Queerly Unequal: LGBT+ Students and Mentoring in Higher Education
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Literature Review
2.1. Mentoring and Education
Other definitions of mentorship emphasize sharing wisdom, encouraging development through guidance or instruction, and building a trusting relationship (DuBois and Silverthorn 2005).a nurturing process in which a more skilled or more experienced person, serving as a role model, teaches, sponsors, encourages, counsels and befriends a less skilled or less experienced person for the purpose of promoting the latter’s professional and/or personal development. Mentoring functions are carried out within the context of an ongoing, caring relationship between the mentor and protégé.(p. 40)
2.2. Mentoring Benefits for At-Risk Students in Education
2.3. The Queer Community
3. Results
3.1. Barriers to Social Support: School
Feeling isolated from others due to their queer identity, many queer students are unable to access social support that comes much more easily to their heteronormative peers.“High school was kind of like a lonely time and I didn’t confide much in my parents because I was going through some mental health stuff. Um I didn’t want them to worry about it, or know about it, you know. I guess I had a couple of teachers I talked to but not in any kind of like detail, more just like general. Uh, I uh, I mean I had a support system through my friends, um, somewhat. All of my friends, well most of my friends, were um straight and Catholic, so that was um, that was that was, it was difficult to talk about a lot of the things that were bothering me with them because they just either didn’t care or didn’t get it, um so, high school was fairly lonely.”
“It was stuff I had, I had to figure out for myself. Even though I had the resources in high school to like, I could have gone straight to a four year university after I graduated but like I … I think the issue was, I didn’t know what school I wanted to go to. so, and I felt like at the time that financially it probably wasn’t a good idea to go to a four year university. I could’ve tried to go for like scholarships but like that felt, it just felt like a lot of work and a lot of pressure, and I just didn’t feel comfortable. So I ended up going and applying and doing testing for [local school] Tech. instead. It was just a different journey, and I ended up saving money along the way because of it … I mean I was pretty much able to navigate things on my own for the most part. I mean I had assistance with friends just in like finding resources and spaces. But like most part it was me. I was at my most confident that I could. It wasn’t that I lacked or needed a mentor, it was that I was at the point where I could mentor myself … I think one of the best parts about our community is that it is a lot of self-discovery. And it requires a lot of focusing on trying to figure out what you need on your own. And yes, we do need friends and allies and any other way we can like help look more into our identity. But it really is a personal journey.”
Similarly to Eli, Ezera felt that she was able to mentor herself, as she went on to detail the process of seeking authenticity and self-discovery, aiding in the resiliency of finding out “what you need on your own.”“I was going to community college when I was, when it was, deciding to go to a four year university, and I just graduated with my associates in arts and I was like “alright I need to send out some applications to different schools” so I decided I’ll pick schools that I can get to easily. That are within driving distance so I don’t have to worry about being too far from home if I ever need to go back home.”
3.2. Barriers to Social Support: Home
“They’ve [their parents] been really nice with Jamie, my younger sibling. The new name has been difficult and the pronouns are definitely a struggle and both of my parents were raised by English teachers so it’s like “they is plural” and I’m like who cares? But I don’t say that because it’s my parents. My parents were having a really difficult time with my younger sibling’s new name and I went out to breakfast with my mom I guess this summer and she was talking to me about it, and she was like “it’s such a challenging thing.” And I think one reason I haven’t came out is because my parents confide in me all the struggles of like having a kid that is a nonbinary assigned female kid that likes women and came to terms with all of that at like age 12. So they’ve been out forever, and recently decided they’d like to go by “Jamie” but my parents took it really personally because both of our names have a lot of meaning and blah blah blah. And I was like “you have the choice and it’s like you don’t get to pick the way you love people.” You can’t love Jamie the way you’ve loved anyone else. You’ve got to love them for them, and then when I mentioned that Jamie was like thinking about moving out and not coming back it was like- oh wow this is a real thing I’m doing that’s harm.”
Anita did not feel she could even discuss her sexuality with her family in any way, because attempts were quickly shut down by her mother. This barrier to social support limited Anita’s ability to connect with her family, as they did not accept her sexuality.“we just don’t talk about it [her sexuality]. It’s a weird thing, but nobody brings it up aside from my sister, but she’s queer too, I think she’s like exploring. She’s a freshman now in college; she goes to [state school]. So I’m sure she’ll start exploring that part. I wouldn’t say I’m that close with my immediate family; I mean I brought it up a long time ago, we talked about it then, so there’s no need to talk about it again. But that’s my apprehension to what I’ve had my mom say honestly. She’s the one who’s had me turned off to talking about it.”
3.3. Lack of Mentoring Relationships
Eli came from a low-income background, and they feel the salience of their status as a queer individual has more greatly influenced their experiences both before and during their time at the university than their social class. Here Eli, like many other respondents in this project, expressed that their identity as a member of the queer community aided in their sense of resiliency, even while living with the risk of economic insecurity. Respondents who identified, and were out, as gender fluid, gender nonconforming, gender creative, or nonbinary were not able to identify a mentor in their lives before college, unlike two of the cisgendered respondents who were able to identify a mentor. The privilege of appearing heteronormative, or “passing,” could also assert an influence on this disparity between identities and mentorship within the queer community. According to all gender nonconforming respondents who also had coexisting marginalized identities, their gender identity was the most salient to them in regard to their lack of social support both before and during their college experience.“I didn’t have anyone. I just kinda threw everything I had into school and ignored the rest of my life, so I didn’t realize I needed anything like that [a mentor] until I got here, then I was like ‘wow other people have like people to look up to, and have representation’ but it was just me. I don’t need anyone to look up to. Like I’ll mentor myself, because I’m wonderful. No, I look up to myself because I worked my ass off to get here and to like keep myself afloat.”
3.4. Coping: Respondents’ Perception of the Risk of “Living Authentically”
Many respondents discussed college as a space where they could undergo the process of self-discovery, often perceiving university campuses to be more liberal than the rural hometowns many respondents were from. They recalled a desire to live authentically while at college, and not hide their identity any longer.“I didn’t have anyone, but I was also very very very hiding my entire self in the closet. So I was just biding my time until I was 18 and I could tell my family. If they kicked me out, I would get to leave … I sorta was applying [to college] on like a hope and a prayer that I’d get in. But, um, I didn’t know how I was going to pay for it. Or how I was going to get here, or anything like that. I just knew I needed to like, get out of where I was. And this was far enough away. With instate tuition … There was also that constant fear when I was doing it that I would be like, a token minority. My friends call me the diversity uniform because I fit so many boxes. But I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, cause I was, you know, hiding all of it from everyone [in their hometown].”
Eli expressed their desire to live authentically and unfiltered in a way that was inaccessible to them in their hometown due to homophobia, discrimination, and fear of retribution—even dealing with the threat of getting kicked out of their childhood home. For many queer students, coming out before they are able to be financially independent poses a threat to their housing situation and familial relationships; therefore, in order to protect their safety, most queer students are forced to stay in the metaphorical closet until they are in a space that seems safe, accepting, or at minimum nonviolent toward queer folks. Respondents who came from small or rural towns often they held a belief that university campuses were a safe space for queer folks, as they saw the university as vastly more liberal, accepting, or progressive than their more rural and conservative hometowns, all of which are located in the southern United States. A desire to live authentically, experience new social worlds, and find a queer community were driving factors for many queer students’ decisions to attend college.“I wasn’t ready for any of my coming out process but when I got here [the university], you know, I didn’t want to lie about who I was anymore. I wanted to be me. It was something that I’d never been able to be.”
3.5. Institutional Support
After facing bullying for the first three years of high school, Amy was unable to stay at her school. The school that Amy transitioned to for her senior year of high school was an arts-focused university that offered a dual enrollment program, which she felt caused there to be a larger queer representation and acceptance. Amy had to move high schools in order to feel safe, and she wanted to avoid entering the same kind of dangerous and invalidating environment as her initial high school. Therefore, she did thorough research about the universities she applied to attend, and sought institutional support through the diversity centers.“I had a lot of the opposite of support in my school system actually. I had a lot of different mental health issues that were going on; on top of that I was bullied, cause even though I wasn’t out, people kind of assumed … I was bullied a lot in high school … And I actually had to transfer high schools, so my last year of high school, um my senior year, I went to [local arts college] they have a high school program, and that- I was very lucky to go there, and that, my mother definitely helped me go there and get out of the um, bad space that I was in for the first three years of high school … I loved it, it was definitely a safe haven, where before [at previous high school] I wasn’t accepted. I was threatened emotionally, physically, and then I got to basically gay heaven. It was great … I definitely have those roles [mentors] with figures in the GLBT center so I found out about them before I came here. I wanted to make sure I went to a school that had a GLBT center, and I realized a lot of schools only have one diversity office [for all minority identities].”
Many respondents found that only in the center were they not viewed as a token minority. When discussing being the only queer member of a club for her major Amy, a lesbian from a low-income background, said she was “definitely the queerest one of them.” Amy was the only respondent who expressed identification with an organization or club that was not connected to the diversity and inclusion offices on campus.“I was the first person to come out as any flavor of queer … I started going to the GLBT center a lot. And that’s where I kinda like found my space on campus. I hung out at the center a lot to just talk to people, and that’s where I met a lot of people I hung out with freshmen year. Yeah, so those are the two groups I kinda hang out with … In the marching band- I have like one friend who is queer. He didn’t even do color guard he just like found his way into our friend group. But he and I are, it’s enough to like where they all are allies but are really chill about it- like they don’t make it about them. It was mostly queer people, because um, I don’t know, I like to hang out with people like me, you know?”
3.6. Prosocial Behavior: Peer Mentorship
However, the center the student spoke about is also undergoing issues with staff turnover, lack of support on the systemic level, and loss of funding. Other respondents viewed the center as a way the university could avoid dealing with queer issues on campus. As they stated and other respondents also conveyed, “Well we have the campus GLBT center, which I think the university regards as like a band aid. Like this is our fix; give them a center, they’re good. But it isn’t perfect.” The center, which almost all of the respondents access frequently, has a variety of clubs and organizations supporting various marginalized communities; these spaces were often spoken up as a positive light in a community where queer students often feel very disrespected, ostracized, or harassed. Most importantly, all but one respondent acknowledged the LGBT center or clubs supervised by the center as a source of affirmation on the college campus; these respondents also hold leadership roles within the organizations, volunteered, or expressed other forms of prosocial behavior toward the queer community.“Being here allowed me to work with some of the underexposed communities that I love … I actually, joined a club called The Allies for Students with Disabilities. I stepped into the mentor role for a lot of people. Um, and I started like volunteering at the GLBT center … I love the folks at the center; they’re all wonderful.”
Students also stated that their identities have a tendency to be affirmed in the diversity center in ways that they are not in most other areas of campus, positing the importance of institutional support. Various respondents stated that they have been misgendered—a microaggression that can have detrimental consequences to trans or gender nonconforming folks—due to a lack of pronoun representation in classes, other clubs, or university activities; this is just one of countless examples of identity work respondents must conduct outside the safe space of diversity offices.“It’s different being in a leadership role. I’m now trying to figure out what was missing from the year before that I would like to implement this year. I want to make sure it’s something that not only I can enjoy but other people can enjoy as well … When I do become a teacher I want to provide a space that I know I didn’t have in high school and create like a GSA [gender sexuality alliance] or something.”
Anita reported benefiting from prosocial behavior such as peer mentorship, claiming that all of her support on the university campus was found in her primarily queer friend group. Other members of the university campus looked down on queer students and other marginalized identities, according to Anita, who emphasized the salience of her coexisting marginalized identities as a Black bisexual woman,“I was like ‘I’m gay’ and I’m just stepping out of the closet so I should start a GSA, then I was like ‘oh I like this.’ I like providing this presence and this space for students … By the time I was a junior that [his goal] shifted to helping people find their beginnings since I came in and I got involved, like not everyone does that, so how can I help students make the most of it, their time here. It shifted towards like trying to give back in a way that I would’ve benefited I guess.”
As a black woman Anita said that people often invoke the strong black woman stereotype, leaving her feeling “like I have on that invisibility cloak.” She feels that as a bisexual black woman people often assume she is straight due to her ability to ‘pass.’ Anita felt that without the prosocial behavior from her queer peers and through mentorship she would not be able to bare the struggles of having coexisting marginalized identities at the university.“You’re assumed not to know things just because of your ethnicity, your face, your gender, you’re just assumed to have this certain level of understanding and that’s it. For most of us it’s frustrating you know; you feel like you always gotta work ten times as hard to be taken as serious.”
4. Discussion
4.1. Coping with the Mentor Deficit: Resiliency and Authenticity
4.2. Institutional Support
4.3. Prosocial Behavior
5. Materials and Methods
5.1. Recruitment and Data Collection
5.2. Sample
5.3. Analysis
6. Conclusions
6.1. Implications
6.2. Limitations and Future Research
Funding
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Pseudonym & Pronouns | Age | Gender | Sexuality | Race/Ethnicity | Parents’ Highest Level of Education | Socioeconomic Class |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Eli (they/them) | 21 | Gender fluid | Pansexual, demisexual | White, Native American | GED | Poor/Working |
Ezera (she/her) | 22 | Cis-female | Bisexual | Hispanic, White | Community College | Lower Middle |
Dylan (he/him) | 22 | Male | Queer | White | Graduate School | Upper Middle |
Rickey (he/him) | 22 | Man | Gay | Latinx | High School | Working |
Mars (they/them) | 21 | Agender | Pansexual | White | Graduate School | Middle |
Carmen (she/her) | 20 | Cis-female | Bisexual | White | Graduate School | Upper Middle |
Cooper (he/him) | 20 | Cis-male | Gay | White | College | Middle |
Oakley (he/him) | 20 | Male | Gay | White | High School | Working |
Anita (she/her) | 21 | Cis-female | Bisexual | African American | High School | Working |
Amy (she/her) | 19 | Cis-woman | Lesbian | White | College | Working |
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Graham, B.E. Queerly Unequal: LGBT+ Students and Mentoring in Higher Education. Soc. Sci. 2019, 8, 171. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci8060171
Graham BE. Queerly Unequal: LGBT+ Students and Mentoring in Higher Education. Social Sciences. 2019; 8(6):171. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci8060171
Chicago/Turabian StyleGraham, Brooke Erin. 2019. "Queerly Unequal: LGBT+ Students and Mentoring in Higher Education" Social Sciences 8, no. 6: 171. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci8060171