Functioning of Polish Women in Binational Relationships—An Outline of the Issue against the Background of Migration in the Interpreted Paradigm
Abstract
:1. Introduction
1.1. Background and Previous Research
“is high and tensions between their members stem from different styles of communication, languages, religious practices, level of adaptation of the migrating partner, social networks, cultural differences in parental styles, social roles and gender practices, habits and traditions” [7] (p. 6).
“appeal to cultural differences to explain the higher divorce rates of binational couples but they omit the potential effect of migration or that of environmental factors such as immigration policies and attitudes towards migration and intermarriage” [8] (p. 649).
1.2. Context of Migration and Binational Relationship by Polish Women
1.3. The Purpose of the Study
2. Materials and Methods
2.1. Participants
2.2. Interview Procedures
- Motivations that prompted the respondents to leave the country.
- Decision to enter into a relationship with a foreigner—expectations and concerns of respondents.
- The most difficult elements of functioning in a mixed relationship.
- Reconciliation by couples or a conflict of two different cultures and traditions, e.g., during holidays.
2.3. Analysis
3. Results
3.1. Emigration-Related Expectations and Experiences of Living Abroad
The prospects were such that I could work (in Poland—author) in a restaurant, in some fast-food place, so when the possibility of working as an Au Pair appeared… of course I decided to go for it… I bought a plane ticket and off I went… It was simply a tempting offer (Participant 1)
When Karolina (a friend of the respondent—author) told me about earnings in the U.S., it was an impulse to act, and later it was difficult for me to switch from the reality in California to the Polish reality (…) In The Netherlands I was picking strawberries so it was nothing special, now I work in a hotel, I have contact with people, I do not suffer from sunburn (laughs). The American Dream (Participant 3)
I think I have fully acclimatized to this country. I feel safe here, I have more opportunities for professional development, and I do not feel the need to return to Poland. (Participant 17)
I miss my family but not the place they live in. I think if I could get them all here, it wouldn’t be a problem…Poland didn’t offer any opportunities. (Participant 12)
3.2. Relationship with a Foreign Partner
Loneliness
You know how it is when you leave, you are alone and here you have someone close to you after all, I live far away from my family, you need this close relationship, something different than work relationship, a personal bond. I think it was a kind of substitute for my mom, my dad, all those people close to me (Participant 3)
Love
It wasn’t a decision to have a relationship with a foreigner, but with a person, it wasn’t important, he was just a cool guy (Participant 1)
When I met him, I felt that he complemented me (Participant 5)
I don’t think it was a matter of some deep thinking, the heart was stronger than any thoughts and reason (laughs) (Participant 12)
Fascination with otherness
As I said before, I had always dreamed of it and fell in love with him so I decided to take the risk even though I knew it might not work out. I’ve always been a thrill-seeker, looking for something new, something different from the people around me. (Participant 18)
There is something exotic about such relationships, there is something different (…) with my husband we learn something new about each other every day (Participant 13).
Such a cultural mishmash, it is both difficult and cool, when you combine these two cultures something new and cool is created, but it is not always easy (Participant 4)
We have a very collaborative, partner-like approach, we share responsibilities, I clean the rooms, Marco does the dishes, but usually when I ask him to do something he does it without many complaints (Participant 12).
My husband cooks and I clean, or vice versa, so there is a division of responsibilities (Participant 13)
The family did not accept our relationship at first. My parents advised me against marrying my husband, but after getting to know him and visiting him a few times in Poland, they have a positive attitude towards him, and I think they believe our relationship will survive (Participant 21)
3.3. Cultural Differences and the Functioning of Mixed Couples
Pros and cons of being in a mixed relationship
Binational relationships undoubtedly have many advantages: a person learns tolerance, can get to know the language, another culture (12):
Another advantage is learning about the culture, real, in-depth learning, and seeing everything from two points of view. (Participant 2)
The advantage of being in a bicultural relationship is that you have to master the art of compromise, I don’t see any particular disadvantages. You just have to stop thinking of it as a mixed relationship. It’s a relationship between two people and that’s it, because if we try to justify every fight we have because someone is from another country, it doesn’t make sense anymore. (Participant 1)
Sometimes there is a problem with communication, I want something, he does not understand or vice versa and there can be some clashes… but not always, sometimes it is interesting and funny (Participant 14).
Linguistic misunderstandings can have unpleasant consequences (Participant 3).
For us, the hardest part is reconciling religious issues. Because we are both believers and practicing believers (Participant 18).
And the disadvantages are the quarrels that are dictated by the different temperaments, because Spaniards are very loud (Participant 2).
The religion is the same, the traditions are quite similar, so we don’t have viewpoints quite different from each other, there is no big problem with that. (Participant 1)
The most difficult thing is that we have different customs, our culture is different, and it is deeply rooted in us, and everyone tries to pull the other to their side. Everyone would like to celebrate as they are taught, but most of the time we manage to reconcile different approaches, for example, on Christmas Eve I eat fish and Marco eats his turkey. (Participant 12)
When it comes to religion in my relationship, biases are confirmed […]. The holiday season is always a sad time for me because my husband does not want to participate in the festivities in any way. For him, this is a normal day. I, on the other hand, try to take a positive approach to his holidays (Ramadan). (Participant 18)
Biases
When friends here in the UK heard that I married a British man, it was usually pointed out that I did it for the money (Participant 15).
In my neighborhood (in Poland—authors) I was said to be with my partner for citizenship (Participant 11).
When my boyfriend and I came to Poland for Christmas, I heard on the streets that he was asphalt, coon, monkey (Participant 21).
A friend didn’t give me a wedding gift because she said I was about to get divorced anyway (Participant 18).
4. Discussion
5. Conclusions
6. Limitations
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Acknowledgments
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Participant(s) | Age | Relationship Experience | Partner’s Nationality | Kids | Type of Relationship | Place of Residence |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Participant 1 | 25 | 3 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 2 | 24 | 4 | Spanish | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 3 | 22 | 1 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 4 | 26 | 4.5 | American | yes | Informal | USA |
Participant 5 | 27 | 5 | Indian | yes | Informal | USA |
Participant 6 | 20 | 2 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 7 | 24 | 2.5 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 8 | 27 | 4 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 9 | 29 | 3 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 10 | 29 | 3 | American | no | Informal | USA |
Participant 11 | 31 | 6 | American | no | formal | USA |
Participant 12 | 26 | 3 | American | no | informal | USA |
Participant 13 | 40 | 7 | American | yes | formal | USA |
Participant 14 | 36 | 5 | American | yes | formal | USA |
Participant 15 | 22 | 4 | Briton | yes | informal | UK |
Participant 16 | 27 | 4 | Briton | no | formal | UK |
Participant 17 | 23 | 2 | Briton | no | informal | UK |
Participant 18 | 33 | 5 | Turk | yes | formal | UK |
Participant 19 | 31 | 4 | Briton | no | formal | UK |
Participant 20 | 36 | 5 | Italian | no | formal | UK |
Participant 21 | 22 | 1.5 | Nigerian | no | Informal | UK |
Themes | Subthemes |
---|---|
Emigration-related expectations and experiences of living abroad | Financial expectations Fascination with a new culture The perception of the host country as one with greater prospects |
Relationship with a foreign partner | Loneliness Love Fascination |
Cultural differences and the functioning of mixed couples | The positives and negatives of a relationship Tensions in a relationship Biases |
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Gierczyk, M.; Dobosz, D. Functioning of Polish Women in Binational Relationships—An Outline of the Issue against the Background of Migration in the Interpreted Paradigm. Humans 2022, 2, 50-63. https://doi.org/10.3390/humans2020004
Gierczyk M, Dobosz D. Functioning of Polish Women in Binational Relationships—An Outline of the Issue against the Background of Migration in the Interpreted Paradigm. Humans. 2022; 2(2):50-63. https://doi.org/10.3390/humans2020004
Chicago/Turabian StyleGierczyk, Marcin, and Dagmara Dobosz. 2022. "Functioning of Polish Women in Binational Relationships—An Outline of the Issue against the Background of Migration in the Interpreted Paradigm" Humans 2, no. 2: 50-63. https://doi.org/10.3390/humans2020004
APA StyleGierczyk, M., & Dobosz, D. (2022). Functioning of Polish Women in Binational Relationships—An Outline of the Issue against the Background of Migration in the Interpreted Paradigm. Humans, 2(2), 50-63. https://doi.org/10.3390/humans2020004