The Power of a Controversial Issue; The Developmental Power of ‘Disruptive Moments’ for Both—Teachers and Students

: In Islamic primary education the subject of Islamic Religious Education (IRE) has a prominent place in the curriculum. In knowledge transfer and in behaving as a ‘good muslim’, aspects can be in conflict with generally accepted knowledge or customs in the Netherlands. The focus is on the power of a controversial issue (either or not wearing a head scarf) as a ‘disruptive moment’, stimulating pupils’ religious identity development. An example of recently developed teaching material illustrates the actual didactical approach regarding such a controversial issue. For a contextual understanding we start with a sketch of the Dutch educational system, and the position of Islamic education and its Islamic Religious Education (IRE) therein. In the second paragraph we describe the dialogical self theory (DST). DST’s relational understanding of a child’s development, including the developments regarding keeping a secret. In the third paragraph the case study is described, followed in the fourth paragraph by the introduction of Islamic teaching material and its way of approaching the controversial issue of the case study. We conclude our contribution with a discussion and recommendations for the development of teachers’ competencies in responding to controversial issues.


Introduction
In Islamic primary education, the subject of Islamic Religious Education (IRE) has a prominent place in the curriculum. For at least three hours a week, children attend IRE classes. In addition to these classes, pupils in class 6-8 (age group 9-12) participate in the daily prayers, five times a day. The IRE classes are dedicated to the transfer of knowledge of the beliefs of the Islamic tradition and socialisation as a 'good Muslim' in the Muslim community, mostly understood as knowing and following Islamic codes. Both the knowledge transfer and behaving as a 'good Muslim' aspects can be in conflict with generally accepted knowledge or customs in the Netherlands.
After a short description of the context of Islamic primary schools in the Dutch education system, the focus is on one of the recently developed IRE methods and the way the teaching material is tailored to the psychological and emotional development of pupils age 11-12.
Special attention will be given to the power of the approach of a controversial issue (either or not wearing a head scarf) as a 'disruptive moment', stimulating pupils' religious identity development. An example of recently developed teaching material illustrates the actual didactical approach regarding such a controversial issue.
For a contextual understanding, we start with a sketch of the Dutch educational system, and the position of Islamic education and its Islamic Religious Education (IRE) therein. Then, in the second paragraph, we describe the dialogical self theory (DST). DST's relational understanding of a child's development, including the developments regarding keeping a secret, is central in that paragraph.
In the third paragraph, the case study is described, followed in the fourth paragraph by the introduction of Islamic teaching material and its way of approaching the controversial issue of the case study.
We conclude our contribution in paragraph five with a discussion and recommendations for the development of teachers' competencies in response to controversial issues.

The Dutch Educational System
Characteristic in the Dutch educational system is its structure in so called 'pillars'. 1 Until the 1980s, the system consisted of three pillars: a Protestant pillar, a Roman Catholic pillar and a Humanistic pillar. Resulting from the migration of 'guestworkers' from Turkey and Morocco, and the family reunion policy, the question was raised about their children's education. To start with, the children went to Christian schools (Protestant or Roman Catholic) and to public schools. For these Muslim pupils, Christian schools developed different pedagogical strategies. Some schools expected these children to attend morning prayer and to participate in the classes about Christian religious education. Other Christian schools respected Muslim children and did not require their participation in Christian rituals at the start of the day (prayer, singing hymns and telling a biblical narrative) (Hermans and Van Vugt 1997;Miedema 1997). Public schools taking the position of neutrality did not pay attention to the cultural and religious background of the newly arrived Muslim children. Convinced of the idea that all 'guestworkers' finally would return to their country of origin, from 1974-2004 in all schools, Turkish and Moroccan children attended classes first named as 'Onderwijs Eigen Taal en Cultuur' (OETC; Education in Native Language and Culture) later named as 'Allochtone LevendeTalen' (OALT; 'Education on non-native living languages') (Garconius 2014). These classes were expected to facilitate children's return to Turkey and Morocco, respectively. Not satisfied with the way Dutch schools responded to parents' need for Islamic religious education, and as a result of a growing awareness of the possibilities of the constitutional 'freedom of religion' in the Netherlands, Muslim parents founded Islamic primary schools. The two first primary schools were founded in Rotterdam (rooted in the Turkisch community) and in Eindhoven (rooted in the Moroccan community) (Budak et al. 2018). Regardless of the increase in Islamic primary schools, most Muslim children attend Christian or public schools. In districts and neighbourhoods in big cities with a concentration of non-native Dutch people rooted in Muslim countries, the majority of pupils in Christian or public schools are socialized in the their Muslim family and in Qur'an schools in the mosques. As a result, the discussion on teachers' position regarding the pupils and the school's ethos is high on the agenda (see, e.g., Bertram-Troost et al. 2019).
In teacher training institutes, the issue of interculturality and interreligiousity in the classroom is addressed in different subjects. The subject 'Philosophies of Life ' (introduced in 1985) includes information about world religions as these are represented in the Netherlands. Information about visible aspects, like difference in dress codes-different from what is generally accepted in the Netherlands-is included, as well as information about different characteristics related to prayer and fasting. The aim is to "get children acquainted with (differences and commonalities between) the main religious traditions and world views in the Dutch society" (Ruis et al.,undated,p. 3). In 2006 the subject 'Citizenship Education' was introduced "to promote active citizenship and integration of children (ibid., p. 3). In addition to that, a board of Christian primary schools with a majority of Muslim pupils in the city of Rotterdam facilitated teams of teachers to start so-called 'Structural Identity Consultations' (SIC; Bakker and Ter Avest 2009). The aim of these consultations is to respond to diversity in the classroom and reflect on the teacher's own (religious) identity, the school ethos and the pupil's (religious) identity-under-construction (ibid., 114 ff.). These annual consultations resulted in improving teacher's awareness of their competencies (repertoire of actions) 1 For an extensive description of the Dutch pillarized education system, its roots and its developments see Ter Avest et al. (2007). and their positionality regarding religious diversity, coined as teacher's normative professionality (Montesano Montessori and Bakker 2016).

Islamic Schools in the Dutch Education System
The first two Islamic schools, founded in 1989, turned out to be the start of a new pillar in the Dutch education system-consisting now of four pillars. Nowadays, there are 52 Islamic primary schools and two Islamic secondary schools. Islamic schools show a great variation regarding the concretization of Islamic values in school regulations. Issues regarding dress codes, mixed classes and interpretations of Qur'anic verses are approached in different ways-from strict literal interpretations of Qur'an and Hadith to a contextual approach of these holy texts (Selçuk 2012;Selçuk and Ter Avest 2017), concretised in what is called a 'polder Islam' 2 ('Islam of the Polder'). An example of the first approach is noticeable in the method for religious education in the 'El Amana' primary school; the last-mentioned approach is characteristic for the schools of the Islamic SIMON 3 school board (Aktaran 2013).
These days, as a result of '9/11′ and the successive attacks in the western world, and the murder of Pim Fortuyn (2002) and recently the attack in Utrecht (2019), Islamic schools are subjected to heavy criticism. Dutch society adopted a more distancing attitude towards foreigners in recent years, in particular Muslims. The Inspectorate critically follows the developments in the subject 'Burgerschapsvorming' (Citizenship Education), with a focus on teaching and learning democratic values. The interpretation thereof from an Islamic point of view might be in conflict with the generally accepted understanding in the Netherlands. Although contradictions are hardly ever traced by the Inspectorate in its subsequent explorations of Islamic education, the image of Islamic schools is damaged by populist politicians like Geert Wilders and Thiery Baudet, who spread unsubstantial arguments in (social) media.
In the midst of these unruly societal developments, and in Islamic schools that are under fire, Muslim children and youngsters develop their religious identity. Sometimes pupils as well as teachers (Muslims and non-Muslims) are confronted with a dilemma, for example when parents and teachers differ in their interpretation of Islamic rules. Whether or not to celebrate child's birthday is but one of the possible 'disruptive moments'. In the next paragraph, we describe the psychological development of children from the point of view of dialogical self-development. In this approach keeping 'secrets' functions as a stimulus for development, fishing out secrets as a possible hindrance to development. However, the interpretation of 'fishing out' as a disruptive moment might again stimulate the child's (religious) development.

Dialogue and Development
In the last decade of the 20th century, Hubert Hermans, professor in clinical psychology, developed the valuation theory (VT). In this theory, Hermans explores basic human motivations, directed towards Self and Other (S and O motive) (Hermans and Hermans-Jansen 1995). In some situations, these motivations can be in conflict with each other, creating a 'disruptive moment'. In the first decade of the 21st century, this theory was further developed into the dialogidal self theory (DST). The core concept is the 'positioning' of the variety of 'voices' that represent either one of the basic motivations (S-and O-motives), called 'I-position'. An inner dialogue between different I-positions, 'voicing' S-and O-motives, is needed to reduce the tension, possibly leading to a different setting of I-positions or even the creation of a new I-position in what is called the 'society of 2 In the Dutch language, 'polder' is a metaphor, a pars pro toto for the whole country. 'Polderen' as a verb is used for a characteristic Dutch way of negotiation, i.e., to sit on the fence, run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. mind' (Hermans and Hermans-Konopka 2010). The theoretical framework and its explorative method (the Self Confrontation Method-SCM; Hermans and Hermans-Jansen 1995) were initially developed in a therapeutic setting. The SCM also proves to be of great help in education, in particular for 'reflection in depth' (Kelchtermans 1994). Looking closely into tense situations in classrooms the SCM 4 can be helpful for the teacher in the exploration of the "ongoing process of negotiating and interrelating multiple I-positions in such a way that a more or less coherent and consistent sense of self is maintained throughout various participations and self-investments in one's (working) life" (Akkerman and Meijer in: Vloet 2018, p. 303). By Middendorp, the provisional outcome of this ongoing process is referred to as 'pedagogy of tact' (Middendorp 2015, pp. 107-8).
In the 'Handbook of Dialogical Self Theory' (Hermans and Hermans-Konopka 2010), an interesting contribution is included regarding the development of dialogical competence in early childhood years by the French psychologist Marie-Cecile Bertau. Her starting point of the child's identity development is the interrelatedness of self and another self "not merely existing next to each other, but always in alter-ego relations" (Bertau 2012, p. 64). The child is differently approached and known by the mother or a brother/sister or a friend. The child increasingly becomes aware of 'this is how my mother sees me' and 'this is how my brother sees me'. These images are part of the child's self, positioned in the child's 'society of mind' (Hermans and Gieser 2012).
Not only persons but also objects play a role in the development of the child's identity. Some of the objects are fine to play with, others should be handled with care; some are valuable because of their role in family or religious rituals, others are useful utensils to prepare food. The objects are introduced to the child by a significant other, and by doing so the meaning of the object is presented to the child. According to Bertau, the relation between two of the three categories (self, other, object) is a dialogical relation and thus an area where tensions come to the fore-a conditon for development.
One of the influential 'objects' these days is the world wide web. Once introduced by Robert Cailliau and Tim Berners-Lee as a worldwide library where the visitors of the web could/should share their knowledge for free, this www was soon hijacked by multinationals earning millions of dollars with Caiiliau's and Berners-Lee's invention. For children and youngsters today, Facebook and WhatsApp are 'objects' introduced to them by significant others-adults, but even more so peers and the media-and accordingly given meaning. The way the child is perceived on, for example, Instagram is positioned in the child's 'society of mind', like the perceptions of the mother and brother are positioned in this 'society of mind.' At the age of 11-12 years, the perceptions of peers, and accordingly their position in the 'society of mind', becomes an ever more dominant position.
In the Netherlands children and youngsters are legally allowed to open an account on Facebook or Instagram at the age of sixteen; the programs themselves, however, mention the age of thirteen. It seems that children prefer Instagram and Tiktok to Facebook, because the visitors of Facebook are generally older, which makes children not feel 'at home' on Facebook.
To open an account, a child should be at least thirteen, however, evidence shows that a large portion of children in their last year at primary school (age 12) have an account on Instagram-sometimes a secret account, preventing their parents from following their online activities. This is where the problem starts: what is attractive about having secrets to children, what are the boundaries of that secret space and to what extent and in what way should or must parents be included in the child's activities on Instagram? 5 4 The SCM can be helpful, but also one of the recently derived innovative methods like the 'ZelfVerbinderOnderwijs' (Self-Connector Education; Holman and Ter Avest 2020 in press). 5 At the Dutch website https://slimmetmedia.nl/basisonderwijs/ouderavond-sociale-media-2/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI54ij14af6AIVD s53Ch194AIwEAAYASAAEgLtivD_BwE tips and handy hints are given to educate children in the use of social media.

Secrets Stimulating Dialogical Development
The child's awareness of something being a secret can be seen as a sign of development. The young child "increasingly participates in a commonly shared world", and later on is able to "retreat into an interior world of cognition and imagination, in which the other is reconstructed an recreated" (Hermans and Hermans-Konopka 2010, p. 205). This goes together with the awareness of being invisible to the parent, for example in games like hide-and-seek (ibid., p. 209; Levering and Van Manen 1997, p. 33). Playing hide-and-seek with child can be seen as a precursor to making her/his activities invisible to parents and other caretakers, that is, of keeping a secret. Secrets always exist in relation to another-be it a parent, friend, or society as a whole. Secrets' characteristic is that they are relational. In the publication 'Klein Geheim' (Little Secret), three kinds of secrets are distinguished: existential secrets, communicative secrets and personal secrets (Levering and Van Manen 1997, p. 22). An existential secret is the awareness of never being able to fully understand any other person; ultimately, the other remains a secret. Communicative secrets are in close relation with existential secrets in the sense that sometimes it is impossible to make the deepest innermost feelings understandable to the other. Personal secrets are those thoughts that are deliberately not communicated to the other (ibid., pp. 22-23). Keeping a secret is one of the rights of the child "to freedom of thought, conscience and religion" (Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 14:1), and "to be treated in a manner consistent with the promotion of the child's sense of dignity and worth" (ibid., Article 40:1). Guarding a secret is always guarding a secret for another, in particular, a significant other (Levering and Van Manen 1997, p. 24). To confide a secret to another, and for the other to keep that secret, is a matter of trust and as such can be seen as prototypical for a good relationship.
Parents and other caretakers should not only allow children to have their little secrets, but even should respect their child's secret places, recognizing her/his autonomy and right to privacy, as such creating space for the child's development from concrete secret places (a hidden drawer in a wardrobe or cabinet) to a secret inner life-invisible and untouchable by parents' interventions (ibid., p. 169). In a similar way that parents never leave the little child in her/his hide-and-seek game undetected, they should act regarding the secrets of their children. Secrets are okay as long as they are fun and an expression of a trustful relationship; the moment they start to be frightening, parents' (or teachers') interventions are needed. Not in the sense of fishing a secret out and harming the relationship, but by paying devoted and caring attention to the child, and by doing so creating a space in which the child her-/himself as an autonomous person may bring a frightening secret to the fore (ibid., p. 180). However a parent (or teacher) fishing out a secret-experienced as a 'disruptive moment' in the relationship-might result in a new phase in the child's development. For this, a highly qualified teacher is needed-highly qualified in the child's psychological development as well in her/his competency for resilience.

'cyber bullying'-A Case Study
A Dutch non-Muslim class teacher of one of the more orthodox Islamic primary schools with a strict dress code was confronted with the following situation. She tells: "A 12-year old girl, Moona, came to me at the end of a long school day. This girl told me that she was chatting with some of her classmates on the topic that was central in one of the IRE classes. In this IRE class the issue was on either or not it was obliged in Islam for girls to wear a headscarf. The Muslim IRE teacher, according to Moona, illustrated this issue with some sura's and the IRE teacher's conclusion was that for Muslim girls it is important to be decently dressed, and that in this school the rule is that a headscarf is part of the Islamic dress code. After this IRE class, Moona resumed, the girls continued the discussion on the headscarf and challenged each other to post on Instagram provocative pictures showing the beauty of their hair. So did Moona, on her secret Instagram account. She put a lot of work on showing in a couple of pictures the beauty of different hair styles, accompanied by different fitting and provocative attires. Other girls jumped on these pictures and started bullying Moona. They even threatened to show these pictures to the boys and-even worse-to Moona's parents. For her parents Moona had always kept secret her activities on Instagram. Moona ended her story to me in tears, not knowing what to do. And I as her Dutch class teacher don't know either what to do. Should I inform the parents, or should I respect the girls's autonomy?" Before we take a closer look at the situation presented above-with a focus on the teacher's dilemma-we first take a look at one of the IRE teaching methods. This method is based on the document 'Worden wie je bent' (Erdal und.).

IRE-Principles in 'Worden wie je bent'
In the undated publication 'Worden wie je bent' ('Becoming who you are'), written about 15 years ago and edited by Erdal Aktaran, it is stated that the understanding of differences is of vital importance for the success of education. In this publication, a general outline is given for Islamic education, including Islamic religious education (IRE). "Sub-cultural differences of implicit opinions that go without saying may result in misunderstanding and conficts" (p. 11). For the well-being of education, principals and teachers must be open to each others' insights and prepared to learn from and with each other. "Learning by change" is the slogan referring to this open attitude. The foundation for this attitude is in the rich tradition of Islam, the Qur'an and Sunnah. Different interpretations, and subsequently different practices thereof, are respected. Teachers are expected to create an environment in which each child can flourish according her or his Fitrah. "Finally each other is another 'I', connected with her/his environment, influenced by and having effects on the context s/he lives in" (p. 31).
The core values of Islamic education mentioned in 'Worden wie je bent' are formulated in seven 'pearls of excellence', directional values for education. These seven pearls are: notion of God, tolerance, justice, self-determination, quality (of personhood), transparence (in relation with responsibility) and cooperation (with all stakeholders involved in education). These 'pearls' are in line with the core values of the Dutch constitution: freedom, equality and justice. This close relationship is noticeable in the way in which the subject of citizenship is described in this publication. Priority is given to the freedom of each Islamic school to pay attention to citizenship in its own way, in relation to the context of the school, and in close cooperation with parents. This subject is expected to contribute to social cohesion and the successful participation of pupils as future citizens in a peaceful way of living together, despite different ethnic, cultural and religious backgrounds. Paying attention to these differences in classes creates a 'laboratory' for the pupils to practice 'living ìn difference' in the plural Dutch society (p. 17).
This document is one of the publications that functions as a basis and starting point for the development of concrete teaching material. The Islamitische School Besturen Organisatie (Islamic Organization of School Boards; ISBO) is the publisher of a variety of teaching materials-for schools, for mosques and for use in families. One of the methods published by ISBO is directly related to the publication 'Worden wie je bent'. We present an inside view of this method in the next paragraph.

Teaching Method 'Worden wie je bent'
In this paragraph, we take an inside view of the teaching material developed for pupils ages 11 and 12 (the last year in primary school in the Netherlands). The booklet was published in 2017. The title is 'Bewust op reis' ('Knowingly setting out on a journey'). In the Introduction, written by Bahaeddin Budak (2017) and directly addressing the pupil, it is stated that you have to prepare well before setting out on a journey. "To reach your final destination you must be a well prepared traveller." This statement is accompanied by a traditional saying; a structure that we find throughout the booklet. In the Introduction, the pupils are introduced in the structure of the IRE lessons, containing both knowledge and challenges for actions. The ultimate aim is that "you learn how to use in actual everyday practices the sources of Islam (Qur'an and Hadith)" (p. 5). Four themes are explored in this booklet: preparation for the journey, differences in society, problem solving and your future.
The issue of the presented case study invites us to focus on chapter 3, on problem solving, with the title 'Voor-en tegenspoed' ('Ups-and-downs').
In the introduction for the pupils, it states that life is a matter of ups-and-downs. "In general you are not aware of the 'ups' in life, like being in good health. You only realise the value of being healthy once you become ill. Life is not always easy. A well prepared traveller knows how to stand 'downs'." This is followed by a hadith with a quotation of Abdullah b. Abbas (in Dutch and in Arabic) stating that if you stick to the word of Allah, Allah will be with you in hard times. Pupils have to learn this text by heart.
With the heading of 'Van huis weglopen' ('Running away from home') newspaper items are presented about children running away from home as a result of a conflict with parents about playing a video game, disagreement about a disciplinary action, contact with a boyfriend and activities on the internet. The pupils have to answer questions in their exercise book about these items, like "Why do children run away from home?", "Why do more girls then boys run away from home?" and "Who might be able to help and how?". In a figure consisting of empty puzzle pieces, pupils are invited to write down the reasons children may have for running away from home. Beneath those questions in the excercise book is a call for parents to stay in contact with their children and for children to explain what they are feeling and not lose heart-however difficult it may be. This is followed by sura 40, "Don't be sad, Allah is with us"-in Arabic and in Dutch. After this exploration of possible 'downs' in life, the prophet Muhammed is mentioned as an example due to his attitude and actions towards others by presenting three texts on good behaviour (Al-'Imran 159, Al-Bazzar 13477, and Bugârî and Muslim) in Dutch and in Arabic. Pupils then have to discuss Islamic education in small groups. The last assignment is to write a letter to the parents or one of the youngsters presented in the newspaper items and give advice on a coping strategy.
The structure of the above-described paragraph 'Van huis weglopen' ('Running away from home') is the same in each of the paragraphs of chapter 3 'Voor-en tegenspoed' ('Ups-and-downs')": 'social media-a blessing or a curse', 'no way to talk about sex and drugs with your father', travelling to Snag Yukon or Timbuktu', 'Sabr and Shukr' and 'This is Islam'. In short, the structure of each paragraph is as follows: newspaper items related to the life and world of the pupils, a sura or hadith to be copied and/or learned by heart, questions related to reading comprehension, another sura or hadith to be copied/and or learned by heart, sometimes followed by a creative art to stimulate understanding of the text (from Dutch newspapers and the tekst of qur'an or hadith-in Arabic and in Dutch), presentation of example of the life of Muhammed in Dutch and in Arabic, and finally a task to 'test' comprehension of the presented lesson. The paragraph on 'social media-a blessing or a curse' also is constructed to the same structure. The questions of the assignments in this paragraph ('With whom would you talk about these issues?', 'What would you do being the father/mother of a child that keeps a secret like mentioned in the newspaper item?' or 'Do you agree that there is no trust between father and child?') do not guide pupils to an exploration of possible dilemmas that might come into the open. Nor is there any clue for the teacher to guide her/his pupils in an exploration of the values that are underneath the possible coping strategies. In the paragraph described in full above, there is a call for parents and pupils, but no call or guideline for teachers is included in this exercise book.

Teachers' Competencies
The exercise book 'Bewust op reis' ('Knowingly setting out on a journey') is written for pupils; it is not accompanied by a guide for teachers. The theoretical background of this method is presented in 'Worden wie je bent' ('Becoming who you are') (Aktaran 2013). The subtitle of this excercise book is 'Godsdienstmethode 'Worden wie je bent'' (Method of Religious Education 'Becoming who you are'). Teachers are supposed to be familiar with the contents of that publication.
To be qualified in IRE and to educate pupils according to this method, in the Netherlands the teacher must be a qualified teacher and have graduated from one of the Pabo's ('Pedagogische Academie Basis Onderwijs'; 'Teacher Training Centre for Primary Education'; see also HBO-Raad 2011 andOnderwijs Coöperatie 2014). In addition to the formal requirements, this method implicitly expects teachers to have internalised the theoretical framework of 'Worden wie je bent'. Teachers should know about pupils' emotional development and the relationhip of IRE with citizenship education. To work fruitfully with the excercise book 'Bewust op reis', teachers also must be competent in the explanation and concretisation of Arabic and Dutch texts. S/he must be competent in connecting the presented newspaper items with texts from the Qur'an and hadith. Last but not least, s/he must be competent in creating a safe space for all pupils to talk and write about issues that may come to the fore during these lessons. For example, the issue of thoughtlessly posting pictures on Instagram, resulting in cyber-bullying. The first mentioned competencies refer to the technical aspect of education; the creation of a safe space is closely related to what is coined as a 'pedagogy of tact' (Middendorp 2015), related to the concept of normative professionalism: the competency to find a flexible and balanced coordination between technical, communicative and normative actions (Claasen et al. 2009, in: Jacobs 2013. The concept of 'pedagogy of tact' refers to the way a teacher positions her-/himself in the world, and how a teacher guides the child in her/his own positioning in the world (Middendorp 2015, pp. 107-9). The focus of 'pedagogy of tact' is on the observation of the child, affecting the heart of the child and inviting the child to join the teacher in the exploration of the world-descending to the level of the child. It is the responsibility of the teacher to connect what is important according to the teacher her/himself, and what is important according to the needs of the child. This calls for an attentive observation of the child, and reflection on the child's actual position and her/his requirements to be guided in the process of 'becoming who you are'. The teacher should be curious and willing to know the child-not only the concrete context the child lives in-her/his 'outer world'-but also the inner world of the child. The Dutch professor in Pedagogy Luc Stevens often told and wrote about the following situation as an example of 'good practice' of a 'pedagogy of tact': One morning a nursery school teacher, preparing a puppet show for her pupils, all of a sudden hears Ferry, one of her 4-year olds, saying: "Dirty bitch!" This gave all children a fright; they are scared stiff. The teacher walks over to Ferry, his face red with shame, and asks: "Ferry, what's the matter?" "My little sister is not sitting on the right chair." "Ok," the teacher replies, "Then we ask her to go to her own chair." (Stevens 2019, pp. 31-32) According to Stevens, the teacher accepted Ferry's words as they were, a curse, and immediately turned to the meaning thereof, by asking "What's the matter?" The teacher bypasses the insult and explores what is going on in the mind and heart of the child. She does not disapprove of the curse, but perceives the child's emotions and tries to understand their origin in order to find a solution. In DST terminology, the I-position of the teacher as the 'keeper of decent language' is silenced, and instead the teacher as 'guiding the pupil into the world' is coming to the fore.
The teacher acting in line with a 'pedagogy of tact' is aware of the influence s/he exercises on the child's development and the responsibility that goes hand in hand with her/his actions. S/he is expected to reflect on her/his own position-her/his position regarding the technical aspects of education, as well as the normative aspects thereof (De Haan 2016;Den Ouden and Janssen 2016;Zondervan 2016). Exploration and development of the pathic dimension should be included in the teacher's reflection on her/his positioning in the world. The pathic dimension refers to the capability of the teacher to become aware of and be able to respond adequately to her/his bodily sensations as well as the feelings that go with the effects that are evoked in the relationship with the pupil (Middendorp 2015, p. 112). A model of dialogic reflection (Gardner 2017, p. 245 ff), integrating technical, descriptive and critical reflection, is helpful to develop teachers' 'pedagogy of tact' (see also Ligorio 2012, p. 445 ff).

Discussion and Recommendations
In the case study, the dilemma presented is about whether or not to inform parents about the situation of cyber-bullying, in relation to the autonomy of the child with the right to secrets, as this is included in Article 14 and 40 of the Constitution on the Rights of the Child. This dilemma that lies underneath the disruptive moment for the teacher when Moona tells her about bullying can be reformulated as a dilemma for the teacher between two different I-positions in the teacher's 'society of mind': the I-position of being responsible for the girl's development, as this is interpreted according to a 'pedagogy of tact', and the I-position of teaching, consistent with the spirit of the teaching material (cooperation with parents is a sine qua non). The teacher struggles with the question of how to make use of the disruptive moment for Moona (peer's threats to give away her secret) to further stimulate the girl's relational autonomy in her religious identity development. At the same time, she worries about how to stay loyal to the spirit of the teaching material, referring to the role of parents as co-educators together with teachers. The Dutch teacher might be of the opinion that, first of all, the girl should be addressed and questioned about her Instagram circle of friends-are these friends also friends in daily life, did she or one of the others ever invite a foreigner to become a member of the Instagram-circle-these and similar questions find out whether not Moona was properly educated in internet codes. Such questions help the teacher to know Moona, not only her outer world but also her inner world.
In the foundational publication 'Worden wie je bent', close cooperation with parents is a sine qua non, from the beginning of the exploration of the identity of Islamic schools and continuing today (p. 6). The dilemma about informing the parents of the girl or respecting her autonomy is a dilemma regarding the role of the teacher as a confidential advisor of pupils as autonomous persons, which implicitly goes without saying in the Dutch society, and the expectations regarding a close cooperation with parents-as is explicitly stated in 'Worden wie je bent'.
In the method 'Bewust op reis', the parent is addressed once, in a call not to lose contact with their children. The relationship with parents is not explicitly included in the method, nor is the relationship with citizenship education. A guide for teachers is missing, resulting in the Dutch teacher left alone with her dilemma, related to a clash between different (sub-)culture-related pedagogical strategies for education regarding the role of secrets in the child's development, and the required actions when a secret is not fun anymore.
For the Dutch non-Muslim teacher at a strict orthodox Islamic school, this dilemma is a 'disruptive moment'. Mesker (2018) coined the concept of 'boundary experiences' for this kind of situation where two worlds come together and bump against each other. That is why they speak of 'bumpy moments' (Vloet 2018). Mesker distinguishes the following four categories of situations that are experienced as 'boundary expriences': experiences wherein discontinuity is related to existing pedagogical approaches, to personal aspects, or to the world outside the classroom (Mesker 2018, p. 35 ff). In the case of Moona, the intersectionality of all four aspects is at stake in the teacher's cry 'Should I inform the parents, or respect the girl's autonomy?' Apparently, the teacher adjusts to the school's basic assumption to cooperate closely with parents, thereby losing sight of the pedagogical approaches implicitly present in the curriculum of the Dutch Teacher Training Centres and in Dutch society. Mesker names this type of coping with a 'disruptive moment'/'boundary exprience' as 'identification'. This means that the boundaries between practices are explicit and the teacher shows no intention of changing the approaches or attitudes to overcome the tense situation (Mesker 2018, p. 60). In the case study, it seems that the teacher is stunned into speechlessness by these two apparently incompatible positions: 'close cooperation with parents' and 'respecting the autonomy of the child'. In the terminology of the DST, this is a clash of two I-positions in the teacher's 'society of mind' (Hermans and Gieser 2012).
This teacher is in need of reflection, exploring her own different positions and looking for an integration. In order to invite the pupil to join the teacher in exploring the world, according to the 'pedagogy of tact' teachers' self-reflection is pre-conditional, to get to know their own "ongoing process of negotiating and interrelating multiple I-positions" for which the self-confrontation method has been shown to be very insightful. The search for possible compromises and temporary solutions reflection should address 'disruptive moments' in teachers' professional life, and subsequently the different I-positions in teachers' 'society of mind', positions that represent their own biography-related pedagogical stance, their training-related professional stance, the school's requirements, the way children are raised at home and the general-culture-related accepted approaches in education. The intersectionality of inner conflicts needs to come to the table and the different positions be negotiated with in order to change the interpretation of the situation from 'tenseful' into 'challenging' and facilitate a transformational process in the direction of new in-between practices, coined by Mesker as practice hybridization (Mesker 2018, p. 50).
For teachers to respond to tense situations resulting from controversial issues coming to the table in IRE classes in Islamic schools, as well as in Christian and public schools, we recommend that teachers reflect with their colleagues on these situations on a regular basis, for example in structural identity consultations (SIC; Bakker and Ter Avest 2009) or in moral case deliberations (MCD; Hartman et al. 2019). Reflection on the characteristics of the 'disruptive moment'/'boundary experience' regarding value orientations, reflection on the variety of coping strategies that are practiced by team members, and last but not least, reflection on the frustrations raised by the chosen pedagogical strategy. This will articulate teachers' position of the different 'voices' in their own 'society of mind', including the 'voices' of colleagues and parents that resound more or less powerful in their 'society of mind', and enrich teachers' repertoire of actions. Such a 'deep reflection' will improve teachers' action and reflection 'on the spot' in the midst of a tense situation. 'Deep reflection' is expected to improve teachers' competency to respond to controversial issues doing justice to all persons involved, and as such creating a safe space for everyone in class. Knowing how to interpret her/his own effects in tense situations, and being familiar from her/his own experience with the developmental power thereof, this reflection will contribute to the teacher's 'pedagogical tact' and enable her/him to respond to the child's developmental need for 'disruptive moments' as milestones for identity development. A teacher who has developed 'pedagogical tact' is able to turn a 'disruptive moment' in the life of the child into an autonomy-stimulating and life-enriching moment-in line with the child's rights according to the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Funding: This research received no external funding.

Conflicts of Interest:
The author declares no conflict of interest.