Love, Sex, & Aging: Gendered Perspective on Relationship Desires and Satisfaction in Older Adulthood

Abstract

This research explores gender differences in long- and short-term relationships and sexual satisfaction among older adults. Socioemotional Selectivity Theory posits that as people age, they prioritize immediate emotional satisfaction due to perceptions of limited time. This shift influences older adults’ romantic relationships, increasing the likelihood of seeking meaningful connections and reducing the prevalence of negative emotions. With healthy relationships linked to physical, psychological, and financial benefits, research is needed to further understand older adult romantic relationships. Older adults (n = 155) from the Seniors Together in Aging Research (STAR) completed a survey assessing relationship preferences and current and predicted sexual satisfaction. T-tests were used to determine gender differences. Several gender differences were noted. Men reported greater levels of sexual satisfaction and predicted more positive future sex as compared to women. Men placed greater importance on long-term relationships. There was no gender difference in short-term relationship importance. Women may have shorter-term relationship desires to avoid taking on caregiving. This aligns with previous research indicating that when seeking new relationships, women are cautious about the potential of providing care to a partner. Greater sexual satisfaction reported by men aligns with previous research noting that men tend to be more sexually satisfied throughout the lifespan.

1. Introduction

1.1. Socioemotional Selectivity in Older Adulthood

Socioemotional Selectivity Theory (SST) posits that different goals are prioritized throughout the lifespan, with time being the key motivating force (Carstensen 1992). While many developmental theories focus on age, SST emphasizes that the time remaining in life drives human motivation and emotional experiences. For example, people’s motivations and behaviors change when they are told they will be moving away shortly because time is now restricted (Fredrickson and Carstensen 1990). When more time is perceived as available, priority can be given to goals that yield rewards later, such as learning a new skill or beginning a relationship. Therefore, taking risks and failure is more acceptable because if it does not work out, there is plenty of time to recover (Carstensen and Hershfield 2021). However, when time is shorter, there is a shift to investing in goals that can be realized in the present and those that are emotionally gratifying.

In the context of aging, SST offers significant implications for interpersonal relationships. As people age, they are more likely to prioritize current rewards over future potential (Carstensen 2021). This is different from developing relationships at younger ages. Older adults are more likely to prefer partners who provide meaningful emotional experiences accompanied by immediate rewards, rather than considering possibilities such as whether the partner would be an ideal future parent or their likely earning potential (Carstensen and Reynolds 2023). Older adults tend to form smaller social networks, prioritizing meaningful and close relationships, such as family and romantic partners, while minimizing connections with less emotionally rewarding relationships, like casual acquaintances (English and Carstensen 2014). As the social support network narrows in older adulthood, the remaining social interactions are perceived as more meaningful compared to those experienced by younger individuals (Nikitin et al. 2024). Building on the shift in social priorities, older adults are less likely to engage in behaviors that elicit negative emotions and are more likely to seek positive relational outcomes (Carstensen et al. 1999). Socioemotional Selective Theory provides a framework for older adults seeking relationships that prioritize the immediate, emotionally gratifying experience, which differs from that of younger age groups. Research is needed to further explore the unique differences in older adults’ desires for relationships.

1.2. Older Adult Relationships

Healthy relationships have long been associated with numerous psychological and physical benefits, including increased life expectancy, higher levels of life satisfaction, and improved mental health (Grover and Helliwell 2019; Jace and Makridis 2021; Whisman et al. 2018). Consistent with SST, as people age, meaningful close relationships become more, not less, important (Sharifian et al. 2022). Due to increasing life expectancy, a growing aging population, and the importance of relationships for well-being, there is an increasing impetus to research and understand older adult relationships.

Older populations encounter a range of challenges that both shape and are shaped by social relationships. One is the transition into retirement, where those in married relationships now have “half as much money and twice as much spouse”. The transition to retirement requires partners to renegotiate their relationship as time spent together increases, which can lead to increased conflict (Barnes and Parry 2004). Protective factors of relationship satisfaction during retirement include having a strong connection and meeting partner’s needs (Fye et al. 2020). For single adults, retirement can be a catalyst for increased social isolation as work-based support networks are severed (Barnes and Parry 2004).

Divorce within the aging population, frequently referred to as gray divorce, also significantly impacts relationship formation. Divorce rates among middle-aged and older adults are increasing in countries like the United States, the United Kingdom, India, and Japan (Tang 2020). Since 1990, divorce rates in this age group have doubled in the United States, with rates expected to increase as the Baby Boomer generation continues to age (Lin et al. 2016; Raley and Sweeney 2020). This has led to an increase in older adults seeking romantic relationships and a need to understand relationship preferences. In an American sample, approximately 36% of individuals aged 65 and older are single, with 22% actively seeking a relationship (Brown 2020). Those interested in dating are more likely to be divorced or separated, while those not interested in seeking romantic relationships are more likely to be widowed (Brown and Shinohara 2013). While older adults in dating relationships desire romantic relationships, they are less willing to settle or compromise. They will choose to remain unattached if they are unable to find suitable partners (Malta and Farquharson 2014).

1.3. Older Adults and Sexual Activities

Discussion of sexual activities in older adulthood is often based on a deficit approach. While this focus highlights the difficulties and physiological changes that older adults might experience with physical intimacy, it often fails to capture the continued importance of sexual activity among older adults (Traeen et al. 2016a). The proportion of older adults engaging in sexual activities, such as sex and masturbation, highlights the relevance. In a Swedish national study, 46% of adults over the age of 60 were sexually active (Stentagg et al. 2021). In a cross-national study that included four European countries and assessed solitary sexual activity, Fischer et al. (2022) found that 57% of men and 33% of women between 60 and 75 years of age masturbated within the last month. Sexual activities are common in adulthood, including older adulthood.

There are common stereotypes and misconceptions about sex and older adults. Although sexual activities may evolve throughout the life course and lessen in frequency in later life, many older adults remain sexually active and report high levels of sexual satisfaction (Stentagg et al. 2021). In fact, some aspects of sexual activities may become less stressful, such as older women being less susceptible to challenges related to body dissatisfaction compared to younger women (Træen et al. 2016b). Additionally, those more likely to report positive sexual activity are those reporting better health and access to a partner (Tessler and Gavrilova 2010).

Sex for aging adults is not without its challenges, as it is common for both middle-aged and older adults to report at least one sexual problem (Tessler and Gavrilova 2010). Many partners need to work through these difficulties to maintain sexual enjoyment. Some of the most common issues reported by older adults include erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness (DeLamater 2012). Both of these issues are treatable and can help older adults maintain enjoyment in sexual activities. Beyond these biological challenges, psychosocial factors may also explain why some older adults are sexually active and others are not. Skoblow et al. (2022) suggested that older adults who have more positive views of aging may find sexual activities to be more fulfilling. In addition, persistent stereotypes about aging can also contribute to feelings of self-doubt regarding sexual abilities and impact the likelihood of participating in sexual activities (Penhollow et al. 2017).

Research suggests that definitions of and perceptions of sexual behaviors and activities may also change over time. For example, as physical capabilities change, some older adults may focus more on the importance of non-sexual activities that promote intimacy, such as kissing or cuddling (Cameron and Santos-Iglesias 2024). These changes in intimacy may be acceptable to both partners; however, couples with strong communication skills are better equipped to navigate and adapt to these changes (Towler et al. 2023). Perceptions of sexual activities may also be linked to relationship status, as Towler et al. explained that although some widows enjoyed their sexual relationships when their partners were alive, when their partners died, it became less important in their lives. For single older adults, although sexual activity was less than they desired, they were also less likely to participate in non-traditional activities such as friends with benefits or one-night stands (Gray et al. 2019).

1.4. Gender Differences

Gender differences continue to highlight variations in behaviors, although these differences are often exacerbated, and within-group differences are frequently greater than between-group differences (Reis and Carothers 2014). Researchers have highlighted contrasts in the relationship motivations and behaviors of older adults (Buss and Schmitt 2019; Crowley 2019). We will focus on differences in genders, approaches to adult romantic relationships, and sexual behaviors.

1.4.1. Gender Difference in Older Adult Romantic Relationships

Extant research highlights gender differences in relationship patterns of older adults. Compared to older women, older men are more likely to date, be married, or cohabitate (Miller et al. 2021; Mouzon et al. 2020) and are more likely to desire remarriage (Crowley 2019). These trends are partially explained by the increased presence of women in the potential dating pool, as women tend to live longer, and men are more likely to consider dating younger women (Harris 2023).

Men benefit greatly from being in a romantic relationship. Compared to women, men are more likely to receive most of their support within a marriage (Burke et al. 2019). Relatedly, living with someone is beneficial for men, regardless of marital status. Compared to dating and unpartnered older adult men, cohabitors and married men experience better psychological well-being (Wright and Brown 2017). Happily married men also report higher levels of quality of life and better physical health (DeMaris and Oates 2022; Lawrence et al. 2019). Given the pivotal role of social support in overall health, men have an increased impetus to develop romantic relationships, allowing women to receive support through other relationships.

Older single adult women tend to be more cautious when seeking new romantic partners. Crowley (2019) found that women wanted romantic relationships and togetherness, but almost half had no desire to remarry. Women in their 70s and 80s were also the least likely to actively date (Miller et al. 2021). The lack of interest in marriage or remarriage stems from women perceiving fewer benefits and more costs in initiating romantic relationships (Mouzon et al. 2020). Single older adult women favor independence and may avoid more serious relationship arrangements to reduce their likelihood of taking on caregiver roles (Davidson 2004). Men experience worsening health more quickly than women, which may result in providing care for an aging partner. These behaviors align with SST, in which current emotional experiences are prioritized when time is limited, leading women to avoid the negative consequences of caregiving.

1.4.2. Gender Difference in Sexual Behaviors of Older Adults

Previous researchers suggest that women prefer long-term relationships due to higher commitment and the potential for a partner to provide for children, while men are more likely to prefer short-term sexual encounters (Buss and Schmitt 2019; Li and Kenrick 2006). Men also have more casual perceptions of sex and are less interested in an emotional relational investment compared to women (Schmitt et al. 2001). In later adulthood, men tend to gain more from long-term relationships because they are more likely to require care and have a shorter life expectancy than women (Mayol-Garcia and Gurrentz 2021). Therefore, avoiding longer-term relationships can significantly harm men. Exploring mate selection in older adults is needed to further understand the unique processes of relationship formation during this developmental period. Mate preferences may change over time due to fluctuations in social norms and influences (Buss and Schmitt 2019).

Compared to women, men are more likely to have a living partner in older adulthood. In heterosexual relationships, women tend to marry older men; because women tend to live longer than men, this also increases the likelihood that their partner dies first (Brown et al. 2018). The differences also explain why men are more likely to have a partner in older adulthood, which also increases their likelihood of participating in sexual activities (Tessler and Gavrilova 2010). Despite the greater likelihood of sexual activities reported by men, Twenge et al. (2017) speculated that this might be due to men over-reporting rather than reflecting an actual increase in activities compared to women.

There are also gender differences related to sexual satisfaction and how individuals feel about themself. Buczak-Stec et al. (2021) found that older women from Germany reported lower levels of sexual dissatisfaction compared to men, a difference that was not found among middle-aged counterparts. As people age, sexual activities frequently change with priority given to other forms of contact, such as cuddling and kissing, rather than penetration (Skałacka and Gerymski 2019). Consistent with SST, these forms of sexual activity among older adults may contribute to greater satisfaction because they align more appropriately with emotional connection. How women feel about themselves and their bodies has been linked to the likelihood of engaging in sexual activities (Pujols et al. 2010). Individual beliefs about the self can be powerful, as Skoblow et al. (2022) reported that one’s internalized beliefs about aging may impact sexual frequency more so than a partner’s perception of the individual. Furthermore, these differences in how men and women are evaluated and feel about themselves may account for some of the differences in sexual activities reported by older adults.

Although these variations are important to consider, they may not account for the within-group differences due to varied health factors or relationship histories among older adults. While harmonious relationships among couples can be protective and beneficial to the health of older adults (Kiecolt-Glaser and Wilson 2017), individual health-related changes and personality may impact the couple’s relationship (Cotter and Kerschner 2018). The influence of prior relationships on current romantic relationships is also an important factor to consider. Partners with long-standing relationships demonstrated higher marital quality than those in subsequent marriages (Cooney et al. 2017). Health, personality, relationship history, and other factors may further explain some of the differences observed in older adult relationships.

The purpose of this study is to investigate gender differences in romantic relationships among older adults. We assess two main research questions. First, are there gender differences in the importance of long and short-term relationships to older adults? It is hypothesized that women will prioritize short-term relationships while men will prioritize long-term relationships due to caregiving needs and responsibilities. Second, are there gender differences in current and predicted future sexual satisfaction among older adults? It is hypothesized that men will report higher levels of predicted future positive sexual satisfaction and higher levels of current negative satisfaction because men are more likely to perceive sex as an important part of their romantic relationships.

2. Methods

2.1. Participants and Design

After obtaining IRB approval from the University of Northern Iowa, participants were contacted using the Seniors Together in Aging Research (STAR) research list, administered through the University of Iowa. The majority of participants (n = 907) in the STAR registry were from Iowa and were ages 65–95. We provided STAR with the informed consent form and the survey link, and they emailed the link to potential participants. Individuals who completed the survey used the Qualtrics survey application. Due to the limited number of older adult contacts, a convenience sample methodology was used. It is acknowledged that this sampling method can yield a non-representative sample. Of the participants who were emailed the survey link, 155 responded to the request to complete the survey. No incentives were provided to participants. Participants were informed that they would be taking a survey about their background and perspectives on relationships and that they could skip any sections of the survey. Responses regarding sexual activity were lower than some of the other assessments in the survey.

2.2. Demographics

Participants included in this study ranged in age from 65 to 95, with a mean age of 73.48 years (SD = 6.42). Of the total 155 participants used in this study, 46 were male and 109 were female. The majority of participants were married (63.4%), identified as heterosexual (89.6%), and were Christian (58.1%). The sample was highly educated, with 34.2% having a bachelor’s degree, 30.3% a master’s degree, and 16.1% a doctorate. See

Table 1. Participant Demographics.

	Age (SD)	Education Level	Religious Beliefs	Relationship Status
Male (n = 46)	M—74.22 (7.27) Mdn—71	10.9%—GED/Diploma 4.3%—AA 26.1%—Bachelors 28.3%—Masters 30.4%—Doctorate	23.9%—Agnostic 15.2%—Atheist 43.5%—Christian 17.3%—Other	6.5%—Never Married 6.5%—Divorced 4.3%—Widowed 82.6%—Married
Female (n = 109)	M—73.17 (6.03) Mdn—72	1.8%—No degree 4.6%—GED 14.7%—AA 37.6%—Bachelors 31.1%—Masters 10.1%—Doctorate	14.8%—Agnostic 5.5%—Atheist 0.9%—Buddhist 64.8%—Christian 13.9%—Other	4.7%—Never Married 24.3%—Divorced 15.9%—Widowed 55.1%—Married
Total (n = 155)	M—73.48 (6.42) Mdn—72	1.3%—No degree 6.5%—GED/Diploma 11.6%—AA 34.2%—Bachelors 30.3%—Masters 16.1%—Doctorate	17.5%—Agnostic 8.4%—Atheist 0.6%—Buddhist 58.4%—Christian 14.9%—Other	5.2%—Never Married 19.0%—Divorced 12.4%—Widowed 63.4%—Married

for a further breakdown of participants’ demographic variables.

3. Measures

3.1. Importance of Long & Short-Term Relationships

Minimal research exists on the importance of long-term versus short-term romantic relationships. As a result, the authors created a questionnaire to assess participants’ perceptions of the importance of long- and short-term relationships. Participants were given a set of questions in which they rated how often their feelings agreed with those statements about romantic relationships. Participants answered on a 4-point Likert scale, where “1 = I never feel this way” to “4 = I often feel this way.” A total of eight items were presented (α = 0.75), with four items (α = 0.88) assessing the importance of long-term romantic relationships and four items (α = 0.84) assessing the importance of short-term romantic relationships. Reported alphas were calculated using the current sample and demonstrate strong reliability. The questionnaire is provided in Appendix A.

3.2. Current Sexual Satisfaction (ISS)

The Index of Sexual Satisfaction (Hudson et al. 1981) was utilized to assess current sexual satisfaction and future desire for sexual satisfaction. There are 25 items in the ISS, 12 of which are worded positively and 13 negatively. Participants responded using a 7-point Likert scale, where 1 indicates “none of the time” and 7 indicates “all of the time.” Total scores for positive sexual satisfaction range from 12 to 84, with higher scores indicating more sexual satisfaction. Total scores for negative sexual satisfaction range from 13 to 91, where high scores indicate greater sexual dissatisfaction. High internal consistency for this measure has been reported for short-term (α = 0.91) and committed relationships (α = 0.93; Hudson et al. 1981). The test–retest reliability for the ISS has been reported at r = 0.93 (Hudson et al. 1981). Hudson and colleagues reported a known-group validity coefficient of 0.76 when comparing the ISS scores of troubled and untroubled groups. Sexually active participants only filled out the ISS measure. Sexual experience is complex and can result in multiple and sometimes conflicting feelings (Moilanen et al. 2023; Vasilenko et al. 2022). As a result, positive and negative sexual satisfaction scores were reported independently to allow researchers to explore this complexity.

3.3. Predicted Future Sexual Satisfaction (P-FSS)

The Index of Sexual Satisfaction (Hudson et al. 1981—ISS) was modified to assess participants’ anticipated future sexual satisfaction. Where typical ISS questions state, “I have a fulfilling sex life or I do NOT enjoy sexual activity with my partner”, the PFSS initial prompt read, “Thinking about future partners please answer the following questions” and questions were altered to read, “I would like to have a fulfilling sex life or I will NOT enjoy sexual activity with my partner.” The Likert scale and score range for the P-FSS were the same as those for the ISS. Participants who were not sexually active only filled out the P-FSS.

4. Results

4.1. Data Analysis

Data normality was assessed using the Kolmogorov–Smirnov test to determine appropriate analysis. Positive current sexual experience was found to be normally distributed; as a result, an independent-samples t-test was used to compare the means between men and women (see

Table 2. Mann–Whitney Gender Comparisons of Type of Relationship Importance, Positive and Negative Future Sexual Experience, and Negative Current Sexual Experience.

Comparison Conditions	Men		Women
	Mdn	Mean Rank	Mdn	Mean Rank	Z	p	Effect Size
Importance of Short-term Relationships	8.00	78.76	8.00	77.68	−0.14	0.89	−0.01
Importance of Long-term Relationships	16.00	100.77	15.00	68.39	−4.40	<0.001	−0.35
Negative Current Sexual Exp.	14.00	25.33	15.00	29.11	0.90	0.37	0.12
Positive Future Sexual Exp.	40.50	60.23	26.00	41.46	−2.92	<0.01	−0.31
Negative Future Sexual Exp.	16.00	41.14	20.00	42.95	0.30	0.76	0.03

). The remaining measures were not normally distributed, and as a result, Mann–Whitney tests were used to compare men and women on the importance of long-term relationships, short-term relationships, predicted future negative and positive sexual experiences, and current negative sexual experiences (see Table 2). For t-test results, Cohen’s d is calculated. For nonparametric tests, effect sizes were calculated as the z-score divided by the square root of the sample size (Rosenthal 1991). Data were analyzed using IBM’s SPSS software version 29.0.

4.2. Importance of Long & Short-Term Relationships

Importance of Short-Term Relationships. A Mann–Whitney test was conducted to examine differences in the importance men and women place on short-term relationships. Men (Mdn = 8.00) did not differ in their reported feelings of importance for short-term relationships compared to women (Mdn = 8.00), U = 2472, p = 0.89. The mean rank for men was 78.76, while the mean rank for women was 77.68.

Importance of Long-Term Relationships. A Mann–Whitney U test was conducted to examine differences in the importance men and women place on their long-term relationships. Men (Mdn = 16.00) placed greater importance on long-term relationships than women (Mdn = 15.00), U = 1459.502, p < 0.001. The mean rank for men was 100.77, while the mean rank for women was 68.39. The result indicates a medium effect size (r = −0.35).

4.3. Current and Future Sexual Satisfaction

Positive Current Sexual Experience. An independent t-test was conducted to examine the difference between men and women in their report of current positive sexual experiences. There was no difference in men (M = 43.43, SD = 12.97) and women (M = 41.00, SD = 13.11) reported positive current sexual experiences, (t(52) = 0.68, p = 0.25). Finally, the reported effect size was r = 19.

Negative Current Sexual Experience. A Mann–Whitney test was conducted to examine the difference between men and women and their reports of current negative sexual experiences. There was no difference between men (Mdn = 14.00) and women (Mdn = 15.00) on reported current negative sexual experiences, U = 406.50, p = 0.37. The mean rank for men was 25.33, while the mean rank for women was 29.11.

Positive Future Sexual Experience. A Mann–Whitney test was conducted to examine the difference between men and women and their reports of future positive sexual experiences. Men (Mdn = 40.50) reported a more positive outlook for future sexual experiences than women (Mdn = 26.00), U = 446.00, p < 0.01. The mean rank for men was 60.23, while the mean rank for women was 41.46. The result indicates a medium effect size (r = −0.31).

Negative Future Sexual Experience. A Mann–Whitney test was conducted to examine the difference between men and women and their reports of future negative sexual experiences. There was no difference between men (Mdn = 16.00) and women (Mdn = 20.00) in their negative outlook on future sexual experiences, U = 690.00, p = 0.76. The mean rank for men was 41.14, while the mean rank for women was 42.95.

5. Discussion

The purpose of this paper was to explore gender differences in the importance of long-term and short-term relationships and sexual satisfaction in older adults. Investigating the quality of the sex lives of older adults has been understudied, especially with women (Tessler and Gavrilova 2010). This research helps to advance what is known about the quality of older adults’ sex lives. Findings from this study indicated that men placed greater importance on long-term relationships than women did, but also liked short-term relationships to a similar extent. Men may be open to varying lengths of relationships, as both options provide them with companionship.

Only one significant gender difference was noted in the data. Men were more likely to predict more positive future sexual relationships than women. While we expected that women would prefer shorter-term relationships compared to men, we did not find a statistical difference when comparing these two groups. However, we do provide further explanation for some of these findings below.

5.1. Theoretical Perspectives on Relationship Importance

Using Carstensen’s (1992) SST as a lens for interpreting these findings, men may prefer romantic relationships for the close emotional connection they provide, placing a slightly greater emphasis on the importance of longer-term ones. Men’s networks tend to be smaller than women’s; therefore, they may be more interested in pursuing relationships. In addition, long-term relationships are likely to benefit men at the end of life, as their partner may feel more invested and willing to take on caregiving responsibilities.

Being in a committed romantic relationship increases the likelihood that a partner will provide care (De Jong Gierveld 2015), and it is common for individuals to become ill and need care prior to death (Ornstein et al. 2017). Because men tend to marry younger women, they are likely to die sooner (Mayol-Garcia and Gurrentz 2021) and may require care before women need assistance. For example, De Jong Gierveld (2015) reported that older married couples were more likely to express a greater likelihood of assuming caregiving responsibilities for a partner than older adults in long-term relationships but not married. In addition, gender also influences the likelihood of taking on caregiver roles. Women are significantly more likely than men to provide care to family members, including spouses, children, and other relatives (Wolff et al. 2018). As a result of these prior caregiving experiences, some women may be hesitant to take on these roles again when seeking new relationships. This may explain why men were slightly more likely to prefer longer-term relationships. Shorter-term relationships are typically less serious and lack the commitment levels found in longer-term relationships, which may be beneficial to women as it reduces their likelihood of taking on caregiving responsibilities. However, we did not find statistical differences in the importance of short-term relationships between men and women. It is possible that the high marriage rates in the sample influenced these findings. Differences in the importance of relationship length need to be further explored across more diverse groups of older adults.

5.2. Sexual Satisfaction in Later Life

There were no gender differences between men and women regarding reported current positive or negative sexual satisfaction. However, men did have a more optimistic outlook on their potential future sexual satisfaction as compared to women. These findings differ from those of Gray et al. (2019), who reported that as individuals aged, women reported increased sexual satisfaction compared to men. However, their sample focused on a broader range of older adults, from ages 21 to 92, and only on those who were single.

Previous research indicates that men report greater sexual activity involvement compared to women, including both self and partnered activities (DeLamater 2012). Additionally, women are more likely than men to report engaging in intimate activities, such as kissing and cuddling, more frequently (Cameron and Santos-Iglesias 2024). It is possible that for women, the intimate behaviors of kissing and cuddling are meeting their needs, while sexual activities are more likely to meet the needs of men. Towler et al. (2023) offered a recipe for sexual well-being in older adulthood, suggesting that in order for sex to occur, physiological needs must be met first, such as trust and safety with a partner. As the partnership continues to develop, individuals often find that their companionship and romance needs are met as well. If all of the other progressive needs are met, sex may occur. This recipe is similar to Maslow’s (1943) Hierarchy of Needs, which suggests that more basic needs must be met first before more complex needs can be addressed.

5.3. Implications

Older adults are living longer and healthier than ever before, and their increased lifespan has implications for practitioners helping them navigate changes in relationships and sexual activity. Differences in the importance of relationship type may result in a disconnect between potential partners over the type of relationship they desire. Additionally, predicting more positive future sexual satisfaction may create expectations that could result in relationship distress and dissatisfaction. With the recent addition of coverage to Medicare benefits allowing older adults to visit a marriage and family therapist or other mental health professional as many as eight times (Medicare Advantage 2024), practitioners will need to be aware of the differences in how older adults consider the importance of relationships and the importance they place on sexual behaviors, particularly the gender differences, and the tensions that these may pose for couples.

5.4. Limitations

Participants in this study are not representative of the broader older adult population because the research database used was limited in scope. Participants were invited to the study via email, which may have introduced self-selection bias; in this case, older adults who were more technologically literate and had internet access, which is not representative of all older adults. Consequently, this sample was highly educated, with approximately 46% of participants reporting a master’s or doctoral degree. A significant portion of the sample was married, indicating a strong desire for long-term relationships and commitment. Most individuals reported their sexual orientation was heterosexual, and most were young older adults, with half of the sample under the age of 72. Comparing these findings with more diverse samples of older adults would help determine whether these results are unique to our group or indicative of broader trends in older adults’ relationship perspectives. For example, future research should explore relationship desires among older adults with advanced age. Would the oldest old adults (i.e., those aged 85 and above) have similar desires? With the current sample, it is not possible to draw causal conclusions from this cross-sectional data. However, expanding on this work by introducing longitudinal designs or mixed-methods approaches could help address some of these concerns and enhance what is known about older adult relationships.

In addition, by examining relationships with more divorced, single, and widowed older adults, future researchers may glean preferences unique to those who are not married. How might same sex couples consider their relationships, especially as current cohorts of older adults were unable to be legally married until 2015, a time when many were already in older adulthood. These results also primarily pertain to older adults who are mostly White and reside in the Midwest. Additionally, there is an imbalance of participants identifying as “male” and “female.” Though significant results were identified, a more balanced sample may yield different results. More diverse respondents and those living in other areas may have had different views on the importance of relationship type and desires.

Finally, it is also important to consider the truthfulness of individuals when they self-report their behaviors and perspectives on surveys. Social desirability may be an influencing factor when discussing sensitive topics such as sexual satisfaction. Researchers have noted that men are less likely to be truthful in their attitudes regarding sexual activities (Alexander and Fisher 2003), suggesting that gender norms may play a role in how individuals report their perceptions.

5.5. Future Research

Future researchers should consider conducting interviews with older adults to gain a more detailed understanding of their relationship desires. Although we speculate that women may be more hesitant to pursue serious relationships in older adulthood, learning more from women would be beneficial. Is it only caregiving concerns that they are fearful of, or do they also desire more independence and freedom that comes with being unattached to a partner? Likewise, further investigation into factors that may account for within-group variation, such as health, personality, and relationship history, may elucidate some of the differences in older adult relationships.

In addition, future researchers investigating the sexual relationships of older adults should be sure to ask participants how they define sexual activities. As Towler et al. (2023) explained, definitions of sex can evolve and change over time, expanding to other activities beyond penetration. Being clear about specific intimate behaviors that older adults engage in might also provide insight into how intimacy changes over time. As relationship desires and sexual preferences become more diverse, interviewing older adults whose relationship or sexual behaviors are less common might also uncover unknown aspects about relationships in older adulthood.