In This Together: Employment and Household Labor Divisions Among Highly Religious Wives and Husbands

Abstract

The division of labor in mixed-gender couples has been a popular research topic for several decades, including discussions about household labor, childcare, and paid employment. However, few studies have examined these processes as they apply to highly religious couples, whose perspectives on labor division show some evidence of diverging from those who are less devout. To better understand how successful mixed-gender, highly religious couples from a broad range of faith traditions conceptualize the division of paid and unpaid labor, we employed a strengths-based, qualitative approach, examining data from 103 interviews with highly religious, highly satisfied couples (N = 206 participants). Viewed within an interdependence theory framework, findings across numerous religions and ethnicities revealed evidence of communal relationships, with themes emphasizing partnership, shared responsibility, and varied labor arrangements that required commitment, trust, and sacrifice. While spouses evidenced high levels of agreement with each other, a strong emphasis on a husband’s responsibility to provide financially contrasted with a more nuanced view of women’s roles, with some participants stressing women’s roles at home and some highlighting their right to choose employment and a more flexible household labor division. Difficulties mentioned revolved around traditional labor arrangements and work–life balance for husbands.

1. Introduction

While the division of household and employment tasks in heterosexual couples has been a popular topic in academic scholarship since the latter half of the twentieth century, few studies have explored how highly religious couples conceptualize and navigate these issues in addition to their unique and sometimes time-consuming religious responsibilities (Marks and Dollahite 2017) and in light of possible religious gender role expectations (Leavitt et al. 2021). Higher religiosity connects with multiple domains of higher marital satisfaction (McDonald et al. 2018; Olson et al. 2015), indicating it is not only religion, but levels of religious salience that influence marital happiness. In addition, research suggests that highly religious couples (as opposed to moderately or less religious) may have unique processes and connections between relationship constructs (Alisauskiene and Maslauskaite 2021; Brahma 2024; Gull and Geist 2020; Perry and Whitehead 2017).

As little research regarding gendered labor division has specifically examined these highly religious couples, we conducted an exploratory qualitative study. Qualitative research enables exploration where prior studies are lacking and is an ideal process to uncover thought processes and previously unidentified connections, but little qualitative research has addressed this issue in this specific population. The few studies that touch on it employ a restricted focus (e.g., Jewish traditionalist women in Israel; Yadgar 2006). The current study used a qualitative, exploratory approach to examine labor division processes across a wide range of denominations and ethnicities, exploring commonalities among highly religious couples and allowing themes to emerge from comments without predetermined, deductive categorization. Recognizing that labor division is not a solely individual task but requires negotiation between spouses, couples were interviewed together, and comments from both husbands and wives were included in the analysis.

We intentionally gathered a purposive sample of couples with exemplary dedication to their faith traditions and communities. Because our desire was to identify processes involved in successful relationships, we specifically sampled couples who were also highly satisfied with their marriages. Examining those couples who were both highly religious and highly satisfied enabled us to identify processes and decisions that exist in this nexus, essentially clarifying what labor division conceptualizations and behaviors work in highly religious, highly satisfied marriages. This type of purposive sampling is a well-established qualitative practice (Campbell et al. 2020), with the value of studying extreme ends of the spectrum recognized for over a century (James 1902). When studying individuals who exemplify the positive outcomes researchers desire to understand, this strengths-based, purposive sampling has been named “exemplar research” (Bronk 2012). Using this exemplar approach, our study analyzed interview data from 103 highly religious mixed-gender couples to probe the question: How do highly religious couples successfully navigate the complexities of labor division?

1.1. Literature Review

1.1.1. Conceptual Framework

Interdependence theory began as an offshoot of social exchange theory, which posits that in relationships people continually engage in cost–benefit analyses and act to maximize self-interest (Nakonezny and Denton 2008). According to interdependence theory, people are capable of caring not only about their own wellbeing but also the wellbeing of their partner and the relationship (Rusbult and Van Lange 2008); through a transformation of motivation, marriages can be “communal relationships” instead of “exchange relationships,” and a communal orientation promotes happier marriages (Le et al. 2018; Park et al. 2025). This shift in focus helped scholars explain more altruistic and team-oriented phenomena in marriages—such as sacrifice, equity, and commitment—that do not make much sense through a social exchange perspective (e.g., Powell and Van Vugt 2003). Applied to the division of labor, this theoretical perspective primes us to expect that in happy marriages partners will focus on overall perceived fairness (i.e., equity) and responding to each other’s needs rather than tit-for-tat exchanges (Park et al. 2025), and will experience “mutual cyclical growth” between trust, commitment, and sacrifice (Rusbult and Van Lange 2008). This means that the more partners trust each other, the more committed they are to one another, and the more they are willing to sacrifice for each other (including in the division of labor); then, as partners mutually sacrifice, trust grows.

1.1.2. Paid Labor Division

Division of labor is a prominent topic among scholars that is shown to be a notable predictor of individual and relational outcomes (Maas et al. 2018; Soltanpanah et al. 2018). Although the norm in the past was for men to be the primary breadwinners while their wives managed household affairs and cared for their children, more women have been entering the workforce in recent decades. Women are now making up nearly half of the US workforce, and surpassing men in college-educated employment (Hanek and Garcia 2022), but there are still a notable number of couples who choose to follow more traditional divisions of labor (Forste and Fox 2012).

Some studies indicate that family satisfaction is shown to be higher among those in traditional relationships (Forste and Fox 2012). However, other research suggests that a more egalitarian division of labor is predictive of greater gender role satisfaction, life satisfaction (Soltanpanah et al. 2018), and sexual satisfaction (Maas et al. 2018). Congruence between expectations and reality plays an important role in outcomes (Forste and Fox 2012), particularly for women (Holmes et al. 2012). For highly religious women, then, congruence between their beliefs about gender roles and their actual division of paid labor may be a significant factor. For highly religious couples working toward a communal relationship, within-couple congruence could increase trust, commitment, and interdependence.

1.1.3. Household Labor Division

While time spent in housework has decreased for both women and men since the mid-twentieth century, wives still tend to do more housework than men and unmarried women, particularly when they have traditional gender ideologies (Bianchi et al. 2000). Thus, marriage tends to increase the amount of time a woman spends on housework and decrease the amount of housework a man does. However, a broader perspective paints a more complex picture. For instance, when taking into consideration both childcare, paid work, and housework, fathers have a longer work week than mothers who do not engage in paid labor (Bianchi et al. 2012).

Research has indicated an association between satisfaction with division of labor and marital quality, suggesting that both husbands and wives find greater marital satisfaction when they are happy with the division of household labor (Galovan et al. 2014). However, Bianchi’s research cited above indicates that exploring how heterosexual couples reach mutual satisfaction with labor division is a complex topic that warrants further investigation. As more women entered the paid workforce, concerns about inequity in unpaid labor escalated, with women typically continuing to shoulder a greater share of the housework and meal preparation (Bartley et al. 2005), even when husbands were or became unemployed (Legerski and Cornwall 2010). The imbalanced load often carried by women included the household’s most constant, immediately pressing demands, such as meal preparation and laundry (Bartley et al. 2005; Forste and Fox 2012), as well as the “invisible labor” of anticipating needs, making decisions, and organizing schedules (Daminger 2019).

Although past findings have suggested that men are more satisfied when their wives do the bulk of domestic labor (Himsel and Goldberg 2003), more recent research found that equitable arrangements were linked with higher marriage satisfaction for husbands and wives (Forste and Fox 2012; Galovan et al. 2014). Despite the call for equity in the division of household labor, more traditional views of gendered roles persist, and some research has found positive relationships emerging between traditional gender role ideology and marital quality (Amato and Booth 1995). Although that trend may be changing (Davis et al. 2018), evidence continues to suggest that values play an important part in determining one’s feelings about labor division (Tartakovsky 2023); therefore, scholars have suggested the necessity of considering religious connections when examining gender role performance (Nyhagen 2017).

1.1.4. Religion and Gendered Division of Labor

Sociological research has linked higher religiosity with a tendency toward embracing traditional gender roles and a lower likelihood for women to join the workforce (Dildar 2015; Heineck 2004). In countries with a higher proportion of religious adherents, fewer women engage in higher education and paid labor (Schnabel 2016), but nuanced differences exist in European countries where Orthodox Christian and Muslim women tend to work less outside the home compared to agnostics, but Protestant Christian women tend to work more (Pastore and Tenaglia 2013). These findings suggest that the relationship between religion and female employment is complex and is likely influenced by various cultural and religious factors, including gender role ideology.

When probing gender roles and religion within marriage relationships, scholars have found that, while religious teachings tend to lean heavily toward encouraging traditional gender roles (Leavitt et al. 2021), religiosity does not always predict attitudes toward those roles (Davis et al. 2018; Leavitt et al. 2021; Nyhagen 2017). Furthermore, while traditional role ideologies can negatively predict marital satisfaction (Perry and Whitehead 2017), religiousness can be a positive predictor of marital satisfaction (Davis et al. 2018; McDonald et al. 2018). In addressing this apparent incongruence, Perry and Whitehead (2017) found that traditional gender role ideologies were associated with lower marital satisfaction, except when participants were highly religious women. These findings support work by other scholars suggesting that religious expectations about gender roles may moderate connections with outcomes (Davis et al. 2018; Leavitt et al. 2021; Nyhagen 2017), while highlighting the importance of considering the highly religious as a distinct population with a unique perspective.

1.1.5. Religion and Housework

Because of religion’s connection with traditional gender role ideologies (Leavitt et al. 2021) and with childbearing (Erát and Spéder 2025), scholars have probed connections between religion and housework distribution. While some evidence exists for religion to correlate with domestic labor inequity (Ellison and Bartkowski 2002), these associations appear to vary according to levels of religiosity and religious affiliation (Alisauskiene and Maslauskaite 2021; Bao et al. 2025; Ellison and Bartkowski 2002).

For instance, highly religious individuals in Lithuania practice more equality in childcare and housework than those who are not as religious (Alisauskiene and Maslauskaite 2021). The same is true in India, with women who are more involved in religion doing less housework and having more free time (Brahma 2024). Examining 34 countries across the world, scholars found that men who are more religious or who live in cultures that are more religious are likely to do more housework than those who are less religious or who live in cultures that are less religious (Gull and Geist 2020).

When including various denominations in the analyses, Christians and Buddhists tend toward more equality in domestic labor division than other religions in India (Brahma 2024). Within Christianity, however, research indicates that Evangelical Christian women do more housework than their non-Evangelical counterparts, which leads to a greater disparity in their household labor division (Ellison and Bartkowski 2002). The same proved true for young adult Catholics and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in comparison with other denominations (Bao et al. 2025). However, over time, the gender gap in housework performance decreased for Catholics and Latter-day Saints, while remaining stable for other denominations. Therefore, though women in these religious groups experienced greater household labor disparity than other groups in their younger years, later in life, they experienced less (Bao et al. 2025). This may reflect the fact that both of these religions encourage large families, and more children in the home can connect with greater domestic labor disparity (Bianchi et al. 2000).

Given the varying and sometimes conflicting findings regarding gendered work divisions and religion, more research is needed, especially regarding highly religious couples across a range of faith traditions. Qualitative approaches can be particularly effective in exploratory studies and in investigating the “how” and “why” in family relationships (Dollahite et al. 2019). As suggested by religious psychologist William James (1902), studying extreme examples of phenomena can provide important insights. Therefore, this exploratory qualitative study used strengths-based, “exemplar” methodology (Bronk 2012) to seek to explore commonalities in how highly religious, highly satisfied couples choose to conceptualize and navigate the division of labor inside and outside the home.

2. Materials and Methods

2.1. Sampling Procedures

While much of social science research focuses on deficits that need to be addressed, some scholars have pointed out that the corresponding need to identify successful processes may be most readily met by studying groups who demonstrate high levels of the attributes of interest, a process labeled “exemplar methodology” (Bronk 2012). In accordance with this strategy, data for this study were taken from the American Families of Faith project (AFF), a national research project aimed at examining processes in highly religious, highly satisfied couples. To identify highly religious families with high marital satisfaction, the majority of participants were recruited using a two-stage sampling design. First, religious leaders among various denominations were asked to identify couples in their congregations who had exemplary family relationships and were highly committed to their faith. Second, the identified families were contacted to determine whether they were willing to participate in and met the qualifications for the study. Snowball sampling was used to recruit couples from difficult-to-access religions (e.g., Islam, Orthodox Judaism). The vast majority of the resulting 261 families in this dataset consisted of couples who shared the same religion (89%), with some inter-faith couples (11%) intentionally sampled, where at least one partner reported high involvement in a religious community, but the spouses did not share the same religious community. To qualify for the study, both spouses in same-faith marriages and at least one spouse in inter-faith marriages self-reported themselves at an 8 or higher on a 0–10 scale of religiosity, and all couples reported an 8 or higher on relationship satisfaction. A full description of demographics for the entire AFF sample can be found on the project website (americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.edu).

2.2. Data Collection

After receiving IRB approval1 and the signing of informed consent forms, semi-structured interviews (m = 2–2.5 h) were conducted with each couple jointly, to respect boundaries between sexes that are considered appropriate in many religious communities. Joint interviews also allowed for the co-construction of responses as spouses edited and added to each other’s narratives, providing richer and more complete context, and acknowledging the interdependent nature of marital relationships. To mitigate concerns joint interviews could raise regarding honesty and power dynamics, researchers asked both spouses to respond to each question, alternating first responses and encouraging additional comments. Interviewers found that wives often edited husbands’ comments (as husbands also did for wives), even in religions with strict gendered tenets. Open-ended questions addressed various topics involving religion, marriage, and parenting. Gender-specific questions included, “Does your faith influence how you think about gender roles?” and “In your perspective, what is the role of a father/mother in the family?”

2.3. Data Selection

The present study drew data from a broader exploration of gender-related topics discussed during the interviews. Because many of these discussions arose spontaneously, and due to the prohibitive volume of material transcribed from 261 interviews, these gender-related data were initially identified through the text search function in NVivo 1.7.1 using words such as: gender roles, wives, husbands, women, and men. Allsop et al. (2022) recommended NVivo text search as a viable first step in open coding, and researchers have demonstrated the ability of this method to replicate findings of previous research that used methodical coding of entire interviews (Hendricks et al. 2023).” The data resulting from this initial text search were subsequently analyzed using traditional qualitative methods. Data were open-coded separately by two researchers who then met to reach consensus on the final codes (or categories in the data) and the placement of each referenced comment in those categories. Two codes that emerged from comments made by both women and men were “Household Labor Division” and “Providing Financially.” Because references in these categories included a variety of insightful perspectives, the researchers determined further analysis of these codes was warranted. The current study comprises the exploration of these topics.

2.4. Sample

We offer demographic information here for the 206 participants (103 couples) who discussed their division of household labor and financial provision and were therefore included in the current study. This sample included participants from all 8 socio-religious regions of the United States, as described by Silk and Walsh (2006). Data came from 18 African American families (17%), 4 Asian-American families (4%), 11 Arab American families (11%), 15 Hispanic families (15%), 5 Native American families (5%), 4 East Asian families (4%), with the remaining 46 families identifying as White (45%). While all participants identified as highly religious, religious affiliations varied widely and included 10 Black Christian couples, 7 Mainline Christian couples, 15 Muslim (including Shia and Sunni) couples, 20 couples from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 7 Jewish couples (Reform, Orthodox, Conservative), 14 Catholic/Orthodox couples, 14 Evangelical Christian couples, and 16 inter-faith couples.

Spouses ranged in age from 28 to 75, with an average in their forties (wives, M = 45; husbands, M = 48). Most individuals were in their first marriage, with an average marriage length of 20 years, and a range of 7 to 41 years married. All couples had at least one child, averaging 3.2 children per couple. Education ranged from high school diplomas (or an equivalent) to doctoral degrees. Of those who reported employment, nearly all husbands and 55% of wives were employed, with a significant minority of women being full-time homemakers. Additionally, many discussed during the course of their interviews that there had been numerous transitions of employment for both women and men.

2.5. Analytical Plan

To analyze the data regarding “household labor division” and “providing financially,” the first four authors of this paper performed open coding separately, then pairs of coders met to compare coding and move toward consensus on identified themes and subthemes (Marks 2015). Codebooks were created for the strongest subthemes. Researchers then separately recoded each reference to these finalized themes and subthemes before meeting to compare coding and discuss agreement. The percentage of references with full agreement between coders determined inter-rater reliability (Allsop et al. 2022). Inter-rater reliability for all core themes and subthemes exceeded 0.90.

3. Results

Because this study was exploratory with a focus on commonalities among highly religious mixed-gender couples, themes represent topics that were most salient across a wide variety of faith traditions and ethnicities. Due to our purposive exemplar sample, the huge majority of statements represent agreement between spouses, with a shared vision regarding division of labor.

Although highly religious individuals are often portrayed as traditional in their view of gender roles, our findings revealed a wide variety of perspectives in our highly religious sample. We present these perspectives via three core themes: (1) Opinions about Women in the Workforce, (2) Men’s Responsibility to Provide Financially, and (3) Diverse Approaches to Household Labor Division. Subthemes are also indicated for each theme. In a concerted effort to let the women and men speak for themselves (see Marks 2015), almost 50 verbatim excerpts from the in-depth interviews are shared to illustrate and buttress the presented themes and subthemes. Names have been changed to protect anonymity. A complete numeric content analysis is presented in

Table 1. Numeric Content Analysis of Themes and Subthemes.

Theme	No. of Interviews	No. of References
Theme 1: Opinions about Women in the Workforce	46	73
1a: Prioritizing Family Care over Career	10	12
1b: Women’s Right to Choose Employment	20	28
1c: Partnership in Financial and Familial Success	17	19
Theme 2: Men’s Responsibility to Provide Financially	72	118
2a: Men are Responsible for Providing	42	57
2b: Difficulties of Providing Financially	16	22
2c: Men’s Work Interferes with Family Life	13	14
Theme 3: Diverse Approaches to Household Labor Division:	41	61
3a: Accepting Traditional Gender Roles	30	40
3b: Difficulties with Traditional Labor Divisions	10	11
3c: Flexibility and Sharing Responsibilities	25	40
Total:	103	209

Some participants’ statements referred to more than one theme (e.g., a quote could express support of women’s right to choose employment while also discussing flexibility in household labor gender roles). Therefore, the total number of quotes is less than the sum of the individual references added together.

.

3.1. Theme 1: Opinions About Women in the Workforce

A prominent topic mentioned by participants when discussing labor division in the family was the possibility of women providing financially for their families. Seventy-three references in 46 interviews discussed this subject. Opinions on whether or not it was best to have women working outside the home tended to be dichotomous and often strongly worded, but within-couple disagreements on this issue did not emerge. While some participants emphasized prioritizing motherhood over careers, others emphasized a woman’s right to work outside the home if she desires. In both cases, statements emerged that focused on the need for committed partnership.

3.1.1. Theme 1, Concept A: Prioritizing Family Care over Career

A minority of our participants stated they were not in favor of women working outside the home during intensive mothering years. Though this approach required high levels of trust and sacrifice, these participants held a firm commitment to this traditional form of interdependence. The ten couples who specifically emphasized this approach (12 references) seemed to be unified in their beliefs and stressed the need to prioritize motherhood over careers while children were being raised. Roberto, a Hispanic, Latter-day Saint husband from the Mid-Atlantic, said,

The ideal is that the mother is able to stay home and take care of her children while the father is out in the work force. … I believe that the role of the mother is much more important [than a career] in the early years of the child.

Women also shared this view but sometimes reported external pressure against this position. Rose, a Latter-day Saint wife from the Northwest, shared her experience:

You know, people have often mentioned to me, ‘You have so much talent. What are you supposed to do with all this talent? You’re a hairdresser, and you’re not scared to get out and sing and act [so] why don’t you be in plays and do this and do that?’ In my heart, that doesn’t even tempt me. I go, ‘No, I’m a mom, I stay at home. I like that.’ That’s where I am. Lots of people … kept [saying], ‘You could make so much money, you know eighty dollars for a color, and this and that.’ It just was never even tempting.

Other participants expressed concern about working women taking on all familial responsibilities should their husbands not contribute to household labor. Hannah, a Modern Orthodox Jew from New England, said:

[People think] that women who get to work and take care of family [are] more liberated, but I think that’s more of an oppression that she has to take care of her household and outside. … If that’s supposed to be a liberated woman, I think it’s a joke.

Some families emphasized freedom of choice as women had careers at certain times in their lives and focused primarily on taking care of their children at others. Abby, a White, Evangelical Christian wife from New England, said, “[Staying at home is] partly for me. … And partly it’s because it seems like [a] necessity. But I had a choice about that.” Abby, Rose, and Hannah emphasized that they intentionally chose to stay out of the workforce so they could be home with their children, but other participants emphasized a different aspect of choice.

3.1.2. Theme 1, Concept B: Women’s Right to Choose Employment

Twelve highly religious couples spoke out strongly in favor of women having the right to choose paid employment (28 references). For many, this was a personal choice, as female participants reported either being in the workforce at the time of their interview, having been employed in the past, or having a desire to enter the workforce in the future. Others spoke of the rights of others. Yameen, a Shi’a Muslim husband originally from the Middle East, emphasized women’s right to work as a route to self-fulfillment:

Throughout the Muslim world, you have all of these women [whose] brains are being wasted, not being allowed to attend college. … I do not know what is the fix for that—to [make] sure that every Muslim woman around the world has the opportunity to work if they want to work, to get an education, if they want to get an education.

This perspective was also voiced by Leah, an Asian Buddhist in an inter-faith marriage with a Latter-day Saint husband. She said, “I want [my children] to know that … if your wife wants to work, then she should work—if that’s the family situation you find yourself in.” And Reva, a White Jewish wife from the Pacific region of the United States said, “I’m a feminist. I believe that women should be paid the same, have the same opportunities [as] men.” Bushra, an Arab-American Muslim wife from the South said,

[A Muslim] woman doesn’t have to work outside of the house, but it is their choice whether they want to or not. It means they are not given [the] task of providing [financially] for their family; the men are. … In Islam, it is the right of the women to choose whether they want to work or not.

Repeatedly, we saw special emphasis placed upon women’s right to choose whether they wanted to enter the workforce. Choice emerged in the next subtheme as well but with more complexity.

3.1.3. Theme 1, Concept C: Partnership in Financial and Familial Success

Regardless of whether participants spoke in support of or in opposition to females providing financially, statements on the importance of partnership in marriage were frequently mentioned as a vital part of the decision (17 couples, 19 references). They recognized the interdependent nature of their relationship and the necessity of committing to working together. It was of great importance for these families to have stability in both financial and domestic areas of life. Speaking about this balance, Carlita, a Hispanic Latter-day Saint wife, said, “Either the woman or the man [should stay home]. If she decides to work, [he should say,] ‘OK, I’ll work in the house but one of us has to be there [for the kids].’”

Sometimes participants found traditional roles to be most effective for maintaining the two areas of stability, while some stressed less conventional roles, as illustrated by Destiny, a Black Christian wife from the Northwest, speaking of her own parents’ division of labor:

[My] mother managed the money, and my father managed the children. Even though he worked full-time and she worked full-time, he was the best one to be with the children and spent the [most] time with us. A lot of the parenting that I brought to my own children I learned from my dad. … I learned consistency with my children and boundaries for my children [and] the importance of training them with different skills from my mother, but I learned how to nurture my children from my father.

Tanya, a Black Latter-day Saint wife from the South, explained the benefits of shared responsibility:

The Black woman has always had to be a strong person to take care of the family. I think … that role needs to maybe shift a little bit, because sometimes Black women … feel like they’ve got to be the one. The survival of the family is … on their shoulders. And sometimes I think they take that … too far. Maybe they can just be partners. And then the [burden] of the responsibilities [is] not just on the woman.

Similarly, referencing partnership, Dmisha, a Jewish wife from New England, explained,

We can’t live here on one income. Not in our age group. There are people who live here on one income, but they bought the house 30 years ago. We bought this house four years ago. It takes both of us [working] to make it financially.

Other couples expressed how they had to make sacrifices to maintain both financial and familial wellbeing. David, a Conservative Jewish husband from the Mid-Atlantic region, explained the type of compromise he and his wife, Rebekah, had determined would work best for their family:

She’s not working right now. Part of that arrangement is that she does whatever it takes for me to go earn my income … keeping my focus on bringing home the paycheck big enough that she doesn’t have to work, which is a challenge. It’s a big challenge not to have that extra income.

These statements indicate an overarching perspective that couples need to identify what aspects of the family require attention, then find the best way to address them. The need for partnership and balance also emerged in the next theme but with an emphasis on husbands’ responsibilities.

3.2. Theme 2: Men’s Responsibility to Provide Financially

While differing opinions emerged regarding women providing financially, responses about men providing financially were much more uniform. Of the 118 comments from 72 interviews, the majority emphasized the man’s role of providing for his family. Even as they embraced this traditional responsibility, some participants also commented on the difficulties it presented, both in the workplace and at home.

3.2.1. Theme 2, Concept A: Men Are Responsible for Providing

Forty-two couples specifically addressed financial provision as the primary role of husbands, one that embodies sacrifice, trust, and interdependence in a powerful way. This role was either clearly articulated as a consecrated role or mentioned in passing as though there was no need to dwell on such an obvious responsibility. Consuella, a Hispanic Latter-day Saint wife living in the Mid-Atlantic region, explained that a good father is “someone who directs the home, having a good spirit, and is able to [balance] between providing for the family and being home with the family.” Yuusif, an Arab-American, Muslim husband from New England, described his role as being “the provider and the overall shepherd.”

José, a Hispanic Catholic husband living in the Mountain West, felt that this should be the man’s responsibility, even if a woman wants to “develop herself professionally.” He said, “The mother is a mother, which is something that the father will never be able to be.” José emphasized that he taught his children about gender role responsibility in the home. He said,

I think with the daughters it has been different. … With the sons, always teaching the responsibility of well, “You are the one who has to make an effort to treat [your] spouse well. You are the one who is going to have to provide. You are going to have to go out to work. You are going to have to make an effort so that your family is well—not to think that your wife has to help you. … If that happens, fine, but don’t let it be necessary.”

Antonio, a Hispanic, Latter-day Saint husband, said the most important thing for a father to do is “To work for the wellbeing of the family. To provide and always show a good example as a father.” Similarly, Al, a White, Latter-day Saint husband living in an inter-faith marriage in the South, said that his most important role as a father was “to be a good example of a breadwinner, … show [the children] the importance of hard work. Going to work and providing for them.” Kristi, a White, Latter-day Saint wife from the Mid-Atlantic said that she felt a father’s role was, “Someone that is going to provide for their family and show a good example, out there working for their family and teaching them how to respect people and showing them the way [to] live.” For these participants, providing was a source of meaning and example, in addition to financial security.

This concept was expanded upon as participants emphasized the importance of fathers providing for their families in a variety of ways, but always with financial provision in the background. When asked about the most important thing to do as a father, Hans, a White, Methodist husband from the Midwest, responded, “Providing for their welfare.” Lorraine, his wife, added, “But I mean emotionally, too. You help them feel that this is a safe place.” Similar sentiments were expressed by a Hispanic Latter-day Saint husband named Patricio, who discussed the meaning behind his role as a father, saying,

[It is] for them to always count on me, not only when they need something financially—which is the case sometimes—but that they can realize that their dad will always be there … doing everything [he can] for them.

Participants also shared personal benefits of having dependable father figures in their own lives. In a moment of reflection, Susan, a Baptist wife from the South, recalled memories of her father, who passed away when she was 28. She said,

[My father was] a man that provided for everything I needed or wanted. He didn’t show his love in a physical way a whole lot, and I don’t know if I ever heard the words, ‘I love you’ from him. But I knew he did. … He gave me all the material things and the love … that I needed.

Like Susan, many participants stressed the valuable role they felt fathers played in providing financially, but many also noted the complications inherent in that role, as discussed next.

3.2.2. Theme 2, Concept B: Difficulties of Providing Financially

Although the role of providing financially appeared to have significant meaning for many of the fathers in our sample, this role also created some difficulties, with sacrifice required on the part of both spouses. Sixteen couples (22 comments from husbands and wives) addressed these difficulties, beginning with the challenges of only having one source of income. Destiny, a Black Christian wife from the Northwest, explained the difficulty associated with transitioning from two incomes to completely relying on her husband’s income alone. She said,

When we first got married, I was very independent and didn’t need to rely on him to support me [financially]. But after we had children, my heart began to change because I wanted to be home with them, and I had to shift from being that [independent] woman—which I think he appreciated—to … totally relying on him financially. And that … was a real faith walk. Where does the income come [from] now?

Terrell, a Black Baptist husband from the South, emphasized the systemic barriers placed in front of men attempting to provide for their families, such as low wages. He said,

If you be a family man and you gotta work two or three jobs like that, then my heart … it’s just like, is this it? You know? And then you tryin’ to do the best you can, tryin’ to budget that, tryin’ to help your kid. … [Y]ou can only earn so much.

The stress of being able to provide financially for their family was not the only source of frustration related to work, however. Yameen, an Arab-American, Shi’a Muslim husband, noted that his religious beliefs had also created some challenges in his career. He said,

There are some social aspects of things that are going on after work—meetings in bars and things…that, of course, I can’t attend, and I actually do not want to attend. … There are some events when people have certain parties and everything. … [My religion has] an effect as far as limiting how much involvement I can have with them and [as far as] … my progression goes … in work.

While husbands spoke of these difficulties, they remained faithful to what they saw as a sacred stewardship. Still, for some participants, the roles of provider and father collided as difficulties associated with the workplace were overshadowed by difficulties the workplace created at home.

3.2.3. Theme 2, Concept C: Men’s Work Interferes with Family Life

Participants (13 couples, 14 references) shared experiences where the role of provider negatively affected their family relationships. Ed, a White, Seventh-day Adventist husband from New England, complained that “The occupation diverts my attention from my family. And it seems it prevents me from fulfilling much of what I ought to be doing—or am instructed to do—my obligational role in the family.” Indeed, many of the husbands in our sample disliked the extent to which their work interfered with family relationships. Aaron, a Lutheran husband from the Pacific region, noted, “I was working Sundays. I felt cheated that I couldn’t be a part of what the family was doing [at church and home on the sabbath].”

Yaxin, a Chinese Christian wife from the Southern Crossroads region, shared about how the demands from her husband’s work negatively affected their family relationships. She said,

Deshi was tired after working a whole day. Sometimes he did not speak softly or even lost his temper. The wife side [of me] could not endure. [I thought], ‘I worked hard on [the] household. Why [were you] angry [at] me?’

Similar frustrations were shared as Fadilla, an Arab-American, Shi’a Muslim wife, noted how her husband’s colleagues’ work interfered with their involvement in their families. She said,

I know so many other consultants’ wives [who] feel that their husbands are not married to them, they’re married to work. Because the moment they come from work, they take a quick meal, and [then] he has to get busy [again].

However, this daily struggle did not discourage one Black, Latter-day Saint father from the South. Anthony shared how, despite being away from his family because of work, he still felt he was able to play an integral role in his children’s lives. He said,

You have a male like me where most of my life has been work out of town, [and] the mother had the children a lot by herself. But when I’m here, they see a male figure; they see their dad loving them. And that means a lot to a boy and a young lady. That means a lot to them.

As has been explored in this theme, most of our participants expressed belief in the man’s traditional responsibility to provide financially, despite the sacrifices required. However, many husbands also desired to be highly involved with their families, and many wives worked outside the home. These realities yielded varied responses about the gendered division of household labor, as outlined in our final theme.

3.3. Theme 3: Diverse Approaches to Household Labor Division

Forty-one couples shared 61 varied comments regarding household labor division. Although many of these arose spontaneously, others emerged in response to the question, “Does your faith influence how you think about gender roles in marriage?” While 30 couples (40 statements) supported traditional divisions of labor, difficulties regarding those divisions were also mentioned by 10 couples, and 25 couples shared 40 statements supporting more flexibility with responsibilities.

3.3.1. Theme 3, Concept A: Accepting Traditional Gender Roles

Most participants in this study recognized and acknowledged the salience and persistence of traditional gender roles in married relationships and households. Although some expressed a desire to escape these roles, 30 couples recommended such roles as a way to maintain stability and balance. They expressed a deep, unified belief in interdependence through division of labor by gender, with men being primarily responsible for providing financially for the family and women being primarily responsible for childcare and household labor. This required trust and commitment on the part of both spouses.

Yuusif, an Arab-American Muslim father who previously described his role to be “a provider and overall shepherd,” expanded upon this viewpoint by stating that the maternal role “is more towards teaching and caring for children and raising them up as good human beings—because they spend a lot more time with the children. Those are the two primary roles.” David, a Jewish husband mentioned earlier, whose wife Rebekah “does whatever it takes for me to go earn my income,” expanded upon this statement as he said,

The women ran the house, and the men made it possible for the women to run the house. That’s my role. I don’t do well with dishes and stuff … but she doesn’t mow the grass and fix the cars and do the outside stuff. Our roles—the purpose is to keep life moving.

Kira, an Evangelical Christian wife, expressed her belief that traditional roles were “necessary.” She said,

Ross does finances, [and he is the] major breadwinner. I work part-time [and] I clean the house. So, we’re talking traditional roles. [I was] home with the kids … outside of neighborhood work and part-time when they were in school. It’s a luxury [to be at home with the kids]. But it’s a very necessary part of child-rearing, which gets ignored … a lot. … And I think it’s all relative, [depending] on how much money you want to live off.

Kira expressed belief in the importance of her role as mother and homemaker, while still recognizing that this choice had economic ramifications. She described it as a “luxury,” recognizing it could be impossible for others. Some participants embraced traditional gender roles as a way for couples to focus on tasks they felt best suited for. For others, like Israel, an Orthodox Jewish husband from the Pacific region, roles were prescribed by religious and cultural customs:

She’s in charge of the house, the kashrut, the kitchen … and I don’t … come in and say, ‘Are you doing that right?’ It’s like, ‘Hey, you’re in charge, you have the expertise, and I defer to you. Whatever you say, this is the way it is.’

Although not all participants accepted traditional labor divisions, even those who were less enthusiastic about them had difficulty breaking free from them. A Baptist husband named Jared acknowledged, “We have high ideals about not being stuck in gender roles, but I think it often just ends up being that way.” Apparently, defaulting to traditional gender roles seemed to be the path of least resistance for some participants. Still, even on this more familiar path, complexities and conflict sometimes arose.

3.3.2. Theme 3, Concept B: Difficulties with Traditional Labor Division

Whether participants fell into traditional patterns by unintentional default or esteemed traditional roles as divine stewardship, the difficulties mentioned in the realm of household labor revolved around these traditional roles (rather than more flexible approaches). Importantly, this was the only theme where disagreement between spouses became apparent. Even in these highly satisfied marriages, 10 couples referenced these difficulties. Some participants referred to a lack of harmony regarding this controversial terrain. One participant, Neal, an Orthodox Christian husband from the Pacific region, expressed frustration over the expectation that he should contribute equally to household tasks. “I mean, I still don’t think I should clean up around the house and stuff like that because I work so hard in the office all day, so we get in a lot of fights about that.” Neal’s perspective reflects the difficulty of subverting traditional gender roles and expectations around labor division.

Interestingly, the majority of references coded to this theme came from wives. For instance, one participant named Julie, a Latter-day Saint wife from New England, flatly stated to her husband during their interview, “Well, I’d like it if you vacuumed more.” Rose, who opened our findings section with her statement on her fervent desire to stay in the home as a mom, described the internal conflict she sometimes experienced:

Some days I’m really creative and [feel like] I’m wasting all my talent, doing dishes and scrubbing floors. I could be in Hollywood; I could be something. Men get a certain sense of fulfillment by being out in the world, you know? [They] get a certain amount of praise. [Women] have to find that praise on a more spiritual level—on a more looking across the ocean to the future … because cleaning toilets again, cleaning off the sink counter a hundred times, and reminding the kids that you need to pick up something is not very glamorous. In your good moments, when you’re thinking right, it’s worth every minute.

Rose’s experience highlights the tension between personal fulfillment and adherence to traditional gendered labor division. Her perspective reflects the struggle that many stay-at-home parents may face in balancing their home responsibilities with their personal ambitions and vocational desires.

Joelle, a Black Christian wife from the Northwest, discussed the struggle to prioritize her own desires over her husband’s needs in regard to labor division, saying,

Sometimes when you don’t want to do the right thing, [God’s] Word is always before you. Sometime[s] when you say, ‘I am tired of cooking for him. I am tired of having to come up with something to eat … I’m not going to do it; And the Word flashes before you: ‘Is that agape love? … If you go ahead and make that meal for him, I’ll make you feel so satisfied [with] the fact that you made that meal, that your need will still be taken care of.’ You see? That’s where the Word comes in, even in something that you don’t want to do in marriage. … You don’t always want to do everything that you have to do when you’re married. You just don’t.

In her reflection, Joelle references the concept of agape love, or selfless, Godly love, which involves putting the needs and wellbeing of others before one’s own desires and interests. Her perspective reflects the challenge of balancing personal autonomy with the demands of a relationship, particularly in the context of a sacred sense of responsibility. We now turn to a final concept that mitigates these difficulties for some: flexibility and sharing responsibilities.

3.3.3. Theme 3, Concept C: Flexibility and Sharing Responsibilities

While traditional gender roles were accepted in 40 comments about household labor, an equal number of comments (from 25 couples) shared experiences with flexibility in gender roles, with households adapting to new norms and expectations. They embraced sacrifice and interdependence through sharing tasks as mutual responsibilities. Lance, an Orthodox Jewish husband, said,

Our household is a strange household … because we [don’t do] things the way a lot of people do. First of all, I’m retired even though I have my own business. But, by and large, I quit work on Friday [in] the early afternoon. And while we do have a woman who comes in and cleans the house to help us because we both work [outside the home], there is a general straightening up of the household by myself. I do most of the shopping—not all of it. I do most of the cooking—not all of it. … So that when [my wife] comes home, especially in the wintertime, she walks in the house and it is ‘Go change your clothes; dinner’s about to be ready.’ … So, in this household, it’s that way.

Lance’s household defied traditional gender roles as he did many of the household tasks, including cooking and straightening up the house so that, when his wife came home from work, she would have a well-managed household where she could relax and they could observe the Jewish sabbath together.

Similarly, Erin, an Episcopalian wife from New England, said, “Our gender roles are very mixed. We both work full-time and we both do most of the things that need to be done [at home].” She gestured to her husband, “I mean, I guess you mow the lawn and I do more of the laundry, but other than that there’s not an awful lot of typical gender divisions.” From this perspective, both parents worked full-time and shared household responsibilities as needed. We also saw this pattern in Jake and Abby, an Evangelical Christian couple:

Jake: In one way we are the typical gender stereotypes. … I’m running the money and Abby’s not, but there are a lot of other ways in which we … fly in the face of them. … For example, Abby is much more handy around the house than I am.

Abby: And Jake likes to vacuum. … He bakes bread and vacuums and washes up.

Shared domestic responsibility was again emphasized in the words of Destiny, a Black Christian wife, who said, “Sharing of responsibilities … wasn’t just a man’s thing and the woman’s thing. It was our thing. Do what you’re strongest at. That way it gets done, and it gets done best.” This advice highlighted the importance of both partners contributing equally, intentionally, and optimally to household tasks, regardless of gender roles or stereotypes. A similar sentiment was expressed by Kathy, a White Catholic wife who said, “We [tried] to share so much [from] the beginning. Everything’s equal. Share, share.” The participants’ quotes referenced in this latter theme were indicative of the value they attributed to collaborative efforts toward household labor, in which both partners’ strengths were utilized to ensure that tasks were completed efficiently and effectively.

3.4. Cultural Context

The goal of this study was to explore labor division commonalities in highly religious couples across a wide variety of faith traditions. Given the tremendous diversity of the sample (e.g., 20+ denominations, 20+ countries of origin, an array of races and ethnicities, and widely varying SES status), it was impossible to do systematic, cross-group comparisons of the data based on large sub-samples. However, we found that references in the majority of our themes and subthemes spread quite evenly across races, religions, and genders. Although not included in the systematic analyses or the numeric content analysis (NCA), the first author did note some interesting exceptions to this pattern.

As mentioned, difficulties with household labor were most often referenced by wives, rather than husbands, probably due to traditional expectations surrounding household labor for women. In contrast, difficulties surrounding providing financially were mentioned by both men and women, but important differences appeared between races. Racial minorities, especially Black and Hispanic participants, made most of the comments regarding difficulty with earning a livelihood. The few White participants who talked about such difficulties generally lived in areas where the cost of living was very high. In addition, every one of the Black families interviewed had been a two-employee household at some point, and this was the modal arrangement.

This contrasted with White families in high-tension faiths—those religions that require more extreme divergence from cultural norms (Stark and Finke 2000). For White families in these faiths (e.g., Orthodox Judaism, Islam, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), the tendency was toward full-time motherhood. Furthermore, most of the participants who expressed a firm belief that women should be home with their children rather than in the workforce belonged to high-tension Christian faiths. Although Muslims also discussed this topic, their comments referred to other people having misperceptions about women engaging in paid labor. The participants themselves emphasized a woman’s right to work.

Finally, there was an interesting emphasis among inter-faith couples on work outside the home. While only one inter-faith couple discussed household labor division (expressing both acceptance of some traditional roles and some role flexibility), comments about financial provision in this subset were plentiful, with a positive emphasis regarding paid labor for women in the workforce. Still, many of the inter-faith couples also held strong positions in favor of men being the primary breadwinners for the family. In fact, although inter-faith couples comprised approximately one-tenth of the sample, over one-fifth of the families who stated men had the responsibility to provide financially for their family were inter-faith couples.

4. Discussion

The current study employed exemplar methodology, analyzing 103 interviews of diverse, highly religious, highly satisfied, mixed-gender married couples throughout the United States to explore how they successfully navigate the intricacies of dividing paid and household labor. While 35 couples emphasized women staying home with their children and traditional gender roles, 25 utilized a more flexible approach to dividing their workload. The complexities of these gender role dynamics emerged as participants spoke of challenges regarding the male role of providing, difficulties arising from traditional household labor division, and the importance of working together in shared family responsibilities.

Division of labor is a facet of married life where the interdependence of partners and the complexity of navigating each partner’s feelings and needs are evident. In this study, the highly satisfied couples seemed to exhibit communal relationships (Le et al. 2018; Park et al. 2025) wherein partners expressed a willingness to sacrifice, a sense of teamwork, and a focus on each partner’s needs, regardless of the specific approach to division of labor. Trust, commitment, and sacrifice seemed to mutually reinforce each other as couples navigated paid and unpaid work (Rusbult and Van Lange 2008). Some participants expressed that equity was an important value in their marriage, but we did not see evidence of tit-for-tat exchanges, again suggesting that these couples had communal—not exchange—relationships. It seems noteworthy that, based on our findings, communal relationships are possible with a variety of approaches to division of labor; the key seems to lie in the quality and nature of the couple relationship rather than the actual division itself. While reports of traditional role division match some research (Dildar 2015; Heineck 2004) and reports of egalitarian role division line up with other research (Alisauskiene and Maslauskaite 2021), what stands out in this study is the highly satisfied marriages of the participants in both arrangements. Thus, how couples divide labor may be less important than the degrees of mutually reinforcing trust, commitment, and sacrifice that accompany these decisions, as well as their shared vision regarding labor division. Additionally, these findings suggest that a sense of equity and deep appreciation may be achieved in marriage, regardless of how the labor is divided.

Many of the participants (35 couples) held traditional gender ideologies regarding paid and household labor, which could be expected given that highly religious couples have been shown to embrace more traditional gender role beliefs (Dildar 2015; Forste and Fox 2012). This was especially apparent in the themes about women and men providing financially, with many women valuing their role as mothers and men valuing their role as providers. Although changing trends show a departure from the traditional division of labor (Davis et al. 2018) and current financial constraints often make living on one income impossible, gendered roles involving males providing financially while women bear the responsibility for household concerns reportedly worked well for many of our highly religious couples with strong, exemplary marriages.

One of the most prominent findings (from 42 couples) in this study was that husbands felt it was their role to provide, which aligns with past research (Legerski and Cornwall 2010; Nomaguchi and Johnson 2016). Particularly noteworthy is the strength of this finding—with 57 references—in relation to 12 comments suggesting women should prioritize childcare over employment. This implies that highly religious individuals may hold more strongly to traditional male roles than to traditional female roles. Many participants had positive experiences relying on a husband or father to provide for them financially and in other ways and seemed to view that role as sacred. Others held this as an ideal but acknowledged that their families needed two incomes to get by, highlighting the reality that religious ideals sometimes conflict with practical circumstances, so may not be fully reflected in labor division practices. Additionally, many participants who did not experience a father providing financially in their family of origin showed by their actions that they were unwilling to place all of their proverbial eggs in a single financial basket, assuring the wife had the skills and experience to provide for her family if need be.

Twenty-five couples in our sample chose to adopt more egalitarian roles and reportedly divided paid and household labor more equally. This appeared to be a positive thing for these families as it helped them financially and helped some women find purpose outside of the home. An important element of egalitarian divisions of labor may be the woman’s ability to choose whether or not (and how much) she works (Holmes et al. 2012). This point was emphasized by 20 couples, with phrases such as “I had a choice,” and “it is [her] choice.” Even some couples who held traditional values reported that wives should be able to choose. This underscores the fact that traditional gender ideologies may not negate simultaneous support for women in the workplace.

While only 10 couples mentioned difficulties surrounding household labor, the difficulties mentioned were related to dissatisfaction with traditional roles, where women felt trapped doing the household chores, or men felt they did not need to help at home because they worked all day outside of the home. Past research has found that couples reported greater marital satisfaction when they were satisfied with the division of household labor (Galovan et al. 2014), which may occur more often when household tasks are divided equally. Importantly, the 36 references regarding the difficulties of men providing financially were more than three times as common as references about household labor difficulties, indicating that struggles in this realm may be even more salient than in domestic labor.

Implications, Limitations, and Future Directions

The findings from this study may benefit practitioners in their efforts to help couples navigate divisions of labor. When working with highly religious couples, therapists should consider that religion often influences ideas about gender roles, and those ideas can create or mitigate difficulties. Additionally, therapists should be aware that for highly religious couples with convergent views, a sense of equality could be achieved with traditional or egalitarian roles.

Perhaps the most important limitation of this study was the fact that the sample consisted of highly satisfied couples, most of whom were in their first marriage and had been married for an average of about 20 years. Therefore, findings cannot be applied to religious couples at large. Indeed, while many of these participants embraced traditional roles regarding paid employment and household labor and seemed to navigate those successfully, relational conflict, power inequalities, and marital dissolution in other, less harmonious relationships could make such labor divisions inadvisable. Particularly for spouses whose situations involve abuse or divorce, maintaining opportunities for employment, as well as developing basic household skills, would lead to better outcomes than limiting one’s abilities through sharply traditional labor divisions.

This study had several other limitations. First, we employed purposive sampling, which makes the data neither representative nor generalizable. Furthermore, we did not systematically examine differences related to race or religious affiliation, although both race and denomination could be influential in determining how couples divide household and paid labor.

Given the emphasis in our data on men providing financially and difficulties associated with employment, future research could explore work–life balance in the context of highly religious couples with traditional gender role ideologies and those with egalitarian perspectives.

5. Conclusions

This qualitative study used purposive sampling and an interdependence theoretical framework to explore the perspectives of highly religious, highly satisfied couples regarding the division of paid and household labor. Discussions about the difficulties of men’s and women’s traditional roles comprised three themes, and while most participants embraced the need for men to provide financially for their families, beliefs about women’s careers and household labor division appeared more diverse. The perspectives of the participants highlight that there may not be a single “optimal” approach for highly religious couples in balancing paid and household labor, but that this balance requires continual, unified effort. One key factor seemed to be within-couple congruence, allowing communal relationships to flourish with both partners on the same proverbial page. The need for partnership appeared in multiple themes, with interdependent trust, commitment, and sacrifice between spouses emerging in discussions regarding traditional roles as well as in more flexible labor arrangements.