The Male Experience of Suicide Attempts and Recovery: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis
Abstract
:1. Introduction
2. Materials and Methods
2.1. Sampling
2.2. Procedure and Interview
2.3. Analysis
2.4. Research Team and Reflexivity
3. Results
3.1. Overview
3.2. Characteristics of Attempt/Volitional Factors
3.2.1. Change in Thinking
"and that was the first thing that I thought because I thought right that’s going to be the sharpest thing that’ll do the job… umm, I was thinking… I wasn’t thinking rationally in that side but in the in the mechanics of doing it… I was sort of thinking ehh very clear…and methodical in that way…and… the feelings and things they were just all over the place…I wasn’t thinking clearly"
3.2.2. Unplanned
“I don’t think it I don’t think it was as planned as… as like say for example today’s interview you know it was like… I would say you get up in the morning…and then I just felt horrible all day… I can just remember feeling ehhh no interested in anything at all apart from this thought of… emmm just getting rid of myself basically”
3.2.3. Lived Experience
Previous Suicidal Behaviour
“I had moved down for a a job…I was far away from family, friends…and… I was having a a bad time…and ehhh I had had ehh it was a very surreal one because I had had a weird funny dream that I had tried to slash my wrists in the bathroom …and then woke up the next morning and walked in and… there was every sharp knife that I owned in the bathroom…and there’s the various things sticking into the floor…and I was like right that wasn’t a dream then…and again I had been drinking for that one”
Bereavement/Previous Suicidal Behaviour of a Loved One
“yeah… emm yeah because I think we were quite similar because I was was really close to be brother and always looked up to him… I always thought he was he was brilliant… really funny and laughing… so yeah there was that comparison thing well if he’s away then why should I be here, you know what I mean?”
3.3. Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts and Negative Emotions
3.3.1. Avoidance
“if I think about me… the spider comes in and it grows arms and legs and I’ve got big problems in my head [heid] that aren’t really there in life… but my heid [head] makes them up…and that’s my heid [head] talking to me, trying to get me to go the other way and it’s just about talking about it, trying to skelp it out the way so aye that keeps me going”
3.3.2. Seeking Help
“I mean I used to do everything I started to go to church because I was just so desperate to… and then I started so I was thinking about that and then I was I was scared about going to hell and … just it was running away was like a safety net…you know I was really suicidal there was something I don’t know what it was but something that kept me alive”
3.3.3. Reached His Limit
“… emm it was the pressure and the expectation that I probably put on myself rather than everybody else doing it… thinking there was no way out or if I went home I would be a failure so then rather than being a failure I I wanted to just end it… ill just stop everything…just kind of yeah just have it stop because it was just getting too much”
3.4. Aftermath
3.4.1. Changed but Still Vulnerable
“I feel better in myself… I feel fragile… I don’t feel… perfect… by any manner of means I’m not I’m not fixed…and I know I’m not fixed… I know I’m not right emm fragile from the point of view that… emm I can just go back into myself…and just bury myself back into myself again…and be quite introverted… I know I could quite easily slip back into that…If I don’t work on it and deal with it … and cope with it”
3.4.2. Altered Sense of Self
“I find it embarrassing… yeah…like I don’t have the right… to to do these sorts of things, they’re for really ill people, they’re for people who have real problems and I don’t have them so therefore I’m not entitled to do something like that and… god it is difficult…sorry… and so I’m embarrassed that I I thought I had the right to do that when it’s for someone else”
3.5. Protective Factors
3.5.1. Importance of Talking
“if somebody had spoke then probably yeah… emm… because that distracts you from that thought and you start talking about something else… emm… apart from that probably not much emm unless there was honestly somebody there… ehh but yeah just… having a distraction to take you away from it so you don’t think of… just doing it or you know what can be from somebody else to try to reiterate that you’ve got somebody else to live for or something else to live for…definitely”
3.5.2. Importance of Relationships
“well I’m quite glad… that I’m still here from that perspective… especially because I can see that… it’s no [not] just… which is you know it’s no [not] about I can see your worth because…you need me… but at least somebody needs me…I can see that folk actually need me about”
4. Discussion
4.1. Clinical Implications
4.2. Strengths and Limitations
5. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Acknowledgments
Conflicts of Interest
Appendix A
Graham | Robert | Mark | Liam | Glen | William | John | Blair | James | Stephen | Sam | Gary | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Age | 36 | 49 | 45 | 40 | 26 | 38 | 21 | 28 | 31 | 45 | 19 | 28 |
Gender | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male | Male |
Ethnicity | White | White | White | White | White | White | White | White | White | White | White | Asian/ Asian British |
Marital Status | Never married | Married | Married | Married | Never married | Never married | Never married | Never married | In a relationship | Separated | Never married | Never married |
Living Situation | Live alone | With spouse | With spouse | With spouse and own children | With siblings | Live alone | Student accommodation | With parents | With partner and own children | With parents | With parents | With parents |
Education Level | Postgraduate qualification | HNC/HND/NQ/SVQ | Degree | Postgraduate qualification | HNC/HND/NQ/SVQ | Degree | HNC/HND/NQ/SVQ | Higher/A-levels | None | HNC/HND/NQ/SVQ | Standard grades/GCSE/O-levels | HNC/HND/NQ/SVQ |
Employment status | Employed | Unemployed due to disability/incapacity | Unemployed due to disability/incapacity | Employed | Unemployed due to disability/incapacity | Unemployed and seeking work | Student and working part-time | Employed | Employed | Unemployed and seeking work | Unemployed and seeking work | Unemployed due to disability/incapacity |
Sexual orientation | Homosexual | Heterosexual | Heterosexual | Bisexual | Heterosexual | Heterosexual | Not sure | Heterosexual | Heterosexual | - | Asexual | Heterosexual |
Psychiatric medication (current) | Yes | Yes | No | Yes | No | No | No | No | No | Yes | Yes | Yes |
Mental health diagnosis | Yes | Yes | Yes Depression and anxiety | Yes Depression and anxiety | Yes | No | Yes Depression and anxiety | No | Yes Depression | Yes | Yes Anxiety, autism and insomnia | Yes |
Suicidal thoughts (with no attempt) | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Yes | Would rather not say | Yes |
Last time thought about suicide | The past year | The past week | The past year | The past year | Longer ago | Longer ago | The past week | The past year | Longer ago | Longer ago | The past week | The past week |
Age when first thought about suicide | 13 | - | 44 | 18 | 19 | 13 | 17/18 | 27 | 17 | 19 | 12 | - |
Last time attempted suicide | Longer ago | Longer ago | The past year | The past year | Longer ago | Longer ago | Longer ago | The past year | Longer ago | Longer ago | The past year | The past year |
Number of suicide attempts | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 2/3 | 1 | 1 | 3/4 | 7 | Numerous | I don’t count | 2 |
Age when first attempted suicide | 33 | - | 44 | 18 | 22/23 | 23 | 19 | 27 | 18 | 19 | 12 | 27 |
Appendix B
Appendix B.1. Characteristics of Attempt/Volitional Factors
Appendix B.1.1. Change in Thinking
“… something broke and that before I never would have allowed myself to consider it and the moment that I did consider it and make my peace with it and decide to do it it was suddenly like after that it kept being a really really close thing… and that was the biggest the biggest change that once you’ve accepted it once it’s very easy to get back to that point whereas before that had always been like a barrier…”
Appendix B.1.2. Unplanned
“I wouldn’t say it was a properly planned attempt… it was a sort of spur of the moment decision because my mood had… dropped so low… and it it I just wasn’t thinking clearly”
Appendix B.1.3. Lived Experience
Previous Suicidal Behaviour
“I used to harm myself quite a lot, I used to get kitchen knives. This sounds mental but this was just what I don’t, I couldnae [couldn’t] take the pain inside my heid [head]… that’s the way I can explain it… it’s like wee cars crashing about and the only way to relieve that was to cut myself… and I used to cut my face, cut my neck…cut my arms, for that two minutes it took the pain away from my heid [head]”
Death of a Loved One
“emm I told you that my friend died a few days ago…he killed himself … it’s ok umm … yeah umm so yeah that’s it but emm he was actually the one person that I didn’t actually see the signs I didn’t know he was suicidal … a bit tough but it’s sort of made me realise how much suicide affects other people… umm so yeah umm if that makes sense?”
Appendix B.2. Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts/Negative Emotions
Appendix B.2.1. Avoidance
“it was just to try and just to try and get away because I was just I didn’t want to be around anymore and I just wanted to be by myself…I didn’t want… I found it difficult to engage with people and … I was just my head was just … just a complete mess”
Appendix B.2.2. Seeking Help
“I knew I could get clean and sober and it was just the fear holding me back of going and getting help… I didnae [didn’t] want to go… and say you know I’ve failed, I’ve picked up drink, but you’ve no failed… it’s the way your brain works… and you’re letting them win again, you’ve just got to fight it… because once you’re in the door for a week or two you start to feel better again”
Appendix B.2.3. Reached His Limit
“but how do you talk to somebody?... when you don’t really you really don’t want to talk to somebody… when all you want to do is that… I feel… I feel, I know this sounds bad… I feel like… if you’re picking the phone up to talk to somebody it’s a bit… you’re no [not] really…you’re not necessarily going to do it… That’s… you’re wanting to be talked out of it…which it think is a different thing to actually going through with it… this is me… this is…when I was in that mood… nobody would have talked me out of it… because I have that focus and that…and that single-mindedness… can’t be talked off the ledge that sort of thing you know”
Appendix B.3. Aftermath
Appendix B.3.1. Changed but Still Vulnerable
“it just ehh it kinda put me in a very… it weakened by mind-set and my mental state in total because even now sometimes like I doubt myself when about a year or just over a year ago emm I would never have done that before I would have went to a challenge head on thinking I can get this done easy…this is not a problem whether I would wing it or not is different but I was still getting through it and like I say it used to be it used to be really put myself as one of the best at what I done”
Appendix B.3.2. Altered Sense of Self
“it’s that whole train of mayhem that led to that…I think that’s where that sort of embarrassment comes from… emm and the fact you shouldnae [shouldn’t] be doing that… do you know you know that way… how did you get to that?... that’s just embarrassing that you did that… you complete idiot… I think I’m just a bit hard on myself… saying that I’m an idiot… so I think it… you know it’s all that kind of stuff so… I think it just… I get embarrassed…because of that”
Appendix B.4. Protective Factors
Appendix B.4.1. Importance of Talking
“go and speak to somebody… because your problems aren’t as big as your heid [head] is making them out to be … they seem big at the time, they probably are real but they’re not as big, you can always overcome a problem… when you’re no here you cannae [can’t] … and that problems probably nothing to that other person, or whatever you’ve got”
Appendix B.4.2. Importance of Relationships
“and I feel like I never get a break but aye I rely on her for emotional side of things… maybe a bit too much because I need to realise maybe what it’s like to be myself because I’ve never been myself… I’ve always been mad wae it [drunk/intoxicated] when I’ve been by myself… or if I’ve had a partner, they’ve left me, I’ve always went back the way… I’ve never been long enough sober to go like right you don’t need to go back the way you can move forward without anybody in your life … aye [yes] touch wood that doesnae [doesn’t] happen”
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Major Themes | Sub-themes | ||
---|---|---|---|
Characteristics of Attempt/ Volitional Factors | Change in Thinking | Unplanned | Lived Experience |
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts/Negative Emotions | Avoidance | Seeking Help | Reached His Limit |
Aftermath | Changed but Still Vulnerable | Altered Sense of Self | |
Protective Factors | Importance of Talking | Importance of Relationships |
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Richardson, C.; Dickson, A.; Robb, K.A.; O’Connor, R.C. The Male Experience of Suicide Attempts and Recovery: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2021, 18, 5209. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18105209
Richardson C, Dickson A, Robb KA, O’Connor RC. The Male Experience of Suicide Attempts and Recovery: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021; 18(10):5209. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18105209
Chicago/Turabian StyleRichardson, Cara, Adele Dickson, Kathryn A. Robb, and Rory C. O’Connor. 2021. "The Male Experience of Suicide Attempts and Recovery: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis" International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 18, no. 10: 5209. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18105209