their time of loss. This article managed to unveil that traditionalists among the African people are finding it challenging to accept the practice, holding on to the notion that funerals should, among other things, uphold the values of respect and dignity for the bereaved family.