The Accommodation of Communication in the Family as an Adjustment of Cultural Values between Generations

Abstract

Marriage is a cultural heritage based on a social system that forms certain habits. Generational differences in families often lead to diverse orientations and values regarding wedding rituals. Both mothers and daughters undertake Javanese marriage preparation, which may conflict with what they desire the marriage ceremony to include. These relationships are conflictual in preparing for the event because they involve two generations. This study aims to explore the communication that occurs between mothers and daughters in preparation for a wedding and is analyzed through a communication accommodation process lens. This study uses a qualitative approach, with in-depth interviews and observation as data collection techniques. A data analysis is conducted using thematic analysis techniques. The results indicate the existence of two contexts: the communication accommodation that takes place produces convergence that can solve problems between generations, and generational differences caused by changes in social culture cause differences in communication styles. The findings indicate that (1) marriage is a synchronous part of socializing for both mothers and daughters and (2) the emerging differences refer more to technical aspects. These findings show differences between generations in interpreting various things related to traditional weddings.

1. Introduction

Differences in adaptation experiences brought about by cultural changes across generations form sources of conflict between parents and their children, including shifts in values. This paper explores changes in family values in a Javanese ethnic group, focusing on mothers and daughters. In particular, millennial children are likely to be influenced by digital technology, which opens up intercultural contact, resulting in their acculturation process, including more elements of foreign cultures (Venter 2017). Even in marriage preparation, where traditions and established values exist, generational differences may still be observed.

One place where generational differences can emerge is in assessments of what counts as a “resplendent” wedding event. For parents, “resplendent” typically means inviting thousands of people and arranging abundant banquets using popular catering services. Their millennial children have a different concept (Febrianti 2018). For them, “resplendent” means an intimate wedding set in a beautiful location to capture as a backdrop in their videos and photos. Given that, in Javanese marriages, women are positioned as the executors of wedding events, conflict based on generational differences might arise as brides and their mothers prepare activities ahead of the wedding.

Marriage is interpreted as sacred and essential in many traditions. It significantly impacts those who perform the wedding (Octavianna et al. 2021). Weddings are complex events that include rituals, clothes, bridal makeup, and other traditional symbols (Raji et al. 2017; Muhammad et al. 2013; Petrova 2010). These require understanding from those involved in it. Today, identity can be expressed in various ways, in the form of distinctive and unique wedding events, one of which carries a rural, antique, and simple theme, which is the current trend (Sniezek 2005). At present, brides want an intimate wedding, even though the event’s theme is traditional (Blakely 2008).

This shift seen in weddings represents a pattern of adaptation to the context of the times, which often generates anxiety (Roifah 2021). Social changes in society cause changes in the meaning of marriage in the family between different generations. In the kinship system in Indonesia, the family plays a crucial role in the growth of each individual, including in terms of marriage. The socialization process in the family is part of the effort to instill values, rules, and meanings of symbols known in the context of tradition (Petrova 2010).

Traditional Javanese marriage is the focus of interest in this study. Based on demographic/population data, 129,123 thousand people—equivalent to 47 percent of Indonesia’s population—come from this tribe (BPS-Statistics Indonesia 2022). The Javanese people are scattered over almost all of the islands in Indonesia. Marriage is a cultural moment for everyone, regardless of ethnicity, religion, or race. Marriage traditions are cultural products and provide social value to society, as in Madura, East Java (Roifah 2021), and the Community of Kei, Southeast Maluku (Kurniawan et al. 2023). Moreover, marriage can be seen as a process of institutionalizing a relationship between two people, enacted in a cultural context (Lo-oh 2023; Fortunato 2015). In this context, the marriage ordinance often functions as a cultural expression of society. This expression is embodied in various symbolic actions and objects related to the nature of the minds of the people who are members of that culture.

At this time, there are differences between mothers and daughters with Javanese ethnic backgrounds in interpreting the importance of wedding rituals. In a mother’s cultural values (in this case, the baby boomer generation, as the parents of the millennial generation), maintaining traditional values as the foundation of a marriage is essential. However, Javanese wedding traditions are complicated, because they involve many stages and processions that must be correctly carried out according to custom. Many rules and procedures must also be followed, such as choosing a reasonable date, having a siraman procession (the process of starting the bride and groom’s makeup process, using Javanese customs), midodareni (the term for a series of traditional events that are carried out before a Javanese wedding), the marriage contract, and the wedding reception. Currently, the traditional Javanese wedding reception process has undergone many changes in wedding methods and rituals due to adaptation to cultural changes. Changes regarding wedding rituals currently occur not only in traditional weddings, which focus on ritual processions for the bride and groom, but also in the types of receptions that consider prestige (social class) related to changes in lifestyle (Burch 2019).

Conflicts occur due to differences in the values and lifestyles between the millennial and baby boomer generations in the preparations and decisions regarding the wedding procession. Traditional marriage ceremonies involve a process of communication. Good communication is carried out so that listeners understand what we mean. It is also essential to avoid gender stereotypes and gender discrimination in communication (Pertiwi 2023) by providing knowledge about cultural heritage (Harrison and Mwaka 2021). Java has a patriarchal culture. Nevertheless, the center of decision making in the marriage preparation process is the mother, who involves her daughter, the bride. However, conflict can occur between mothers and their daughters as the younger generation tends to make more modern choices (Budiati et al. 2018). This context is backgrounded by modernization, which encourages young people to be more practical and fast (Roifah 2021). This is because young people emphasize the success of the wedding reception and time efficiency more than the wedding ritual process.

In preparing for the wedding, the bride-to-be and her family have much to discuss. The interaction involves frequent communication. However, mothers and daughters live in different generations (Vashti 2023). One study stated that mothers communicated more frequently and preferred cooperation (Vashti 2023). The meanings of the marriage for them would be different and might raise conflict. Thus, mothers and daughters must adjust or accommodate one another to resolve conflicts. Making adjustments to communication behavior is a form of accommodation. Even though there are obstacles in adjusting to differences due to communication styles and language, communication accommodations are often successful in interactions (Dragojevic et al. 2015). Mother and daughter figures of different generations will have different points of view, habits, values, and ways of doing things that may even be contradictory (Herdiansyah et al. 2021). This makes adjusting communication behavior when individuals from these generations interact with each other worthy of research, because the differences in values and norms adopted can trigger misunderstandings and even prolonged conflicts. The urgency of this research is the need to explore differences in communication styles due to age differences and the dynamics of interpersonal communication within the family.

Communication accommodation has been used in previous studies that have investigated the impact of religious affiliation on dyadic interaction (Hargie 2014), hospitality services (Wang et al. 2015), interpersonal communication dynamics in family interaction (Mahadhir et al. 2014), communication scholarship (Lee et al. 2022), and interpersonal process effectiveness cultural intelligence (Presbitero 2021). Nonetheless, discussing communication accommodation in adjusting the cultural values in a family is rare. The research question is as follows: what is the accommodation process for Javanese family communication in agreeing to a wedding? This research question explores adapting to dyadic interactions and communication between mothers and daughters to achieve decision making. The study aims to explain how communication was carried out in preparation for the wedding and analyze the foundation of the communication accommodation process.

2. Theoretical Review

Following the research question in this study, the focus of using CAT is to elaborate on adjustments to differences in communication styles between parents and their children in the context of cultural differences due to differences in age/different generations (Simanjuntak et al. 2022). Dyadic communication occurs when parents and children interact to decide on the wedding ritual procession. In this study, the elaboration of communication accommodation is based on language and communication style to adjust orientation.

2.1. Communication Accommodation Theory (CAT) in Family Communication Context

Communication Accommodation Theory (CAT) explores how individuals with different cultural backgrounds (in this case, children and parents, especially mothers) can adapt their communication style to another’s. They do so by converging to or diverging from another’s communication pattern (Gallois et al. 2005). In intercultural communication contexts, CAT explains how people of different cultures constantly adapt their communication styles in converging, diverging, or over-accommodating styles to people in multiple contexts. Culture infiltrates interpersonal communication, including co-cultures within families and communities. Cross-cultural communication involves communicating across contexts, and one needs to be aware of the bias that creeps into conversations. CAT can be used to learn how communicators are likely to accommodate the person they are speaking with by adopting their mode of communication, because accommodation is performed for seeking approval, inclusion, affiliation, or interpersonal goals, while non-accommodation serves to highlight differences between people (Soliz et al. 2009).

For the family communication context, communication accommodation becomes essential in the dynamics of interactions and relationships between family members with cultural backgrounds, whether different in age, religion, or because of marriages of different races/ethnicities (Harwood et al. 2006). This theory believes that communication is influenced by the socio-historical context in which the interaction occurs. Two types of accommodation processes are described in this theory. The first is convergence, which is the process by which people tend to adjust the communication characteristics of others to reduce social differences. The second process is divergence, which is contrary to the adaptation method. In this context, the individual emphasizes social and nonverbal differences between those who interact. Both processes usually depend on the characteristics of the interactants (involving a close relationship between each other and their communication). The convergent form of accommodating communication occurs when interacting with people with higher standards and characteristics believed to be better or opposite because they emphasize differences in close relationships (Dragojevic et al. 2015). Each individual can emphasize or minimize social differences. The factor that causes accommodation activities to occur is the adjustment that can be made through verbal communication or gestures. The theory developed from the theory of speech adjustment, which shows the value of psychological concepts for understanding speech dynamics.

Four main assumptions guide CAT. First, similarities and differences will occur in speech and communication behavior. People’s characteristics are based on their experiences and the cultural background in which they grew up. Second, the conversation is evaluated by understanding the perception of speech and behavior of others. Through evaluation, people decide to accommodate and adjust. Third, social status and belonging are determined by language and behavior. While people communicate, they tend to accommodate the behavior of those who are of a higher social status than they are. Fourth, norms guide accommodation processes that vary in degree of suitability. Norms define people’s behavior, and they are expected to act according to the application. Norms are conjectures that must be adhered to that guide social behavior. Thus, we must lean on the perception of social appropriateness when determining whether to converge or diverge.

2.2. Adapting to Changes in Traditions and Values in Wedding Customs

Traditional wedding ritual traditions differ in each country in Asia. This difference is due to very diverse customs and social traditions, including variations in choosing the wedding ritual process. The rituals in traditional marriage ceremonies in most cultures are associated primarily with fecundity and validate the importance of marriage for the continuation of a clan or society. Marriage ceremonies include symbolic rites thought to confer good fortune on the couple. Economic considerations play an essential role in the success of child rearing, which is why, in traditional marriage rituals, the offering of symbolic gifts to children as the married couple is a significant part of the marriage ritual.

Cultural values regarding the symbolization of marriage are part of the socialization of the importance of rituals in traditional marriages. A person’s way of thinking, behaving, and dealing with the social environment is internalized until it becomes a habit that continues to be carried out as one ages. The socialization of the habits that exist in the social system will affect how people assess the way speak, the material of the conversation, and the style of appearance. Concerning customary adaptations for marriage, marriage is a condition that contains a negotiation between reality and dreams, consisting of private property, which is different and can potentially cause conflict. In addition, the relationship between the mother and daughter often occurs because of differences in values, but the identification of daughters with their mothers occurs.

Marriages that are considered as resplendent have different concepts in each era. In families from Javanese culture, most parents have the concept of a traditional Javanese dream wedding because they have experienced the majesty and nobleness of the traditional wedding that makes the bride and groom like Javanese kings (Rohman and Ismail 2013). As a result, terms arise, such as being King and Queen for a whole day (although used in every ritual during the wedding, this expression is also expected to be a living practice throughout the marriage period).

3. Research Method

This research uses a qualitative research approach, with a case study strategy to build an understanding of communication accommodation in the family as an adjustment to intergenerational cultural values at weddings in the Solo and Yogyakarta traditions (Rohman and Ismail 2013; Panhwar et al. 2017). The informants in this study are children who make word choices when speaking (language use) to their mothers. The object of study is dyadic, totaling five pairs of daughters and mother’s brides (brides in the millennial generation (born in 1981–1996) and mothers in the baby boomer generation (born in 1946–1964)) from Javanese backgrounds (Solo and Yogyakarta), from the upper middle class, with the consideration that, in Javanese cultural customs, the event is organized by the bride’s family. The informants are domiciled in Jakarta, but the locations of the wedding events are in several cities: Jakarta, Bandung, and Yogyakarta. Apart from setting these criteria to obtain informants, snowball sampling techniques were also used to obtain insight into the interactions from the reception preparation to implementation. The snowball method allows the researcher to select one informant as the starting point for the study (Dragan and Isaic-Maniu 2013). The following information will be based on the recommendations of the first informant, and so on. Determining the number of informants in this research was based on the saturation principle.

The researchers used data collection techniques in this study with in-depth interviews, observations, and documentation (Creswell 2014). This is in line with the philosophy of natural research. In taking data, the researchers mingled and interacted intensively with the informants. Photo and video documentation also complements the data to provide clear context. Therefore, supporting data allow the researchers to maximize the study results. The data analysis technique used a thematic analysis, starting with a coding process (using open, axial, and selective coding from verbatim for all informants). Recordings of interviews with all informants were made into verbatim transcripts, which were then subjected to a coding and analysis process. A thematic analysis was carried out to extract conceptual themes from the data based on context. The thematic analysis process was carried out by examining the data from verbatim transcripts (audio recordings of interviews) by providing codes. After that, the theme was determined from the pattern findings. Sub-divisions that are related to each other and clarify the context were found. Next, theme findings were verified by re-checking the suitability. The final process involved identifying and examining the theme findings that followed the research questions. To assist the analysis process, NVivo was used to ensure the suitability of conceptual theme patterns. To maintain the quality of the research, a triangulation of the data collection methods and re-confirmation of the analysis results were carried out with the informants. Consultations were also held with experts in family communication studies who understand Javanese culture as a context for family interaction.

4. Results and Discussion

Based on the analysis results, this research has five conceptual themes related to CAT. All themes emphasize adapting communication styles, including word choice and convergence strategies. The following elaborates and explains the conceptual themes according to the research data.

4.1. Efforts to Achieve Equality of Understanding in Every Conversation

Although differences in speech and behavior are accompanied by efforts to achieve equality of understanding in every conversation, convergence in communication accommodation occurs due to feelings of discomfort or embarrassment felt by women in the younger generation, in addition to feelings of worry or anxiety about entering a new life. This feeling is mixed with obedience to and trust in the mother as part of an older generation with more experience. Thus, a child feels that following what is directed is better than forcing what they want. As one of the female informants (Informant 1) said:

“There is a lot to take care of and think about marriage. I will be calm. Rather than just fighting with mom”.

Even though the daughter and her mother have differences of opinion, the child finally accepts the mother’s opinion and obeys the mother’s decision. This is what the child informant (Informant 3) said:

“When I refused, Mom said that if you want to get married, just give in, listen to those who are more experienced, that is okay. I think it is not harmonious. I will just say yes for the benefit of the relationship”.

4.2. Children Make Word Choices When Speaking (Language Use) to Their Mother

During the conversation between mother and daughter, all child informants tried to choose polite words and spoke softly to respect their mother. Girls chose or select words by following their mother’s communication style. Speaking politely with kind words to parents is a socialized value in Javanese families. Instilling the values of politeness and obedience is essential in every decision, including in the socialization of values for choosing a life partner and marriage.

The different perspectives between two generations, parents and children, regarding marriage events represent two areas of difference in social identity. Social identity is the result of socialization obtained by individuals in their respective times (Makarovs and Allum 2023; Kish Bar-On and Lamm 2022). Parents and children have different identities because they socialize through different periods and social environments. The socialization process gives a form of intersection between the social reality experienced and the reality dreamed of by the individual. As said by a child informant (Informant 5):

“I do not know what to do with a wedding, so I automatically have to be guided to know that in Javanese culture, the steps are like this and this, it is better to do it this way, like this… so let us just trust that someone (mother) better understands”.

The family’s socialization function includes passing on cultural values (Kaakinen et al. 2010). One of the cultural values in Javanese society is reflected through the terms “bibit, bebet, and bobot” (Masfiah 2022). First, bobot means a person’s capacity that is reviewed physically or mentally (capability, faith, education, profession, willingness to work hard, skills, and behavior of the bride or the groom). Second, bebet emphasizes the family’s position in the community, and culturally, it is usually shown through the way of dressing or looking. Javanese people believe that ajining raga saka busana (respect for oneself seen in the clothes worn by a person) is perfectly reflected in this philosophy. The third is bibit, the family background or bloodline, reputation, and good name. Bibit, bebet, and bobot are essential in shaping a person’s habits.

The concept of bobot, bebet, and bibit is also written in the ninth stanza of Serat Warayagnya by Sri Mangkunegara IV: Pupuh Dandhang Gula, whose lyrics are as follows:

• Mula nora gampang wong arabi,
• kudu milih wanodya kang kena.
• Ginawe rewang uripe.
• Sarana ngudi tuwuh.
• Myang ngupaya kang sandhang bukti.
• Wiwilangane ana, catur upayeku, yogyane kawikanana.
• Dhingin bobot pindho bebet katri bibit, kaping pat tatariman.

Its translation:

Getting married is not easy, so they should choose a reliable partner (woman) who can be used as a friend in life, become a means of obtaining offspring, and find clothing and food. Three main things or attempts as guidelines (finding a partner) should be understood. First is bobot. Second is bebet, and third is bibit. Apart from these three values, there is the term triman for a marriage system where a man gets a wife as a gift from the same family background.

In communication accommodation, a behavior change occurs as a mechanism of adaptation that an individual carries out to harmonize. The form of alignment in respondents 1 and 5 was to obey the mother’s will. One of the reasons behind the change in behavior is the need to obtain approval from parents. Branje (2008) stated that the mother is more critical of the daughter in dyadic communication. The daughter tends to avoid uncomfortable conflict before marriage, so she begins to perceive and evaluate the conversation between the two.

4.3. Accommodations Vary in Degree of Conformity

The accommodation process gives rise to two possibilities: convergence and divergence. Each option will be divided into two more possibilities: the mother’s side and the child’s. Several in-depth interviews found that an argument arose between the mother and the child that gave rise to feelings of unease and physiologically tiredness (Branje 2008). The conflict encourages a process of communication accommodation characterized by behavioral change as an adaptation mechanism that an individual undertakes to align their communication with others. In the communication between the mother and child couple studied, there is also a mechanism to adjust to each other. A tug occurs between mother and child. This can be seen through conversations that pause or stop temporarily because one of the parties sees that the person being communicated with needs time to adjust. This condition happens to the child and the mother, and they perform something similar: stopping and pausing the conversation. Communication accommodation is usually delayed at this stage or situation.

The mother plays a role so that each insists on the “color” of the wedding that she wants to be displayed. For parents, the procession of the entry of brides, the selection of pagar ayu and pagar bagus (a couple of man and woman who welcome the guests), beksan performers (Yogyakarta Palace Heritage Dance), cucuk lampah (a dancer who guide the bride to the aisle), and the choice of flowers are essential (Mubarokah et al. 2019). In contrast, pre-wedding photos and videos are more important for the bride-to-be. This Javanese tradition becomes a living practice for parents, while for children, this tradition is ornamental. The mother’s position is to maintain sustainability (as a socialization effort carried out at the end of her role as a mother before the daughter gets married and has a household) as stated by a mother informant (Informant 2):

“I believe that the values expressed in culture were noble and deeply meaningful. If we were not the ones to preserve and carry them out and through so that many people would see, who else would?”

4.4. Evaluation of the Conversation Held

In connection with the communication between mother and daughter, communication accommodations state that, in conversing, a person must be able to adjust, modify, or regulate their behavior in response to others. Accommodation is usually performed unconsciously. Thus, the discussion of this study will describe how communication accommodation occurs in the five communication pairs studied (Dragojevic et al. 2015). Accommodations only sometimes take place appropriately or effectively. People rely on social norms to help them decide whether to make accommodations when in doubt.

The family becomes part of the norm control efforts. Norms are expectations that guide social behavior. Thus, we must lean on the perception of social appropriateness when determining how communication accommodation takes place. The purpose of communication is to adjust to social expectations. The child communicates with the parents to obtain advice, input, or response to the parents’ questions. Communication between family members, especially the mother, is carried out for conformity (Shrier et al. 2004). The communication accommodation suggests that communication occurs through adjustment to social expectations. After an argument, the convergence depends on the individual’s perception of the individual behavior. Individual evaluation is highly dependent on the perceptions that arise in dialogue. This interaction shows that cultural differences that occur in cross-cultural communication can be overcome with the motivation to maintain long-term relationships.

4.5. Convergence Is a Strategic Choice for Adapting to Differences

The convergence occurs in two types: convergence in parents and convergence in children. In communication between two generations, as occurs in the preparation of events, there is a conflict characterized by quarrels between two sides, giving rise to feelings of psychological unease and fatigue. The child respects the mother’s position in dyadic communication between a mother and daughter with a Javanese cultural background (a collectivist cultural group). Thus, the interaction only occurs briefly because the child tries to achieve mutual understanding by following the decisions and values conveyed by their mother.

The children’s background contributes to the complexity of the communication process. A mother’s choice of using a whole set of traditions that emphasizes detail and symbolism, in the view of daughters, illustrates impracticality, clutter, and other unsavory aspects. A mother’s need to make the wedding event happen by inviting thousands of guests who are generally relatives and colleagues of the parents of both parties is unpleasant for daughters, because they then question where they are in the middle of this event; they feel that they have lost authority over the event that should have been reserved for them.

4.6. Discussion: The Accommodation for Javanese Family Communication in a Decision and Preparing for a Ritual Wedding

In connection with the research findings, in this study, accommodation in language occurred between mothers and daughters as an effort to adapt to differences in values or points of view. As in Gallois et al. (2005), the accommodation process is similar in dialogue to obtain mutual understanding. They both exist in one typical social value and norm. These expectations guide the individual in behaving and helping individuals to find the right way to accommodate so that the communication accommodation that occurs is based on norms that are considered as socially appropriate. This happens when the daughter will still respect her mother despite her anger. The choice of polite words in the communication process by girls is a form of submission to norms, in addition to the child’s efforts to obtain approval.

Then, a convergence occurs in the accommodation process during decision making, and event preparation in Javanese traditional marriage is based on the consideration of future consequences and position/status in interaction. The interaction between mother and child is also motivated by cultural differences regarding the importance of Javanese processional rituals. However, since childhood, Javanese cultural values taught to maintain a harmonious relationship between mother and child become essential and primary in interactions. One of the emphases of convergence is the adjustment efforts by both parties. Even though parents actively make adjustments based on their experiences, they find that strategies are needed to attract and stall conversations in negotiation processes in addition to accommodating the daughter’s wishes and, simultaneously, accommodating her desires.

In Figure 1, communication problems in the family can be overcome by establishing open and two-way communication with the following elements: openness, empathy, positive behavior, supportive attitudes, and adjustment to each other. As a planned and professional action, effective family communication should be improved in quality and efficiency to improve the quality of communication in every family in society. Communication accommodation happens when both parties are consciously willing to make adjustments, and efforts for these adjustments are based on the desire or willingness to do so. Thus, this can happen and be achieved if both desire to adapt. If one does not desire to adjust to the other, communication accommodation fails, and that party is likely to impose their will on the other party. Convergence can be achieved because the communicators are mutually interested in the same issues discussed regarding their interests. They have the same belief system, norms, and behavior, allowing convergence.

In connection to Burch (2019), despite a knowledge gap in maintaining cultural values and identity, there is still a standard orientation between them. The exact orientation is found between the baby boomer and millennial generations: the integrity of the family and community are two essential values these two generations share. These two groups emphasize close family ties and tend to have large and intimate social networks. In weddings, various ceremonies and symbolic actions are held to express the importance of the event and ensure the perpetuation and harmony of the prospective new family. For example, the foods in the Malay wedding ceremony symbolize the aspects of life (Muhammad et al. 2013). In South Sumatra, the Nias people present their custom for wedding ceremonies as a Böwö (dowry) that has deep meaning: masi-masi (love) (Fitri et al. 2023). In Javanese culture, cucuk lampah is a sacred dance as an opening to the groom and the bride (Mubarokah et al. 2019). Every series of rituals is aimed at the bride and the groom to carry it out daily, and everything the husband strives for is a form of responsibility to the wife. Similarly, what the wife performs in daily practice is an attempt to manifest and prove her love for the husband (Sutikno et al. 2022).

This study shows the dynamics of communication accommodation from an internal group perspective in multicultural families in resolving conflict, not only in families with certain ethnic cultures. The accommodation process that occurs in communication between mother and daughter is not only to avoid conflict, but also to show the existence of a standard orientation for understanding through adapting communication styles.

5. Conclusions

Communication accommodation occurs in different generations with a convergent form of communication, avoiding divergence. Barriers to communication between parents and children usually arise due to prejudices from communicating parties. They can be overcome by the willingness of each party to interact and open themselves to put forward reasons or backgrounds to find agreement. In many Javanese families, misalignment in conversation will end in silence, and more evaluation of the conversation is carried out silently by each party. The process of socializing Javanese cultural values begins with the enculturation of cultural values from mother to daughter from an early age and this appears in various aspects of life. Thus, when entering the marriage context, the daughter already understands that parents will raise questions or issues regarding Javanese cultural values. Unfortunately, communication problems in Javanese families are mainly oriented towards harmonization by avoiding conflicts or considering conflicts independently, rather than facing conflicts and openly looking for solutions together. The process of communication accommodation between mother and child in the wedding ceremony lasts a short time because Javanese cultural values that have the potential to become issues expressed by the mother are already understood by her daughter.

Recommendations for further research are to explore differences in accommodation from different gender perspectives. In addition, CAT theory can be tested with the positivism paradigm. Research can also be carried out using a quantitative approach to explore patterns of language use and face-to-face communication styles, as well as the use of technological media in accommodation related to strengthening identity.