Sexuality beyond Chastity: Negotiating Gender Intimacy and Sexuality within Roman Catholic Religious Communities in Poland

Abstract

In late modernity both religion and sexuality are being elaborated in terms of reflexivity. In this article, we present findings from our research on the topic of constructions of gender, intimacy and sexuality by sisters and brothers in Catholic monasteries in Poland. The findings are based on the mixed-method transformative connection between qualitative (n = 92) and representative sample quantitative research (n = 1543) conducted in 2020. We studied reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality within Catholic religious communities in Poland in order to understand how gender, intimacy and sexuality are presented in the institutionalized framework of religious life. Our study demonstrates that reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality is highly institutionalised and deeply privatized within Catholic religious communities. The article shows that reflexivity of consecrated persons in Poland on gender, intimacy and sexuality is strongly shaped by religious norms (chastity) and subordinated to their religious roles.

1. Introduction

In late modernity, intimacy, gender and sexuality are being elaborated in terms of categories of reflexivity (Adkins 2002; Walby 2010; Beggan and Allison 2003). Even in the institutionalized context reflexivity about constructions of sexuality and intimacy plays an important role. However, today, most scientific articles covering the topic of gender and sexuality in the context of the religious life focus on sexual abuse. In this approach, the focus is on pathological practices; to our best knowledge, there is only one study that seeks to scrutinise the topic of gender and sexuality in the context of consecrated life beyond questions of sexual abuse and theological models. Marta Trzebiatowska (2013),1 claims that ‘unsurprisingly, nuns’ chastity has always attracted curiosity and speculation from the lay public (Fessenden 2000; McNamara 1996, pp. 569–71). It has been understood in relatively narrow terms: as a denial of one’s sexual identity, or simply as abstinence from sexual intercourse’ (Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 208). In contrast to these approaches, Trzebiatowska’s studies focus on the shaping of consecrated femininity based on qualitative research interviews conducted with 35 Polish women religious. She shows ‘how Catholic nuns manage their femininity in the convent and how they contribute to the plurality of experiences of gender’ (Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 205). Trzebiatowska (2013) adds to her conclusion that consecrated masculinity draws more attention than consecrated femininity.

Hence, are consecrated persons unreflective about their sexuality? Looking at the contemporary debate on sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, the question seems problematic. However, we should examine it further: is sexual abuse a result of an incorrect formation process, or does it result from the natural, sexual drive that if blocked will seek to find other ways of realisation? Or perhaps—as others suggest—it is the product of the institution? We will not address these complicated issues here, yet, we believe that our study contributes to this broader problem—we will show how religious people understand their sexuality and gender. The problem is relevant in the context of our research not only because of the social problems to which it is linked, but also because of the tension that is in the very centre of our methodological approach. In asking the question, are woved religious sexless? we see that two layers conflict: theological views with social embeddedness.

From a theological point of view, vows of chastity may be read almost as a renunciation of sexuality—the Catholic theology of sexuality (if we may even use that term) strives for chastity and hence, hardly develops the positive aspects of human sexuality. Yet, when we look at the theological model, brothers and sisters appear as angelic, sexless, genderless individuals, having renounced their sexual needs by taking vows of chastity. As Rebecca J. Lester sums up, Catholicism defines sexuality as,

a potentially dangerous force to be carefully controlled. Pre-marital and extramarital sex are deemed mortal sins, as is masturbation. Birth control and abortion are prohibited. No one but God, the church contends, should decide when to create—or to destroy—a human life. […] As specialists in the faith, Catholic priests and nuns must give particular attention to the maintenance of bodily purity by removing themselves physically from the world and remaining celibate in their service to the church.

(Lester 2005, p. 34)

The religious make vows of three evangelical counsels (chastity, obedience and poverty). The vow of chastity is not equal to celibacy as celibacy is not theologically mandatory. In contrast to celibacy, chastity is treated as a theological and mandatory concept in religious life. The suspension of celibacy would have no effect on the chaste life of the religious. Consecrated life is constituted by ‘chastity’ which means the formation of sexuality in relationship to personal identity. The concept of chastity in modern Catholic theology is presented in personalistic terminology as an ‘integration of sexuality within the person’ (Wojtyla [1969] 1979).

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of a person in his/her bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which human’s belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman. The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1993, p. 2337).

If we refer to ethnographic studies, we can approach the topic of chastity from an alternative direction: based on her field studies in a Mexican convent, Rebecca J. Lester defines chastity as:

… giving the most intimate part of yourself to God. It is a renunciation, a sacrifice. But, as with all sacrifices the sisters are asked to make, they consider it a renunciation not simply for the sake of renunciation but for the love of Christ.

(Lester 2005, p. 73)

She claims that the vow has two primary purposes: spiritual and practical:

On the spiritual side, remaining chaste is an emulation of divinity and particularly of Mary, who, in their understanding, achieved the most sublime state of motherhood and of marriage through her chastity […] purity of the body in this sense represents a willingness to preserve all of one’s valuable ‘feminine’ characteristics (such as servitude, humility, caring, and generosity) for the service of God alone […] On the practical side, chastity is meant to free a woman from intense emotional commitments to particular people so that she can direct all her love and care to the poor in the service of God. Chastity in this context is considered to be evidence of fraternity, of loving everyone in one’s life equally, without special favour.

(Lester 2005, p. 73)

While the Second Vatican Council (1962–1965) sought to modernise religious life, it did not elaborate upon the topic of sexuality. Patricia Wittberg claims that reforms focused on the vows of obedience and poverty while ‘chastity was left relatively untouched, yet remaining the one vow that set apart consecrated persons from laity’ (Wittberg 1994, p. 249; after Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 208). Attitudes towards chastity began to evolve later:

For example, prior to the 1960s the prescriptive model of a ‘good sister’ dictated avoidance of eye contact with men or denial of sexual feelings (Bernstein 1976). Conversely, in the post-Vatican II years, convent rulebooks encouraged nuns to become closer to lay people and rectify the negative stereotypes of religious communities as unworldly and restrictive.

(Wittberg 1994, p. 250; after Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 208)

Wittberg claims that currently, the topic of body and sexuality is integrated into the process of formation of sisters ‘in order to make nuns fully aware of their humanity and femininity as well as to look after their mental and spiritual health’ (Wittberg 1994, p. 250; after Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 208).

Trzebiatowska highlights that these changes took place in Poland after the transition from Communism in 1989, that is, 30 years later:

This belated convent renewal in Poland manifested itself, among other things, in the promotion of a different attitude towards the formation process. Gradually, femininity became a fundamental element of consecrated life and sisters were prompted to express their sense of gender identity and to reflect on the meaning it held for them.

(Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 208)

Trzebiatowska claims that in Poland, consecrated women negotiate dominant models of femininity. Chaste femininity ‘does not necessarily emerge out of resistance to and subversion of the male-dominated Polish Catholic Church. Rather, it exemplifies a case of generative agency which transcends the compliance/resistance model’ (Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 205).

Our study aimed to show how Catholic exhortations are reflexively elaborated by their main adherents: men and women religious. From a methodological point of view, we claim that in order to understand the topic of sexuality within the context of religious life, we must engage with people’s experiences and observe their various tensions with institutional objectives.

So, how do we understand sexuality here? Of course, sexuality is socially constructed (Fischer et al. 2016). However, within this study we do not seek to explore how sexuality is being socially constructed but we aim at grasping how consecrated persons lived out their sexuality in the institutional environment. It also means that we do not assume a specific definition of sexuality but follow what comes out of individuals’ narratives. We do not want to, for instance, assess the level of oppression but uncover how our participants understand it. The understanding of sexuality in this study represents the self-understanding, the way of communication and reflexivity of the researched persons. It means that we study the way sexuality is reflected upon individual and community discourses. The same applies to gender understood as socially constructed characteristics of women and men which include norms, behaviors and roles.

2. Negotiating Sexuality

We frame our analyses within the lived-religion approach (Ammerman 2007; McGuire 2008; Orsi 2003) which allows the uncovering of tensions and intersections between individual experience concerning gender, intimacy and sexuality and its religious institutional setting and social roles:2

‘The interpretive challenge of the study of lived religion is to develop the practice of disciplined attention to people’s signs and practices as they describe, understand, and use them, in the circumstances of their experiences, and to the structures and conditions within which these signs and practices emerge. It includes the work of social agents/actors themselves as narrators and interpreters (and reinterpreters) of their own experiences and histories, recognizing that the stories we tell about others exist alongside the many and varied stories they tell of themselves’.

(Orsi 2003)

We implement the Archerian concept of reflexivity (e.g., Archer 2007, 2012) within the above mentioned framework of lived-religion (Sadlon and Jewdokimow 2021) in order to highlight how individuals negotiate their gender, intimacy and sexuality against institutional norms. ‘«Reflexivity» is the regular exercise of the mental ability, shared by all normal people, to consider themselves in relation to their (social) contexts and vice versa’, (Archer 2007, p. 4) and as such, it plays a crucial role in shaping gender, intimacy and sexuality. So we seek to unveil how religious individuals reflexively interpret their gender, intimacy and sexuality in the context of institutionalized religious life.

In such a lived-religion perspective, our question is, how do the religious reflexively elaborate gender, intimacy and sexuality in the institutionalised environment of religious communities? And further, we question: (1) How reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality within religious communities is shaped by theological norms of chastity? (2) To what extent the framework of religious communities affects reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality? and (3) To what extent are consecrated persons ready for changes in the field of communication about sexuality.

We claim, which is rather an obvious thesis, that the religious (male and female) have sexual drives and experiences prior to commitment to the religious life and it continues after entering the monastery; becoming persons religious does not erase the sexual drive nor does it renounce sexual experience because these are part of the life of every individual. Alternatively speaking, vows of chastity frame and institutionalise sexuality within the monastery—the religious are taught how to understand and experience their sexuality but it does not mean that they fully interiorise the instruction—these are personal experiences—it is the general culture and the communal life that construct the relevant referential points.

Our research follows through by exploring reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality in religious men and women. It shows that in their personal spiritual journeys, consecrated persons exhibit perplexing approaches to the question of sexuality. Our interest is partly focused on positions of power but rather as an explanation of differences in reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality. By studying narratives provided in the qualitative component of our study and declared in the quantitative component of the religious, we study the link between religious norms, religious roles, religious institutions and reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality.

We do not study sexual behaviours due to methodological limitations as the issues are concerned with highly sensitive, and vulnerable, links between religious vocation and sexuality. We focus on communication and narrative on sexuality, intimacy and gender. Our research refers to Trzebiatowska’s approach—we also studied the lived world of the religious, but due to the application of both qualitative and quantitative approaches we also manage to paint a representative statistical picture of the selected aspect of the broader topic of reflexivity upon gender, intimacy and sexuality in the context of religious life.

3. Methodology

In our study, we followed the mixed-methods approach (Tashakkori and Teddlie 1998; Creswell and Plano Clark 2007), and the participatory action research approach (Bergold and Thomas 2012). Designing the research along these lines, we adopted the ‘World Café’ method (see Brown and Isaacs 2005), to address challenges we expected to encounter. In the framework of the entire study, this approach aimed to reveal lived aspects, but we also treated it as an exploratory process—we wanted to understand how participants talked about the topics, what discourses they used, what problems they ironed out? Hence, the world café approach featured significantly as part of the preparation of the questionnaire distributed in the second stage of the study. We also used collected data as quotes to illustrate findings from the survey. After conducting the survey, we became aware that male and female discussion participants each represented a specific individual group among the religious in Poland—one we might categorise as educated elites seeking to change the process of formation (this applies more to the female group, which was more progressive, than to the male group which was more conservative in relation to the topics under scrutiny).

The research was sponsored by Catholic Female and Male Religious Superiors in Poland which aimed at developing institutional formation procedures3. Due to institutional involvement in our study, we decided to implement the participatory action research approach thanks to which we were well prepared to scrutinise the institution’s goals, but also to reach out to the lived aspects of topics under scrutiny (Bergold and Thomas 2012). In our mixed-methods approach, the world café qualitative approach was followed by a quantitative and representative survey on consecrated women and men in Poland. We explored reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality within religious communities and statistically verified the representation of these narratives in the whole population of consecrated persons.

In the quantitative approach, we used an anonymous postal survey. A two-page questionnaire containing mainly nominal variables concerning subjective aspects of life in the community was carried out on a representative sample of consecrated persons in Poland after a lifelong vow to the order. The cluster sampling was performed on the total number of male and female religious communities in Poland. All were perpetually professed, consecrated persons living in selected religious communities and were randomly selected. The population of consecrated women in Poland includes 17,553 in 105 religious institutes and 2150 religious communities. The number of consecrated men includes 8354 in 59 institutes and 897 religious communities (comp.

Table 1. Number of consecrated persons in Poland.

Religious Community	Persons (N)	Religious Communities (N)	Average Number of Persons in a Religious Community
Female	17,553	2150	816
Male	8354	897	931

The number of religious priests among consecrated persons was 88 per cent and brothers—12 per cent.

).

From among all Catholic religious communities in Poland, we sampled 163 female communities and 135 male communities representing all institutes, male and female, in Poland. The selection of the sample was collective with proportional allocation (comp.

Table 2. Survey response rate.

	Total	Women	Men
Number of religious communities sampled	301	166	135
Number of religious communities responded	233	136	97
Response rate—level I	77%	82%	72%
Number of consecrated persons sampled	1897	1022	875
Number of consecrated persons responded	1583	1010	573
Response rate—level II	83%	99%	65%

).

We conducted the survey between May and July 2020. We sent survey packages by post from the Institute for Catholic Church Statistics to randomly selected religious communities, containing the appropriate number of surveys, the same number of envelopes, instructions on how to conduct the survey, a cover letter and a return envelope. Cover letters, together with the files of the selected monasteries and religious houses were additionally sent to all major superiors: the Superior of the Conference of Major Superiors of Women’s Orders and the Superior of the Conference of Major Superiors of Women’s Orders. The superiors and major superiors were asked to inform the superiors of the selected religious communities of the study.

According to the instructions, the study covered all consecrated persons living in the community, after perpetual profession, who were able to complete the questionnaire (except persons living outside the community and the mentally disabled). Each person received a questionnaire and an envelope which was completed anonymously and then returned. After all the questionnaires were collected in the randomly selected monastery, they were forwarded to the Institute for Catholic Church Statistics.

Currently, religious life constitutes a rich and varied panorama developed in the course of historical changes and theological disputes. There is also a vast terminology within the field. In our study, we cover a variety of terms relating to the religious life in Poland which we treat as synonymic: the consecrated person and the religious person.

4. Intimacy in a Religious Community

The question arises to what extent persons who declare sexual abstinence and consecrated celibacy are happy and to what extent they express well-being within their religious communities. Generally, consecrated persons in Poland declare that they live in happiness, comfort and security. Our study has confirmed that ‘satisfaction with being a consecrated person’ in Poland is very common.

Ninety-three per cent of consecrated women and 90 per cent of consecrated men declare being satisfied with being a consecrated person. Those we researched affirmed that living out chastity provides the conditions for a flourishing spiritual life and personal development. Eighty-eight per cent claim that ‘living out chastity is for me an opportunity to develop my spiritual life’. Sixty-five per cent of consecrated women and 52 per cent of consecrated men affirm being able to live out their sexuality in a mature way. To some extent, the research confirms the statistical positive correlation within the Polish population between level of religious commitment and life satisfaction (Bieńkuńska and Piasecki 2020) (comp.

Table 3. Responds for the selected questions. N = 1543.

	Consecrated Women	Consecrated Men	Total
I am satisfied with being a consecrated person (fully and partially agree)	93%	90%	92%
I am able to live out my sexuality in a mature way (fully and partially agree)	65%	52%	59%

).

Consecrated men understand sexuality not only as a drive and bodily experience, but as also related to religious experience:

The nature of sexuality is good in itself; it is something beautiful, something not disgusting. […] Entering the world, also Christ became a sexual person; he somehow experienced it and it, for sure.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

In this context religious men define sexuality as a ‘natural’ dynamism and power. To some extent being a consecrated person means transcending this human nature in order to pursue a personal relationship with God. The development of the identity of a consecrated person implies openness and the primacy of the relationship with God; it means that spirituality affects the human nature and sexuality: ‘Keeping chaste is more a matter of relationship with God than a matter of male maturity or immaturity as such’ (Respondent, male, Kraków).

Our study appears to confirm that the declaration of individual well-being relates to social relationships and social support delivered by religious communities (Fiala et al. 2002; Stark et al. 1982). Consecrated persons affirm social support in their communities. Eighty-five per cent declare satisfaction with ‘prayer’ in their community. Seventy-nine per cent are satisfied with their community of consecrated persons, 68 per cent declare satisfaction with community support. Further, consecrated persons claim that social relationships have a positive impact on living out sexuality. No more than 29 per cent blame friendships with the other sex, and 12 per cent friendships with the same sex, for constituting a ‘threat to chastity’ (comp.

Table 4. Responds for the selected questions. N = 1543.

	Consecrated Women	Consecrated Men	Total
I am satisfied satisfaction with ‘prayer’ in my community (fully and partially agree)	92%	79%	85%
I am satisfied satisfaction with community support (fully and partially agree)	69%	66%	68%
Friendship with other sex persons has negative influence on my chastity (fully and partially agree)	31%	24%	29%
Friendship with same sex persons has negative influence on my chastity (fully and partially agree)	14%	9%	12%

). However, consecrated women are more reserved in their friendships with men than men with women. An important difference in this approach towards friendship is correlated with age of the studied persons. The younger generations judge friendship more positively than the older ones in the case of both consecrated men and women.

Within this community, well-being is a very intimate and private matter. For men, religious sexuality is an intimate topic that ought to be kept private.

Discussions on sexuality among men religious do occur but require conditions of trust because having sexual experiences is against the institutional norm which decrees that men religious are desexualised individuals:

Sexuality is a great taboo and it is very difficult to talk about this issue. If one begins to talk about it, others assume that he has experience in this sphere. So, it’s not easy to talk about it.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

In comparison, sisters did not refer to sexuality as a sombre, private realm. It was more and more frequently discussed within their communities, during different workshops and the formation process (however, according to them, not nearly enough). The sisters also emphasised differences in the ease of conversation about sexuality depending on age:

It’s not about dismissing the topic somehow, but … it’s easier to talk about such topics with younger persons. Older sisters find it difficult to talk about it.

(Respondent, female, Laski)

In addition, interviewees emphasised that when the topic of sexuality was raised it was usually in a negative context:

And as we talked about formation in the field of sexuality, we saw that the subject was often raised in such a negative space: as a threat, as a crime, or what had happened, that is, a sin against purity and chaistity; and this was not discussed in a beautiful space [and viewed] as potential, as strength, as energy, as what is associated with our spiritual motherhood. And it also gave rise to some tension.

(Respondent, female, Laski)

Consecrated persons in religious communities in Poland enjoy well-being but celibacy is a difficult experience. Sixty-six per cent of those surveyed, both men and women, affirm that ‘difficulties in living out chastity causes crisis in vocation’. Fourteen per cent declare the possibility of ‘leaving consecrated community due to difficulties in living out chastity’. Seventy per cent of consecrated women and 76 per cent of consecrated men claim that ‘living out chastity is for me, overall, a sacrifice which I give to God’. Half of consecrated persons claim that ‘many consecrated persons’ are not able to live out sexuality ‘maturely’ (comp.

Table 5. Responds for the selected questions. N = 1543.

	Consecrated Women	Consecrated Men	Total
Difficulties in living out chastity causes crises in vocation (fully and partially agree)	65%	66%	66%
I once considered leaving the community of consecrated life because of difficulties in experiencing chastity (fully and partially agree)	14%	14%	14%
For me, living out chastity is above all a sacrifice that I offer to God (fully and partially agree)	70%	76%	72%

). Living out sexuality in a consecrated life requires ‘purification’ which implies suffering and internal struggle. The tension between sexuality and lived religion manifests itself in times of ‘crisis’ when religious persons experience a lack of sense and motivation for the religious life. One respondent clearly indicates that sexuality is an enduring burden and no matter how much one tries to replace a relation with a woman by living in a community it is in vain.

With all our use of Christian words, there is also a place for the cross at this point… The nature it always makes demands in some way. Due to a natural constitution of a man no community could replace a woman. … They won’t just give it; they won’t replace a woman. Community cannot replace women.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

Some religious persons confirmed that they had experienced a crossing of the boundaries in regard to intimacy in various ways. As many as 12 per cent of women and 7 per cent of men strongly agreed that while being a consecrated person, they had experienced a lack of proper boundaries on the part of clergymen. An additional 8 per cent of women and men stated ‘I rather agree’. This means that every fifth sister in Poland and almost every sixth brother experienced such a situation. It should be emphasised that the question does not define what it means to go beyond the boundaries of intimacy. In fact, for the respondents, the limits of intimacy are crossed not only by romantic feelings, kisses, tenderness, caresses, flirting, but also hugging, embracing, tempting, ambiguous behaviour and remarks. It seems to be an important observation, revealing that issues of intimacy, i.e., the vow of chastity, do not only concern direct, sexual contact, but take place within the broadly defined sphere of eroticism and even interpersonal relations that occur on a daily basis. Our respondents also reported crossings of boundaries by sisters—9 per cent of the surveyed women and 8 per cent of men experienced them (the sum for ‘I strongly agree’ and ‘I rather agree’). Sisters also reported situations of crossing the border of intimacy by lay people but less often than from clergy. Men more than women frequently experienced a lack of boundaries on the part of lay people (11 per cent—women, 24 per cent—men, the sum ‘definitely agree’ and ‘rather agree’).

Women religious argued that priests frequently treated them as objects:

How do we feel treated? It happens that relationships are very good; we are partners. On the other hand, however, it also happens that we are treated as objects. We will not exhaust the word ‘object’ here, but some examples: lack of respect, superiority, infantile, casually, a servant, like a toy, not like a partner. There are also situations of sexual harassment and ill-treatment. It was also noted, because our assemblies are also missionary, that we are more often treated with respect and as partners when abroad.

(Respondent, female, Laski)

Consecrated persons declare bewilderment due to the lack of grounded knowledge on sexuality. They point out that communication on sexuality within a community is crucial for living out vows of chastity. They appeal for more reflexive living-out of sexuality within the community attributing the special role of religious education, psychotherapy and the development of spiritual life in enhancing sexual well-being. Interestingly, women interlocutors claim that human formation requires in-depth psychological insight, enabling them to deal with problems (including unconscious problems) and self-development.

The sisters raised the very important topic of poor preparation for coping with such interactions and the need to improve this situation, while noting that there was a culture of fear and self-blame among nuns: ‘Due to the lack of personal maturity and formation of the sisters, how to behave towards priests and priests towards sisters, specific ways of building these ties arise: either mature or immature’.

According to the interlocutors, sisters are taught to be treated with reserve and to accept it, while formation should instead have prepared them for various life situations, including how to cope with experiences of sexual harassment, falling in love or establishing personal boundaries, which they do not do presently.

5. Genderless Sisters, Masculine Brothers

The theory of natural femininity overlaps with the dominant cultural view of a woman, however, sisters lack one crucial element, which our interlocutors highlighted—the role of motherhood. From a cultural perspective, this is seen as a deficit in a woman religious which therefore makes her culturally estranged. Women religious compensate for this deficit with the notion of religious motherhood, yet it is culturally odd, in the same manner as being viewed as ‘brides of Jesus’. What is relevant here is that women religious expect cultural recognition as women. This longing to be perceived as a woman is highly relevant and may be linked with the general position of women in patriarchy. The existing model of femininity is also based on a theology, but it is a different one to which an alternative is sought. This call shows—and what Trzebiatkowska also found– that sisters do not construct a subversive model of an alternative femininity. Rather, they seek to fit within a dominant culture incapable of understanding them.

Women religious expect recognition and respect of their femininity. They understand femininity as a gift that they bring to the community. The community must accept this gift (to respect and to recognise it) which will allow them to feel satisfied and complete. This conclusion resonates with Trzebiatkowska’s findings and also reveals new details. Trzebiatowska concluded that her interlocutors ‘viewed themselves as women in the traditional sense … and [insisted] on their gender normality’ (Trzebiatowska 2013, p. 214). Here, we see that they even struggle to achieve recognition as ‘normal’ women. However, women religious also describe difficulties arising from transformations and clashes between models of consecrated femininity (in both younger and older generations). Hence, they recognise different normalities. This generational clash affects the very structure of communal religious life—not only in everyday life but also in a theological sense (our informants did not communicate with us about the theological shift). Additionally, they acknowledge that gender models change in the course of history. Interlocutors emphasised that they perceive in religious life an inconsistency of models of femininity dominant in different periods, to which sisters from different generations were raised:

What was abnormal for us is already the norm for younger generations... …. But it also affects what they bring into our structure. And this is the question of whether we are ready for their otherness.

(Respondent, female, Laski)

There was a difference between men and women religious in the experiences of their gender. Women religious complained that they were understood to be genderless while men religious understood themselves as ‘normal’ men who—even though chaste—did not lack any attribute of masculinity. This is a sister exemplified her gender problem:

For example, during the Women’s Day, we see that women are receiving greetings at school, at work and it is not clear how do approach a sister… laughs.

(Respondent, female, Laski)

This remark unveils the importance of gender recognition for women religious. Participants in our workshop formulated arguments for this in two registers: to be recognised as a woman, and also in theology. According to the first, being a woman, and also a woman religious, is a natural aspect of one’s life, and as such cannot be erased in one’s own eyes nor suppressed by an individual. This femininity is built upon stereotypically understood female traits such as ‘openness, love, cordiality, motherhood, tenderness, trust, etc.—all our female luggage’.

In the second, the theological register, femininity of a woman religious links her with Jesus. A woman religious is a woman married to Jesus, his bride. Femininity, thus, cannot be eradicated and this is a very essence that allows for the religious life of women.

What is also relevant is that the surveyed men and women mostly believed that contemporary culture (problematised here as the Internet, television and the world beyond enclosure) is a threat to experiencing sexuality. Sixty-five per cent of women and 71 per cent of men believed and somewhat believed that the Internet was a threat to chastity.

In contrast to women religious, brothers did not locate the problem of gender recognition within the cultural sphere—they found themselves masculine. Even though they lived a chaste life (without family, without fulfilment of sexual needs which are stereotypically linked with masculinity), they do not experience problems with their masculinity in terms of social recognition—they perceive themselves as ‘normal’, ‘typical’ men. For them, their gender is transparent. Perhaps this conclusion results for the fact that in the patriarchy masculinity is also understood in relation to power and prestige and our informants have both. Hence, having power and prestige compensates for family and sexual intercourse. They openly speak about their symbolic capital: ‘One of the important elements of masculinity is also the need for prestige, power, independence, it is so masculine’.

What is shared by both men and women religious is the observation of the change and clash of gender models which emerge inside the monastery walls. In the case of men, the model has moved from a kind of severity and rationality towards closeness and emotions, and from individualistic towards more communal life:

… the old model of masculinity was so much more hard, more rational, more masculine, it was associated with such hard chow: you have to be hard, you have to get over with it. But it also produced a lot of anxiety linked to sexual issues… and created vulgar attitudes towards women, taking place during private conversations… [in contrast] in a formal formation, not during private talks, it was said that the grace of God, the Lord Jesus himself, will help us to survive it.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

This extract is notable in that, first, it depicts the ‘old’ model of a man and second, it links to sexual experiences which have been made private (these being personal and therefore not to be shared with other brothers). Third, the model being understood by the interview as misogynistic. Fourth, it downplays the role of emotions and relations in both the life of the individual and the community.

Summing up, women resolve the problem of experiencing their femininity while being sisters. While the problem for the sisters was a lack of social recognition of their femininity, brothers ignored the problem of not being recognised as men. One can propose a hypothesis that while brothers can implement the dominant, cultural models of masculinity (prestige, power, efficiency—as described during the workshop) in the role they play, the sisters cannot follow the dominant cultural model of femininity.

6. (De)privatisation of Sexuality

As we have shown there is a difference between theological, institutional and personal layers. Hence, what is the place of sexuality within the institutional context of consecrated life? Our study shows that in contrast to the usual assumptions, sexuality is in fact, more private than entirely absent in the context of religious life. This is a community situated in the heart of religious intuitional life, living out both sexuality and gender. Our study shows that of all men and women surveyed, more women than men strongly agreed that relationships in the community were important when experiencing chastity (74 per cent of women against 55 per cent of men). More women than men surveyed strongly agreed with the statement that in their assembly, the association received sufficient support to fulfil the vow of chastity (31 per cent of women versus 20 per cent of men; those answering ‘somewhat agree’: 41 per cent and 48 per cent, respectively). Data clearly shows that more women religious find sexuality to be a less private topic. The problem of whether sexual experiences should be shared and discussed with others is also related to changing male gender roles. In contrast to the old model, the new one is driven by the need for personal relations and intimacy but it also results in a more open approach to sexuality which then becomes something to be expressed and shared:

What maybe decades ago was so stiff and difficult, today for our boys who enter monasteries, there is no problem to talk about difficult things, even about experiencing masculinity and corporeality. Of course, I generalise a little, but it certainly is much easier than it used to be.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

A shift in gender models has impacted on the communal life—just as in the case of women religious—especially, in relation to the vow of obedience: ‘We are still bound by obedience, but evidently this obedience, following these needs, takes place within a greater dialogue, greater openness’.

This shift also results in downplaying suspicions concerning homosexuality. Our interlocutors admitted that the new model was previously interpreted as a concealed homosexuality and treated as hazardous and abnormal. Today, they see room for this new model and have adjusted their negative assumptions in regard to homosexuality:

In experiencing masculinity, an important element is also to give space to these new needs, including permission to allow for greater sensitivity… Hence, more room for friendships. So that you do not immediately look suspicious … or that some clique or homosexual overtones arise.

(Respondent, male, Kraków)

It has also affected practices in their everyday life—the religious conduct more activities together.

Hence, we found that depending on the generation, there is a different understanding of masculinity which is linked to the experience of sexuality. The younger generations are more eager to share their sexual experiences, in light of their present experience of chastity, while older generations consider their sexuality as private and not-to-be-shared. The privatised model is institutionally approved, so the declared attitudes of new generations may instigate institutional change. This conclusion is backed by responses to other questions. Every third consecrated person (both women and men) did not talk to anyone about their experience of chastity. The vast majority of consecrated persons believe that they should talk about living out the vow of chastity in their communities. Men say this more often than women. It is evident from our study that the religious lack the vocabulary to express their experiences in the sexual realm—they believe that it is either missing or too difficult.

In addition, according to the respondents, even though the topic of sexuality is difficult to broach, they pay attention to the need to overcome those difficulties and to seek the appropriate language in order to share experiences and problems. According to the respondents, the topic of sexuality is very important and should be discussed more often at various stages of formation. As many as 66 per cent of the surveyed women and men believed that the topic of chastity should be more present as a subject of retreats and days of reflection. It is worth emphasising that the higher the age of the respondent, the more responses fell in the category ‘I strongly agree’: in the group up to 39 years of age, 22.3 per cent percent also assert this; 40–50 years old—25 per cent, and over 51 years old, 32, 3 per cent. Sixty-one per cent of women and 67 per cent of men ‘strongly agree’ and ‘rather agree’ that fathers/ministers should raise the topic of chastity more frequently. Significantly more people paid attention to the need to receive reliable scientific knowledge about sexuality in the form of sex education (conferences, meetings with specialists such as psychologists, therapists, sexologists who were, it was emphasised, secular) than to activities of a strictly religious nature.

7. Conclusions

From institutional and theological perspectives, as a consequence of taking the vow of chastity, consecrated persons are sexually abstinent. Within the contemporary debate on sexual abuse, this view appears in sharp contrast to the normative view that presents the religious (predominantly men), as oversexualised. Our study was designed as a new approach to the topic of sexuality and gender of the religious. Using the concept of reflexivity in the lived-religion approach, we sought to reveal how the religious understand and negotiate their intimacy, sexuality and gender. We believe that our mixed methods study penetrated this layer of the consecrated life.

Our study demonstrates that sexuality is a private aspect of religious communities. Hence, we claim reflexivity on gender, intimacy and sexuality is excluded from the institutional context however it is reflexively elaborated in the individual and group layers. Moreover, our respondents sought to make sexuality less private and thus, to integrate it reflexively within religious communities. We spotted gender differences in reflexivity on sexuality. Religious men highlight more private aspects—they are reluctant to share their sexual experience and this presents challenges in relationships with other brothers. Women religious are more open towards communicating about their sexuality but they seek to integrate their sexuality in religion by the use of institutional means, which they lack, and which they postulate to introduce. Younger generations of women and men religious bring new lifestyles, new experiences and opinions to the monasteries which partially contradicts the established, institutional and asexual position. They seek to integrate who they are into the institutional pattern which results in problems of integration among the religious but also redefines new generations as the vehicle of institutional change. In terms of gender, our findings clearly show that religious sisters strive for recognition as women while brothers do not—they feel that they are already socially recognised as men. We must conclude that even though chastity is challenging, men and women religious seek to observe the vow, while remaining integrated and at ease with their sexuality.