Volunteering as an Instrument for Preparing Young People for Christian Marriage and Family Life

Abstract

Volunteering is an organized service for people and social groups in need, characterized by selflessness, voluntariness, and regularity. The roots of modern volunteering should be sought in various forms of social commitment and charity activities already existing in the circle of Christian culture in antiquity. Contemporary volunteering is one of the important segments of civil society, which is why it develops well in democratic countries. In totalitarian states, it has no raison d’être, because the necessary condition for its development is the social space of freedom. The aim of this work is to seek an answer to the question: how can the involvement of young people in volunteering contribute to their good preparation for life in a Christian marriage and family? The article is theoretical and falls within the field of practical theology. The author will use the method of secondary analysis of available materials in the fields of philosophy, social sciences, and Catholic theology in order to show the relationship between the involvement of young people in volunteering and good preparation for future tasks of Christian spouses and parents. The starting point of the search will be a presentation of the current condition of marriages and families in Europe. The next step in the research process will be the presentation of the review-focused research methodology, and in the final part of the article, the advantages of volunteering as an instrument of preparing young people to take up the future tasks of spouses and parents will be emphasized.

1. Introduction

The current state of marriages and families in countries belonging to Western civilization is unstable. Many young people rarely enter into marriages, and existing marriages are affected by crises (cf. Pope Francis 2016a: 231–40; Landwójtowicz 2017; Dudziak 2022). For researchers, it is vital not only to confirm this state of affairs through scientific study but also to show development trends and provide a prediction for the coming years. Yet, for a theologian, and particularly a practical theologian, this will not suffice. Learning about the causes of the destruction of marriage and the family—as a model known and widely used at least since the time of Christ in the Christian West—should be the starting point in the search for an effective way of preparing the younger generation for life in a Christian model of marriage and family.

God’s eternal project for human life in happiness, fulfilment, and love (cf. Ps. 128: 1–6) is a calling still open to young people. Today, they should receive strong support from clergy and lay family workers—both at the stage of preparation for life in marriage and during the implementation of this divine work. The task of practical theology, on the other hand, is to seek new methods and ways to prepare young people for the difficulties and challenges of life in marriage and family. It seems that there is some dormant, underutilized potential in the practice of volunteerism to prepare young people for life in Christian marriage and family.

Defining the phenomenon of volunteering scientifically poses many difficulties. This is further complicated by the fact that volunteering is researched by representatives of a diverse range of scientific disciplines, such as cultural anthropology, sociology, social psychology, political science, pedagogy, legal sciences, practical theology, etc. Despite the diverse methodological tools and the various aspects addressed in research across these scientific disciplines, it is possible to identify a certain conceptual range for the concept of volunteering used in this study. By its very nature, the concept of volunteering must remain vague, as it encompasses a highly diverse range of activities, dominated by voluntary and selfless assistance to one’s fellow man. However, it need not be fully voluntary or selfless. Musick and Wilson define volunteering as ‘a form of altruistic behaviour. Its purpose is to provide help to others, a group, an organisation, a cause or an entire community, without expectation of material reward’ (Musick and Wilson 2007, p. 3). Pure altruism is not the only motivation for volunteering, as individuals may also engage in volunteering to gain skills, connections, or some kind of psychological satisfaction from the beneficiaries’ gratitude. According to Erhardt, volunteering refers to professionally organized social service for the benefit of individuals and groups in need, characterized by voluntariness, selflessness, continuity and regularity, and independence from family, colleague, and friendship ties (Erhardt 2011, pp. 15–21).

Volunteers also have an important role in the congregations of Christian churches, including the community of the Catholic Church. Pope John Paul II stated the following: ‘If this impartial service be truly given for the good of all persons, especially the most in need and forgotten by the social services of society itself, then, volunteer work can be considered an important expression of the apostolate, in which lay men and women have a primary role’ (Pope John Paul II 1988: 41). Pope Benedict XVI expressed the Church’s total support for this valuable service to others and stressed that volunteering contributes to bringing a human and Christian dimension to contemporary society. Volunteering has much to do with grace; it echoes gratitude for the gift of life that we have not earned. The deep communion that binds those involved in the multiple forms of volunteering ultimately stems from gratuitousness. According to the Pope, ‘It was as a free gift that we received life from our Creator, it was as a free gift that we were set free from the blind alley of sin and evil, it was as a free gift that we were given the Spirit with his many gifts’ (Pope Benedict XVI 2007).

2. Background of the Study: The Current State of Marriage and Families in Europe and the USA

Modern social life is characterized by a series of continuous and intense changes, affecting many aspects of individual life. These changes have not bypassed family life either, affecting the formation of a new type of family and its organization, functioning, and structure. Modern culture, through the emergence of new values such as freedom, consumerism, individualism, self-fulfillment, assertiveness, and devoting most of one’s time to making a career in life, promotes family disintegration, which is reflected in the increase in the number of divorces while marriages are declining (see statistical analysis below). Social pathologies, especially various addictions, are also a cause of the deconstruction of marriages and families. A person addicted to alcohol, drugs, the Internet, or computer games automatically transfers his problem to marital and family life, causing its destruction sooner or later (Bieleń 2018).

Cultural transitions concern not only the structure of the family but also the range of functions it performs. The family is increasingly shifting away from the traditional model towards a relationship of partnership and friendship. Social sciences have seen the emergence of a whole range of new marriage and family relationship models, e.g., modern family, classical family, nuclear family; gay family, homosexual family; foster family, professional foster family, professional specialist family, unrelated foster family; broken family, incomplete family, monoparental family, monogenic family, single-parent family, minimal family; nomadic family, commuting family, visiting family; reconstructed family, patchwork family (Burchacka 2017, p. 72). The growing acceptance of alternative relationships is one indicator that marriage is undergoing ‘deinstitutionalization,’ described as ‘a weakening of the social norms that determine the behavior of partners’. This theme is also evident in the emphasis on individualism, the post-material valuing of self-actualization over conformity, the second modernity in the ‘institutionalization of individualization’ and ‘normalization of diversity,’ and the emphasis in ‘pure relationships’ on meeting emotional needs (Treas et al. 2014).

In addition, let us not forget the group of singles who never intend to marry or enter into a partnership. Lifelong aloneness is a relatively rare demographic, averaging about 5% in the European Union. High levels of loneliness are concentrated in those societies where traditional gender values have weakened, but gender egalitarianism remains weak (Bellani et al. 2017). However, levels of lifelong loneliness vary widely among countries in Europe. Both short-term and long-term loneliness trajectories are highest in northern Europe (Klímová 2023). Other researchers (Schwanitz and Toulemon 2017) have emphasized the importance of national context in shaping young adults’ leaving home and how this is influenced by educational attainment, enrolment, and parental education. For example, the positive educational gradient in leaving home to live without a partner was found to be stronger in most western European countries (except Austria) and less strong in Sweden and Norway and most eastern European countries (except the Czech Republic, Hungary, and Poland).

The condition of marriages and families is well illustrated by the statistics that will now be presented for Europe and the US. According to data on marriages and divorces published by Eurostat on 16 May 2022, there is an apparent trend of decreasing number of marriages with an increase in the number of divorces (Eurostat 2022). Since 1964, the marriage rate in the European Union (EU) has declined from 8.0 per 1000 people in 1964 to 3.2 in 2020. At the same time, the divorce rate increased from 0.8 per 1000 people in 1964 to 1.9 per 1000 people in 2010, before declining to 1.6 per 1000 people in 2020. According to the latest 2020 figures, around 1.4 million marriages and around 0.7 million divorces will occur across all EU Member States, compared to an estimated 1.9 million marriages and 0.8 million divorces in 2019. The unprecedented decline in marriages in 2020 can be attributed to some extent to the COVID-19 containment efforts. As of 2020, the EU Member States with the highest number of marriages in proportion to population were Hungary (6.9 marriages per 1000 people), Latvia (5.6), and Lithuania (5.5). In contrast, the lowest marriage rates were recorded in Italy (1.6), Portugal (1.8), and Spain and Ireland (1.9 each). In 2020, the lowest number of divorces in relation to population among EU Member States was registered in Malta (0.5 divorces per 1000 people), followed by Slovenia (0.8). In contrast, the highest divorce rates were recorded in Latvia, Lithuania, and Denmark (2.7 divorces per 1000 people for all three), Sweden (2.5), and Finland (2.4).

Among US adults aged 50 and older, the divorce rate doubled between 1990 and 2015 (Stepler 2017). According to the US Census Bureau’s National Center for Health Statistics, there were 10 divorcees for every 1000 married people aged 50 and older in 2015, compared to 5 in 1990. Among those aged 65 and older, the divorce rate has tripled since 1990, reaching 6 per 1000 married persons in 2015. While the divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older has risen sharply over the past 25 years, the divorce rate among this age group has remained relatively stable since 2008, when the Census Bureau began collecting divorce data annually as part of the American Community Survey. Even so, the divorce rate among those under 50 is about twice as high as among adults aged 50 and older. Further, the divorce rate has also increased slightly among adults aged 40 to 49 since 1990, although not as much as among those over 50. In 2015, there were 21 divorcees aged 40 to 49 per 1000 married people in this age range; this figure was slightly lower than in 1990, with 24 divorcees per 1000 married people recorded at the time. This decline is attributed at least in part to the younger generation postponing marriage until a later age. The median age at first marriage for men in 2016 was 29.5 and for women 27.4—compared to 26.1 and 23.9, respectively, in 1990 (Stepler 2017).

In the US, statistics are showing a growing percentage of American adults living without a spouse or partner. An analysis of Pew Research Center census data found that nearly 4 in 10 adults aged 25 to 54 (38%) were not in a relationship as of 2019, that is, they were neither married nor living with a partner (29% in 1990). Men are more likely than women to be without a partner, which was not the case 30 years ago. The increase in the number of single people is mainly driven by the decline in the number of marriages among working-age adults. At the same time, the proportion of cohabiting couples has increased, but this has not been enough to compensate for the decline in marriages—hence the overall decline in domestic partnerships. While the unmarried population includes some adults who had been married before (but have since separated, divorced, or been widowed), the entire increase in the unmarried population since 1990 is due to a rise in the number of people who have never been married. This trend has broad social implications, as does the growing gap in well-being between adults living in and out of relationships. When analyzed based on a range of measures of economic and social status, unmarried adults generally see different—and often worse—outcomes than married or cohabiting ones. This pattern is evident among both men and women. On average, single adults have lower earnings compared to adults in relationships and are less likely to be employed or economically independent. They also have lower education levels and are more likely to live with their parents. Other research suggests that married or cohabitating adults see better health outcomes in certain areas compared to single adults (Fry and Parker 2021).

Marriage and family are the basis of social life, which is why it is crucial to care for their condition in all relevant dimensions. Therefore, it is necessary to seek new ways to better prepare young people for life in a relationship, for social and religious reasons alike. In particular, the Catholic Church sees caring for the permanence of marital relationships as one of its fundamental tasks (Second Vatican Council 1965: 52).

3. Methodology of the Study

The purpose of this article is to demonstrate that the practice of volunteering by young people can prove to be an effective instrument in the process of preparation for marriage and family life. In general, the problem of this work can be expressed in the question: what are the points of contact between the practice of volunteering and married life, and more specifically: what experiences of involvement in volunteering can strengthen the competence and practical skills of future spouses and parents? To solve this problem, the method of meta-analysis of available materials in the databases of the following scientific disciplines was used: philosophy, social science, and practical theology.

In the first stage, material for secondary analysis was prepared. These are books and scientific articles published after 2000. Out of the selected 40 publications on volunteering, 22 were extracted after preliminary analysis, which potentially indicated a connection between the experience of volunteering and preparation for marriage and family life. These publications were subjected to an in-depth qualitative analysis in terms of the skills and character traits created by young people’s involvement in volunteering that are useful in future marriage and family. On the basis of this analysis, four thematic areas were identified in which the potential relationship between volunteering involvement and preparation for marriage and family life showed up as the most likely. In particular, volunteering for a long period of time and carried out in the area of charitable activity develops in candidates for life in marriage and family such qualities as a culture of love, relational spirituality, the capacity for altruism, and an attitude of service to neighbor. The conclusions of the empirical research so far will then be reinforced with theological arguments.

The article is a conceptual manuscript that seeks to theorize the links between volunteering and marriage and family. The author has not conducted his own empirical research and the argumentation used is indirect in nature. It should be made clear that this is an approach to the topic from the point of view of practical theology, which is not as focused on empirical findings as the social sciences. Practical theology aims to create and improve models for the pastoral activities of individual religious congregations. Cooperation between practical theology and the social sciences is necessary because pastoral activity is always carried out in a community: it starts with the marital community, then there is the family, local communities, including parishes, and finally the space of influence of churches and religious congregations is the global community. Practical theologians on their own rarely conduct social empirical research, but they have developed several models for using in their analyses the secondary results of research conducted by representatives of the social sciences (Osmer 2011). The purpose of this article is not to develop a comprehensive model for the preparation of young people for Christian marriage and family, but only to point out the possibility of improving the various models of such preparation used so far in different countries by using youth involvement in volunteering.

4. The Usefulness of Volunteering Experience in Preparing for Life in Christian Marriage and Family: Discussion

The Catholic Church in Poland attaches great importance to preparation for marriage and family life. After the Second Vatican Council, the Polish Bishops’ Conference prepared three pastoral instructions on this issue (1969, 1975, and 1989) and later published the Directory for the Pastoral Care of Families (Dyrektorium duszpasterstwa rodzin) (2003), as well as the document Serving the Truth about Marriage and Family (Służyć prawdzie o małżeństwie i rodzinie) (2009). In the Catholic Church in Poland, there are three stages of marriage preparation: remote, proximate, and immediate. Remote preparation takes place as part of family education and religion lessons at school. Proximate preparation takes place in the family, school, and parish. Immediate preparation is carried out in the parish during meetings with the pastor and lay family life counsellor, beginning at least three months before the planned marriage date (Pyźlak 2018, p. 231). The many purposes of preparing for Christian marriage and family life include an introduction to a culture of love, as well as an introduction to a culture of interpersonal relationships (Polak 2008, pp. 110–17, 123–30). It seems that these purposes can be more easily achieved using the practice of volunteering by marriage candidates.

4.1. Volunteering of Young People as an Introduction to a Culture of Love

Can volunteering experience help introduce young people to a culture of love and thus allow them to better prepare for Christian marriage and family life? This question can be answered based on empirical research results from recent years. The essence of Christian love is the ability to be a gift to others (pro-existence). This is a difficult art that should be learnt from childhood in the family environment. One concrete manifestation of pro-existence is the ability to give various things to others. The purpose of this qualitative research, conducted by interviewing youth and parents in a Protestant religious setting traditional to the United States, was to answer the question: how do religious youth learn to give? (Herzog and Mitchell 2016). The main conclusion of this study is that giving in adulthood is related to (a) being taught to give as a child and (b) having some trigger that internalizes giving in adulthood. Childhood experiences continue to have lasting effects and continued religious involvement in adulthood appears to be key to activating these childhood learnings. Although parental upbringing does not always bring immediate and visible effects on young people, it can provide a vital foundation for later activity. This is why children should be taught to give from an early age. This thesis goes without saying, but one has to ask how to do it effectively.

According to Herzog and Mitchell, there does not appear to be a ‘one size fits all’ approach to how to teach giving. Rather, parents can model giving, talk about giving, and guide their children to give, knowing that these efforts are likely to pay off later in life. From in-depth interviews with parents, Herzog and Mitchell identified nine approaches to teaching giving: (1) modeling giving by giving donations in the presence of children; (2) providing children with money to give; (3) giving children donation envelopes to place in baskets and donation plates; (4) teaching children to give by talking about the importance of giving; (5) providing children with positive reinforcement for giving; (6) encouraging, expecting, or forcing them to give; (7) a method called give, save, spend, which clearly categorizes some of children’s money into spending, some into saving, and some into giving; (8) describing giving time as an alternative to giving money; and (9) a general emphasis on fiscal responsibility, in which giving is one part of a broader focus on discussions about finances. Viewing several of these methods as a common basic approach, the researchers singled out three teaching styles that (a) model giving; (b) talk about the importance of giving; and (c) guide children to give. An important finding of this study for parents and religious leaders is that the most common way of teaching giving was a ‘diverse portfolio’ of approaches, combining multiple methods (Herzog 2017). The conclusions of the above research are important not only in terms of introducing children to the experience of volunteering from an early age but also from the perspective of preparing them for the future challenges of marriage and family life. Indeed, a frequent reason for the breakdown of marital life is the lack of the ability, confirmed by practice, to give—first small things, then increasingly important ones, and finally, giving oneself to one’s spouse.

An important environment for preparing young people for married life is their family of origin. Family is considered the first and most crucial environment for the formation of pro-social attitudes (Kalinowski 2004, p. 164). Being a community of love, the family teaches its members to become a gift to each other and then a gift to others in wider social life. The pro-social attitude acquired in the family home can then be reinforced and consolidated through involvement in various voluntary groups. It is in the family that young people can experience how their parents love each other, what God’s call to love means, what the characteristics and signs of marital love are, but also what threatens it, and possibly, what destroys it (Dudziak 2007, p. 123). Recognizing love as a personal and social value and paying attention to the multiple dangers that threaten true love implies on the part of parents the need for exceptional vigilance, attention, and care in teaching their children to love. One major challenge faced by parents is sex education for young people, whose ill-considered decisions and moral choices in early adulthood can ruin plans for a happy life in a Christian marriage and family (Przygoda et al. 2023). Naturally, parents cannot be left to tackle this task on their own, which is why the role of peer groups, constructive pastoral meetings, community seminars, retreats, and pilgrimages, but also involvement in voluntary work, is so important.

According to Pope Benedict XVI, through helping others, volunteers increasingly realize that their actions bring no merit, nor are they a reason for boasting, but rather are a grace since they have received many gifts from others, and especially from God, the source of all endowment. This is because volunteers pass on to others what they have already received through their involvement. This is about love that cannot be given unless it is first received (Pope Benedict XVI 2005: 14). In Benedict XVI’s view, this logic of gratuitousness, which goes beyond mere duties and moral imperatives, is part of the essence of voluntary service. God first bestowed His love on man and is still looking for those who can love others with Him. The essence of volunteering in Christian terms is well captured by Jesus’ famous agraphon, recalled by St Paul of Tarsus in his farewell address to the Ephesians gathered in Miletus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’ (Acts 20: 35). If this statement of Jesus refers to charity volunteers, does it not capture the essence of married life to an even greater extent? Conjugal love is far from calculating, but consists in mutual giving of spouses. Over time, this endowment extends to children and other people in the neighborhood.

4.2. Volunteering of Young People as an Introduction to Relational Spirituality

How can volunteering experience prove useful in introducing young people to a new culture of human relations? Do the results of social surveys reveal anything about this? The literature on volunteering has consistently documented the positive relationship between religion and volunteering (Putnam and Campbell 2010). Religiosity, both private and public, is one of the strongest predictors of volunteering. While attending religious services enables initial engagement in volunteering, a strong sense of the importance of religion is more important for sustained engagement in pro-social activity (Petrovic et al. 2021). Why do people with stronger ties to a religious congregation tend to be more active in volunteering than those who are religiously indifferent? This is because volunteering, as a form of engagement, requires resources (Musick and Wilson 2007, p. 111), and religious congregations provide all kinds of resources that are needed for volunteering activities, such as altruistic values, civic skills, and social networks (Putnam 2000). Notably, religious congregations provide personal friendship networks that link their members with voluntary organizations to form a close-knit community (Wilson and Musick 1997). It seems that this experience of social relationships outside family and business ties can have a positive impact on learning about relationships useful for future marriage and family life.

The relational spirituality proposed by Mahoney (2010) assumes that (a) family members who believe in God or a transcendent reality regard their family relationships and other areas of their lives, such as volunteering, as part of the sacred, and (b) such people make every effort to maintain and enhance positive family functioning by practicing religious rituals at home, attending church services, and giving and receiving social support from fellow believers (Mahoney 2010, p. 807). This framework is useful for understanding the link between religion and volunteering among married couples, as it recognizes that individuals’ perceptions of the sacred not only drive religious behavior but also relate to social behavior, including marriage and family relationships and involvement in the local community.

According to Marks’s (1986) triangle theory, marriage consists of a pair of interacting triangles, with each having three corners: the inner self (one corner), the spouse (the second corner), and other interests or commitments (the third corner). If volunteering is a common third corner for both spouses, their internal relationships are enriched and their marital bond reinforced, as involvement in volunteering allows them to spend more time together (Kim and Dew 2019). It also seems that engaged couples and even those planning long-term relationships can learn to develop personal relationships through volunteering. Apart from the stated purposes of pro-social activity, there is always a lot of added value in volunteering, and personal psychosocial development is one of the values of great importance to candidates for a Christian marriage and family life.

Typically, the effects of volunteering have been studied from the perspective of volunteers and society as a whole. We know that volunteering has positive effects on several aspects of volunteers’ well-being and health, and that volunteering increases social capital and reduces public spending on social welfare (Putnam and Campbell 2010). Grönlund and Falk (2019) performed a secondary analysis of 22 scientific articles on the effects of volunteering but from the perspective of recipients of volunteer activities. They found that two effects of volunteering were key for the recipients: a) the support of volunteers or peers increases the sense of participation and reduces loneliness; b) volunteering enhances the recipients’ self-esteem and sense of empowerment. One of the main factors influencing the effect of volunteer services is the voluntary nature of the relationship between volunteer and recipient. Reciprocity, neutrality, and presence as the basis of the relationship make receiving help and support from a volunteer distinctly different from professional help. Volunteers, who by definition engage voluntarily and are driven largely by altruistic motives, combat the negative self-image of the person suffering from loneliness as an unwanted companion. In addition, positive experiences of social interaction help recipients view social interactions in a more positive way; volunteers are there to help or support the recipient. A sense of participation, a sense of loneliness, a sense of self-esteem, and a sense of agency thus underlie loneliness as a phenomenon, as well as the effects of volunteering. Moreover, the mechanisms of the benefits of volunteering for volunteers are, at least to some extent, similar to the benefits for recipients. Volunteers experience bonding and competence in volunteering, especially when they offer help of their own volition. Thus, the voluntary nature and intrinsic motivation of the interaction is key to the benefits for both the recipient and the volunteer. Volunteering has the peculiarity that distinguishes this relationship from that of professional help, and to some extent it is also different from help from family and relatives, who can also be seen as obligated to visit and help (Grönlund and Falk 2019, pp. 22–23). Thus, volunteering teaches to build personal relationships and develops them, which can be of great importance in the process of preparing young volunteers for marriage and family.

How much the experience of volunteering develops and enriches personal relationships is shown by the charitable work of Frederic Ozanam (1813–1853), whom Pope John Paul II proclaimed Blessed of the Catholic Church in 1997. Ozanam founded the St. Vincent à Paulo Conferences among university students in Paris in 1833. Each conference consisted of a dozen or so volunteers, meeting regularly to discuss the social problems they encountered and their own spiritual formation. Each member of the conference had one poor family under his or her care, with whom he or she met regularly and aided with immediate needs. Frederick Ozanam, like his other comrades, visited families, prayed with them and organized material assistance for them. ‘It is necessary to cross the threshold of a poor man’s home,’ he said to members of his Conference, ‘it is necessary to freeze together with him in order to learn the secrets of a heart that cannot find comfort and the secrets of a conscience that cannot find peace’ (Ester 1986, p. 235). Ozanam’s charitable work grew rapidly in France and in many other countries around the world, as it was built on the personalistic relationship between the volunteer and the person in need of help. Ozanam was not only a well-educated professor at the Paris Sorbonne, a strongly committed social activist, but above all a good husband to his wife Amélie Soulacroix and father to his daughter Marie. Ozanam’s life story shows how personal relationships developed through volunteering can serve to build good relationships in marriage and family.

4.3. Volunteering of Young People as an Introduction to the Experience of Altruism

In the 19th century, the French philosopher August Comte, based on his idea of the ‘religion of humanity’, created the concept of altruism as the opposite of egoism, meaning selfless action, i.e., offering something of oneself without expecting to receive something in return (Regozini 1977, p. 82). Since then, the term has also been increasingly used to describe the selfless assistance provided by volunteers from charitable institutions. Undoubtedly, Christianity has also left its mark on the concept of volunteering, highlighting various ways to implement the commandment to love one’s neighbor since its earliest days, not only in the form of individual commitment but also through organized aid institutions. The 19th century, which brought the emergence of modern volunteering, saw the flourishing of various secular and religious aid institutions, including Caritas, the main charitable organization of the Catholic Church. The above institutions sought as many volunteers as possible for social service, thus becoming promoters and protectors of altruism.

Religion is also a key factor in explaining who a volunteer is. As noted by Wilson and Musick, ‘by teaching altruistic values and encouraging pro-social behaviour, religions elevate the importance of caring for others’ (Musick and Wilson 2007, p. 88). Religion can also influence volunteering by providing different types of capital, such as social capital (opportunity networks), human capital (skills), and cultural capital (religious capital), as well as a range of incentives to volunteer (Lewis et al. 2013). Religion can provide an ethical worldview in which helping others is highly regarded and supports this value system through networking opportunities that make volunteering possible. However, researchers of volunteering have only recently begun to incorporate the multidimensional insights of religious scholars into their models of religiosity and volunteering (Paxton et al. 2014).

It is worth recalling here the results of a study linking Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor’s theory (horizons of meaning; strong and weak evaluation; and narrative identity) to qualitative research on volunteer motivation conducted in Norway and Finland (Pessi and Nicolaysen 2010). The results of this research showed that volunteering is rewarding in many ways. Respondents noted the importance, sociability, or concreteness of their chosen activity form. Moreover, social engagement offers the opportunity to express one’s individuality and self-fulfillment. Volunteers also gained well-being and emotional security from volunteering, including a sense of success, as well as of being needed and having a place in society. Giving is usually linked to altruism or personal crises, based on which a person feels they have something to offer to another person through volunteering. It should also be noted that receiving and giving are strongly linked—more so than in the case of any other motivational pole. Volunteering is very much a matter of reciprocity: gaining by giving, mutual help, and the idea of personal growth through interaction. The results of the referenced studies further confirmed the following relationship: when volunteering is initiated based on altruistic desires, volunteers are surprised by how much they actually gain. The social nature of volunteering seems to be one of the main arguments in favor of it. The results also indicated that volunteering is sometimes seen as a channel for promoting social interaction—the volunteer advocates values, altruism, faith, or caring. For some volunteers, a significant value in volunteering is experiencing the community spirit. The latter is often based on a sense of acceptance, shared experiences, a shared sense of humor and, in more practical terms, conversations and discussions (Pessi and Nicolaysen 2010, pp. 137–39).

These optimistic findings on volunteers’ motivations can be viewed from the perspective of preparing for Christian marriage and family life. One may say that volunteering shapes a good person in terms of social relations, which raises the hope that the volunteer is or may one day prove to be a good husband or wife and a good parent. For those on the verge of adulthood, volunteering can be an instrument to help them discover their vocation in life, which is a daunting task for young people in the context of today’s cultural and religious changes—even with the support of Christian parents and pastors. However, it is worth stimulating young people to think critically and to seek values higher than consumer goods. It is especially a matter of directing their attention to love, which is the foundation of marital and family life, but also of wider social relations. Through this stimulation, young people may develop the belief that they do not live only for themselves, but also for others. Today, only based on altruism is it possible to ask young people about their life’s vocation, and then help them find answers (Lipiec 2016, pp. 142–44).

Reaching the hearts of young people with the Gospel’s message requires inserting oneself into their life experience, their perception and understanding of reality, and their highly individualized axiology and complex decision-making processes. They want to be creative participants in the ongoing social, cultural, and religious changes. Therefore, they must not be treated as passive recipients of pastoral programs or strategies created without their involvement. If parents, ministers, or lay activity organizers from religious communities can enter the world of young people, they will also be able to set high demands on them in terms of the human love necessary for their development in view of their preparation for marriage and family life (Fiałkowski and Sadlak 2021, pp. 23–24).

4.4. Volunteering of Young People as an Introduction to Attitude of Service to Neighbor

The experience of volunteering carried out especially in the area of mercy ministry contributes to the development of an attitude of readiness to serve one’s neighbor. The above thesis is supported by some empirical findings, but also by theological arguments. The results of qualitative research already cited above, conducted in Finland and Norway, on volunteer motivation—understood holistically, not focusing on the reasons for starting volunteering—showed that late-modern volunteer motivation appears to be a surprisingly complex, all-encompassing phenomenon. Indeed, volunteer motivation encompasses a variety of different, including contradictory, elements at any given time, and can change over time. A volunteer’s motivation may be more inward-oriented—but definitely not necessarily more selfish—toward varieties of thought, distance, continuity, and acquisition. In addition, the attraction of volunteering may be to the external elements of the individual—but not necessarily more altruistic—to the many ways of action, proximity, novelty, and giving. Notably, all of the volunteers interviewed were—to some, varying degree—motivated by a general desire to help: a desire to promote the well-being of others and be useful to them. Some of them also emphasized their altruistic qualities and experienced volunteering as natural, or even as a calling, in a spiritual sense. Personal experiences also motivated volunteers to help, with some wanting to encourage others through their own recovery. Altruism is closely linked to other motivational elements, particularly giving and thinking; volunteers want to help, and their values and norms go hand in hand with their altruistic desires (Pessi and Nicolaysen 2010, p. 139).

In 2010, the author of this paper conducted a sociological study on a sample of 722 volunteers from charity groups in the Catholic parishes of the Polish Church. When asked about their motives for volunteering, 80.7% of respondents indicated that an important motive was to help people in need. The second-highest ranked motive was the desire to follow the Gospel precepts (40.0%). In contrast, far fewer respondents pointed to their choice to volunteer being motivated by such things as persuasion from their environment (15.5%), the desire to experience a special community (10.9%), family tradition (6.8%), the desire to learn new skills (6.5%), and the desire to overcome feelings of loneliness and emptiness in life (6.1%). Further, 3.2 per cent of respondents indicated other motives for their decision to volunteer while 2.5 per cent of respondents indicated no motive at all (Przygoda 2012, p. 123). On the other hand, when inquired about their level of satisfaction with their involvement in volunteering, more than half of the respondents identified with the following statement: ‘it makes me happy to help others, because I too may need help one day’ (65.5%), as well as the thesis that volunteering allows one to fulfil the Gospel’s commandment to love one’s neighbor (55.3%). Nearly one in three respondents agreed with the statement that volunteering increases one’s sense of social usefulness (30.1%), and almost one in five agreed that volunteering is a source of personal happiness (18.0%). One in ten respondents confirmed that volunteering helps to forget loneliness and one’s own problems (11.9%) and that it increases personal self-esteem (11.5%). Few respondents agreed with a negative view of volunteering, expressed as follows: ‘I would gladly give up this commitment in favor of something else’ (0.6%) or ‘I find this commitment tiresome and exhausting to the limit’ (0.4%) (Przygoda 2012, p. 128). Thus, both in motivation and in perceived satisfaction among respondents, the motive of service to neighbor dominates. It probably does not need to convince anyone how useful an attitude of service to neighbor is in the life of marriage and family.

Theological argumentation also points to the fact that the experience of volunteering is a school of active love, which is manifested by helping a neighbor in need. St. John the Apostle teaches: ‘Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth’ (1 John 3:18). Pope Benedict XVI emphasized in his teaching that volunteering is, especially for young people, ‘a school of life and teaches solidarity, the readiness to give not only something, but oneself’ (Pope Benedict XVI 2005: 30). In addition, Benedict XVI pointed out that ‘whoever respects the priority of his neighbor and lives and acts according to the Gospel also shares in the mission of the Church, which always sees the whole man and seeks to make him feel the love of God’ (Pope Benedict XVI 2007). In one of his speeches, Pope Francis stated that ‘in volunteering, every service is important, even the simplest. And its ultimate meaning is opening to the presence of Jesus; it is an experience of love that comes from on high, that makes you go on a journey and fills you with joy’ (Pope Francis 2016b). Pope Francis, who highly values selfless service to neighbor in young people, noted that volunteering unleashes new developmental possibilities in young people. According to Francis, spiritual development is expressed primarily ‘by growing in fraternal, generous, merciful love’ (Pope Francis 2019: 163). In married and family life, the attitude of service is useful every day, and especially in the event of illness, disability, old age, and many other unpredictable life circumstances.

In conclusion of the discussion, it should be emphasized that many questions remain open and require further research. The state of knowledge so far does not make it possible to demonstrate which type of volunteering is more conducive to preparation for marriage and family life and which to a far lesser degree. At present, only with a great deal of caution can it be said that involvement in charitable, systematic, and long-term volunteering creates opportunities to develop skills and competencies for a happy life in marriage and family. However, this thesis is intuitive and cannot be confirmed at this stage by concrete results of empirical research. Moreover, new research is required to answer the question of what specific qualities of a young volunteer are important in the perspective of future life in marriage and family. Thus, the discussion initiated in this study needs to be continued. New empirical research is needed, followed by a substantive discussion on the interpretation of the results. It is highly advisable that, in addition to psychologists and sociologists, practical theologians, especially specialists in marriage and family ministry, be included in the discussion of the study’s findings.

5. Conclusions

According to Pope Francis, ‘the welfare of the family is decisive for the future of the world and that of the Church’ (Pope Francis 2016a: 31). Meanwhile, the results of social research point to a multifaceted crisis in marital and family relations, making it increasingly difficult for young people to start a family in the absence of adequate support from society. This is also why many young people are abandoning marriage in favor of more unstable and informal forms of affective relationships. However, research results also highlight that the family is still the first source of social life and show the existence of good practices that deserve to be shared and disseminated worldwide. In his message for the Family Global Compact, Pope Francis stressed that ‘it is in the family that many of God’s dreams for the human community are realized. Hence, we cannot resign ourselves to the decline of the family in the name of uncertainty, individualism and consumerism, which envision a future of individuals who think only of themselves. We cannot be indifferent to the future of the family as a community of life and love, a unique and indissoluble covenant between a man and a woman, a place where generations meet, a source of hope for society’ (Pope Francis 2023).

The family is a source of the common good: good family relationships are an inalienable resource not only for spouses and children but for the entire ecclesiastical and civic community. This is why it is such an important task for parents, as well as for pastors, to prepare the younger generation well for marriage and family life. Based on a secondary analysis of publications selected from worldwide resources, we have shown how the involvement of young people—candidates for marriage and family life—in volunteering can be useful for this endeavor. Volunteering experience in childhood and youth teaches the art of giving, introduces one to mature relationships with others, and gives confidence to people standing on the verge of adulthood to make responsible decisions, especially in terms of discovering their life’s vocation and choosing a specific life path.

The relationship between volunteering experiences and the preparation of young people for marriage and family life necessitates further sociological and psychological research. The author of this paper acknowledges the limitations of their argumentation. To present a coherent case for a direct link between youth volunteering and preparation for marriage and family life, empirical studies would need to be undertaken. Despite an exhaustive search of worldwide scientific databases, no results from such studies were discovered. Consequently, the author of this work opted for a secondary analysis of available empirical study outcomes related to various facets of youth involvement in volunteering.

Nevertheless, initiating a discussion regarding the connection between young people’s volunteering experiences and their readiness for marriage and family life appears to be a valuable endeavor. From the perspective of practical theology and religious education, the interplay between volunteering experiences and preparation for life within a marriage and family context can yield promising insights. It is hoped that this article will serve as an inspiration for sociologists and psychologists to undertake such research in the near future.